The Grouchy Editor

“If you love someone, you forget what they look like.”  — Joy Behar reacting to the ad pictured above, which plugs a Web site for married cheaters.

I don’t know, Joy.  I appreciate the sentiment, but I think I’d have a hard time forgetting the appearance of this little honey.

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I don’t understand how Elisabeth Hasselbeck became a celebrity.  I remember her, vaguely, from her tenure on Survivor, but only because she pranced around in a bikini.  I guess that she had balls for confronting arch-enemy Bill Maher this week on The View, but she didn’t exactly advance her cause — assuming she has one.

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I’m just as pissed as anyone else about the mess at Penn State, but it does make me wonder — whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty?  Has there ever been such a collective rush to judgment?

Possibly worst of all is HLN resident hothead Mike Galanos.  After playing the now-infamous interview in which Bob Costas asked Jerry Sandusky if he, Sandusky, is a pedophile, Galanos barked to viewers, “That was not a yes or no answer!” Granted, Sandusky hemmed and hawed in his reply, but he clearly said “no.”

God help any criminal defendant if Galanos ever lands on the jury.

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                      Haldeman                                                            Williams

A theory:  The “masters of the universe” on Wall Street and in the business world — like Freddie Mac’s Charles Haldeman and Fannie Mae’s Mike Williams, above — get away with screwing taxpayers and stockholders in large part because they look so … ordinary.

These guys invariably have bland public personalities and John Doe faces.  Hell, even their names are dull.  They remind everyone of the kindly ushers at a Lutheran church.  No one really notices them, which is precisely how they like it as they pick our pockets.

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Does anyone else recall Bradley Cooper, People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive,” from his man-on-man sex scene in Wet Hot American Summer?   Cooper (I know you want the details) assumes the “female position” in his auspicious motion picture debut.

Mel Gibson, some of us miss you.

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Speaking of men kissing men … the Vatican used its clout to get clothing retailer Benetton to stop using a doctored picture of Pope Benedict XVI kissing al-Azhar Sheikh Ahmed al-Tayyeb.  OK, Vatican, you can stop Benetton but you can’t stop all of us.  I will gladly post anything that belittles this Pope, because this Pope shields child molesters.

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Hard to say who had a tougher week:  Joe Paterno, who got fired and learned that he has cancer on the same day, or Robert Wagner, whom the police say is not a suspect in the re-opened Natalie Wood case, but whom everyone thinks is a suspect in the re-opened Natalie Wood case.

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And finally, as a long-suffering Minnesota Vikings fan, I think I might have found a soul-mate:

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“Joe Paterno is Penn State!”  Or so we kept hearing from football fans distraught over the elderly coach’s firing.  I guess that means that Penn State is composed of clueless assholes.  Guess what, Penn State fans?  The vast majority of Americans don’t give a damn about you or your screwed-up school.  But we do take an interest in child molestation and massive cover-ups.

Penn State is playing a game today to begin the “healing process.” Playing the game to “honor the victims.”  What a load of horse manure.  This school needs to be punished before it can begin its “healing process,” and cancellation of its season would be a good start.

Looking at the bigger picture … outside of the Mafia and the Catholic Church, is there any institution more corrupt than college athletics?

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Sadly, my love affair with The Huffington Post seems to be over.  If I say something that she doesn’t like — nothing threatening or obscene, mind you; just things that she does not like — she censors me, apparently.  Not good for a Web site that supposedly champions free speech.

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I guess I was spoiled by the Casey Anthony and O.J. trials, but I’m sorry, this Conrad Murray business was as dull as dishwater.  Things perked up a bit when Murray’s stripper girlfriends (including the lovely lady pictured above) took center stage, but that was as exciting as things got.

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We had the first-ever nationwide test of the emergency broadcast system on Wednesday.  I am noticing more and more of these “tests” during my nocturnal TV vigils.  Should we be concerned about this?  Just curious ….

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I swear, Obama is at his most entertaining when he doesn’t realize he’s being recorded.  First, it was the “clinging to guns or religion” fiasco, now it’s this dig at Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu:

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I watched a tornado video on the news.  Once upon a time, tornado footage on TV was a pretty big deal.  But in this age of cell-phone cameras, twister videos have sadly gone the way of NASA rocket launches — no longer very special.  On the other hand, that tornado in The Wizard of Oz never gets old, does it?

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)