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23Dec

Who Goes There?

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by John W. Campbell

This is why, in some literary circles, science-fiction gets so little respect. Campbell had a great idea – malevolent, alien life force, frozen in Antarctica for millennia, is thawed by a small group of unwitting scientists – and he put his pen to paper. But Campbell had one problem: He could not write. Let me rephrase that: Campbell writes abominably. He never uses an adjective when two or three will do, he indulges in hyperbole, and he garbles grammar. Huge chunks of the novella are incomprehensible. I have no idea how Who Goes There? found a publisher, but I can see why Hollywood found it attractive. Campbell’s premise was one that filmmakers could build upon – and improve with very little effort (The Thing movies are based on this story). Yes, in this case, the movies really are better than the book.

21Dec

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

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If you haven’t seen the Swedish version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, then the American remake should please you. If you have seen the original and decide to take in director David Fincher’s copy — excuse me, “reimagining” — prepare for deja vu.

A year ago, I saw the Coen brothers’ update of True Grit. I enjoyed the new film, but it was a peculiar experience because, aside from new actors, I felt as though I was watching the 1969 John Wayne classic again, pretty much verbatim. I had that same feeling as I watched Fincher’s much-hyped thriller. Fincher gets a lot of things right in adapting Stieg Larsson’s novel: the wintry sterility of the Swedish landscapes; casting the right actress to play Larsson’s heroine, the enigmatic Lisbeth Salander. But Danish director Niels Arden Oplev also got those things right in his 2009 original.

Oplev and Fincher both do some tweaking of Larsson’s plot, but they’ve essentially made the same film. What made the first movie stand out was the chemistry between leads Michael Nyqvist and Noomi Rapace. Rapace, especially, made a strong impression as Salander, the goth-girl computer hacker who helps track down a serial killer. In the new film, Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara also strike sparks. But as the adage goes, the first time is always the best, and I prefer the two Swedes.

Fincher is my favorite working American director. He prefers dark subject matter, and always puts a personal stamp on projects. So this movie surprised me, because it hasn’t a drop of originality. It isn’t bad, mind you, just unnecessary. Grade: B

Director: David Fincher Cast: Daniel Craig, Rooney Mara, Christopher Plummer, Stellan Skarsgard, Steven Berkoff, Robin Wright, Yorick van Wageningen, Joely Richardson, Geraldine James, Goran Visnjic Release: 2011

Watch Trailers and Clips (click here)

19Dec

The Window at the White Cat

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by Mary Roberts Rinehart

I keep asking myself why Agatha Christie became a household name while Rinehart – an author quite similar to Christie – has faded into obscurity. I think the answer might be that Rinehart, unlike her British contemporary, never created a charismatic, recurring protagonist. Her books have no Poirot, no Miss Marple, no hero to capture the public’s fancy. At any rate, The Window at the White Cat is vintage fun from the American writer. One thing I’ve learned: It’s never safe to put out the lights and go to bed in a Rinehart mystery, because someone is always breaking into your house.

19Dec

Free Flick of the Week: “Nothing Sacred”

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In 1937, the screwball comedy Nothing Sacred was a critical and commercial smash, and it helped make Carole Lombard the highest-paid actress in Hollywood. Five years later, the 33-year-old actress was killed in a plane crash near Las Vegas. Watch the legendary star in what might be her best film by clicking here (YouTube version) or here (IMDB version).

18Dec

BBC America

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If you read enough Agatha Christie or watch a lot of whodunits, you tend to get pretty good at deciphering clues. Often, you can predict who, exactly, done it. (Unless — heaven forbid — the story cheats.) To lure in the savvy mystery fan, a smart TV crime series comes equipped with two extra weapons: atmosphere, and great characters. Advantage: Brits.

Here is my take on three British mysteries now airing on BBC America.

State of Play — Everything is messy in this political thriller, including a marriage, old friendships, journalistic ethics, and police-press relations. But the direction, acting, and script are crisp and compelling. This might be the best “reporter drama” since All the President’s Men. Bill Nighy, as a crusty newspaper editor, has the juiciest lines.

p.s. Don’t confuse this 2003 miniseries with its 2009 Hollywood remake starring Russell Crowe (not bad, itself). Grade: A

Cast: John Simm, Kelly Macdonald, Bill Nighy, David Morrissey, Polly Walker Premiere: 2003

**

Whitechapel — Jack the Ripper, the original serial killer, never gets old. Jack is just one of the legendary murderers resurrected in Whitechapel, which seems to prove that violent death is an eternal side effect of living in London’s East End.

Rupert Penry-Jones stars as a rookie detective inspector who does battle with his own insecurities and a host of copycat killers whose murderous role models include ripping Jack and the notorious Kray twins. When the show focuses on life at the police station the material is a bit clichéd, but once the action moves to the foggy, seedy streets of the Whitechapel district … watch out. Grade: B

Cast: Rupert Penry-Jones, Philip Davis, Steve Pemberton, Alex Jennings Premiere: 2009

**

The Hour — Imagine the love triangle in Broadcast News. Now subtract the comedy, add a plot involving Cold War spies, and you have The Hour, an arresting mix of suspense, romance and, sadly, a distracting dose of political correctness. As it depicts the story of three young Brits striving to produce a current-affairs TV show, The Hour tends to clobber us over the head with “you go girl” feminism and topics including the death penalty and civil rights — worthy dramatic material, certainly, but hot-button issues in 1956? But the period settings and costumes are a hoot, the lead actors are engaging and, as is customary with BBC productions, everything is oh-so smart. Grade: B+

Cast: Ben Whishaw, Romola Garai, Dominic West, Anna Chancellor Premiere: 2011

Warning for American Viewers: All three of these shows feature at least a few characters with heavy British accents. It can be a challenge for the viewer (at least for this viewer) to follow a complex plot without frequently reaching for the rewind button — or resorting to subtitles.

Another Warning: It appears that these programs have been edited, i.e., censored, for content, including language.

17Dec

The Weekly Review: December 11 – 17

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I read that Michael Fassbender’s (above) acting in the sex-filled Shame is “fearless.” I’ve seen that adjective used to describe performances by actresses like Michelle Williams and Halle Berry. “Fearless” is critic-code for “He/She gets naked a lot in this movie.” Rooney Mara, no doubt, gives a fearless performance in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

*****

Irritating Codger of the Week: Tom Brokaw

Brokaw’s mush-mouthed, incomprehensible delivery made for painful viewing back when he was anchoring the news. Then he managed to alienate Baby Boomers and most everyone else with his “greatest generation” hogwash. (Apparently, widespread racism and sexism during the 1930s-’60s were just minor flaws, in Tom’s opinion.)

Now Brokaw is popping up on the talk-show circuit as some sort of “elder statesman.” Sorry, dude, but you ain’t Walter Cronkite — and you look ridiculous in that robe (above).

*****

Here you go, Bush, this is your legacy:

*****

Simon Cowell says that new America’s Got Talent judge Howard Stern is “not stupid,” and that Stern will have to curb his outrageousness for NBC’s family-friendly show. “If he goes too far, he’ll be kicked off,” Cowell says. Hmmm … a tame Howard Stern? Doesn’t that pretty much defeat the purpose of hiring him?

*****

From E! Online: “We want to hang out with Charlize Theron, like, right now. Seriously, could she be any friggin’ cooler?” E! Online then uses a quote from actress Elizabeth Reaser to explain what makes Theron so friggin’ cool: “She [Theron] is also very potty-mouthed. Everyone else I know says ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’ every other word, but she is just so unabashedly herself.”

This reminds me of Entertainment Weekly’s recent love letter to Hollywood has-been Ellen Barkin (below), in which EW readers were informed that the profanity-loving actress is “our new Twitter obsession.” And why is that? Because “Anyone who reads Barkin’s profane, blunt, and hilarious Twitter feed knows that there’s definitely no filter on the 57-year-old actress and mother of two young adults.” And what, exactly, makes Barkin so funny on Twitter? She swears. A lot. I guess if you’re 57 and a mother, that’s considered hilarious.

Listen, I’m no puritan, but whoever said that people who swear a lot are compensating for a lack of imagination was onto something. Cursing, by itself, is not particularly funny. So go fuck yourselves, Charlize Theron and Ellen Barkin.

On the other hand, I would like to hang out with Theron, especially at the beach (below), although not because of her vocabulary.

15Dec

Fright Night

Posted in Books, Movies, TV & Web, Movies | 1 Comment

Fans tend to get upset when Hollywood decides to remake a treasured movie, but I don’t see much harm in it if the reboot is well done. Fright Night, the 1985 cult-classic horror-comedy, was not exactly Shakespeare, but it was a lot of fun. Fright Night, the 2011 version, is not as witty as its progenitor, but it, too, is a lot of fun.

Director Craig Gillespie and scripter Marti Noxon get a lot of things right in their remake, and they even toss in an improvement or two. The story’s new setting, a cookie-cutter suburb of Las Vegas, is ideal for a vampire movie. Already hellish, this bland chunk of isolated real estate is ripe for a monster invasion.

The film also retains the original’s sense of humor. Anton Yelchin, as an awkward teen who suspects that his new neighbor might be a blood sucker, is an inspired piece of casting. Yelchin is utterly believable as a kid struggling with high school horrors and, once Jerry the vampire (Colin Farrell) moves in next door, much, much more. Charley is such an innocuous Every Kid that, five minutes after the film ended, I doubt that I could have picked him out of a police lineup — and that’s a compliment.

But Fright Night version II can’t quite top the original. David Tennant, as monster hunter Peter Vincent, is no Roddy McDowall. Baby-faced Farrell is much better than I expected as the hunky vampire, but when the time comes for him and his fellow undead to enact the titular “fright night,” the results are a bit of a letdown. Special effects can only do so much. Grade: B-

Director: Craig Gillespie Cast: Anton Yelchin, Colin Farrell, Toni Collette, David Tennant, Imogen Poots, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Dave Franco, Reid Ewing, Sandra Vergara, Emily Montague Release: 2011

Watch Trailers and Clips (click here)

12Dec

Free Flick of the Week: “Jagged Edge”

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I’m a Jeff Bridges fan, but I’ve grown a bit weary of his “good old boy” routine. Yeah, yeah, Bridges is “The Dude,” and critics love it when he plays rednecks and drunkards. But I know Bridges is capable of other things – like playing a smooth villain (or is he?) in the 1985 thriller, Jagged Edge. This movie, co-starring Glenn Close, has one of the best “gotcha!” moments I’ve seen on film (it involves a typewriter keyboard). Watch it for free by clicking here.

10Dec

The Weekly Review: December 4 – 10

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Book me on a flight, pronto, to the recently discovered, Earthlike planet with a temperature of — heavens be praised! — 72 degrees. A bonus: no TV on this planet, hence no more Republican debates.

*****

I’m tired of hearing from that New Jersey whale, Chris Christie. He is much too fat to be president. Christie is too bloated to be an elected official, period. Fat people sweat like pigs, and their odor offends me.

Do those comments sound cruel and bigoted? Good, because they are meant to be. I am a smoker, and I hear that kind of crap every day. Because I am expected to take it, I will also dish it. Fatso.

*****

Fans in St. Louis are weeping over the loss of their beloved baseball hero, Albert Pujols (above). Tough titty. I sneer at you fans. Serves you right, suckers.

Pujols, who bolted to California for $250 million, was demonstrating loyalty — to Albert Pujols. Sports organizations like the St. Louis Cardinals love to preach “fan loyalty.” But loyalty to what, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous? It’s always a one-sided relationship with clubs and players on one side, fans on the other. And fans are the ones who get dumped.

We have the same issue here in Minnesota, where a spoiled brat named Joe Mauer (below) plays when he wants to (not often) and pouts to the media whenever anyone dares question what he’s done to justify his budget-busting salary.

*****

“The 14-year sentence is so excessive,” griped MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough, lamenting the prison sentence handed to former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich. Boo hoo hoo. The problem with our legal system is that white-collar crooks like Blago routinely escape with light sentences, or no sentences, while small-timers get screwed. It’s heartening to see the mighty fall — if only on occasion.

*****

The film community is atwitter because New Yorker critic David Denby violated an unwritten rule when he published an early review of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo — after he agreed not to do so. Tattoo producer Scott Rudin called Denby’s action “lousy and immoral” and vowed to ban the critic from future screenings. Denby responded with whines and lame excuses. Shut up, Denby.

As for the review itself, I’m a bit surprised by Denby’s praise for star Rooney Mara. After watching Sweden’s Noomi Rapace (above) in the original film, I can’t imagine any other actress portraying Lisbeth Salander.

*****

Playboy’s photo spread of Lindsay Lohan has leaked to the Internet. I figured I should do my part in sharing this big news with the world. Sure, the pictures look artistic, but the problem with celebrity Playboy spreads like this one is that, once the stylists, art directors, and airbrushers finish their work, the actual woman is barely recognizable. Well … her fanny looks real enough.

08Dec

The Omnivore’s Dilemma

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by Michael Pollan

For the most part, Pollan pulls off a neat trick. He turns a book about feed corn, fungi, and fertilizer into a compelling page-turner – but only for about two-thirds of its length. At a certain point, his chapters become detail-heavy and repetitive, with endless stretches of tedious facts interrupted by short bursts of unpleasantness. Pollan is a gustatory George Plimpton – sometimes humorous, sometimes snobbish – but his book is simply too long.

The “omnivore’s dilemma” is this: deciding what to eat that is best for the mind, body, and soul. After reading Pollan’s descriptions of the horrors to be found at America’s slaughterhouses and processing plants, it’s tempting to eat nothing at all and opt for starvation. In America, there are too many consumers and too much money to be made by mass producing our food in less-than-ideal conditions. (Becoming a vegetarian or vegan does little to change our entrenched system, and it turns out that “organic” franchises like Whole Foods are nearly as ecologically unfriendly as Walmart.)

So … what is the solution to the omnivore’s dilemma? Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be an easy answer – not if we don’t want to starve to death.