by Janet Evanovich
I’m not sure who’s more foolish, Stephanie Plum or me, because I continue to read this silly series. Eighteen is more of the same-old slapstick, but what’s new is that, for some inexplicable reason, Evanovich has made her plot ridiculously complex.
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These are tough times for the “1 percent.” The economy still sucks, their presidential candidate keeps putting his foot in his mouth, and even Richard Gere, with his movie-star looks and charm, can’t portray one of them and garner much sympathy.
In Arbitrage, Gere is Robert Miller, a Wall Street hedge-fund magnate whose world begins to crumble when a bad investment — in a Russian copper mine, of all things — leads him to commit fraud during negotiations for his trading empire. Miller’s personal life is even messier: A car accident ends badly for his mistress, and when he attempts to cover it up, Miller draws the attention of a New York cop (Tim Roth) who has no love for “masters of the universe.”
What follows is The Bonfire of the Vanities meeting a 1970s episode of Columbo, but without much suspense. Arbitrage is slick, smart … and unsatisfying. It’s a curiously flat movie, always interesting but lacking tension. Susan Sarandon and Brit Marling, as Miller’s wife and daughter, are on hand, I suppose, to engender sympathy for Miller’s embattled family life. But it’s difficult to care much about the fate of people who rely so heavily on wealth for their self-esteem:
Says one character whom Miller enlists to help fool the cops: “You think money’s gonna fix this?”
Miller: “What else is there?”
As a viewer, I wanted some sort of resolution to this game of cat-and-mouse between Miller and the police. Either the bad guy should win or the good guys should win. That might not reflect reality, but it would make for a better movie. Grade: B-
Director: Nicholas Jarecki Cast: Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon, Tim Roth, Brit Marling, Laetitia Casta, Nate Parker, Stuart Margolin, Chris Eigeman, Graydon Carter Release: 2012
Watch Trailer or Clip (click here)
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It was a dark and stormy night …. You never know these days what kind of movie you’re going to get when John Cusack is the star – crowd-pleasing junk or critics’ darling – but this mind-bending thriller is slick and entertaining. Click here to watch it for free.
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“During sex with your father, is it considered cheating if you think of someone else?” — Joy Behar, mangling a viewer-submitted question (she meant to say “partner,” not “father”).
It’s possible that I might have butchered Behar’s mangled quote, just a bit. Behar’s new network, Current TV, does not provide written transcripts of her show. My point is this: Who knew Jokin’ Joy is back with a new show?
*****
Prick of the Week: Moneyball Author Michael Lewis
Rachel Maddow: “Why do you think President Obama let you have this kind of access for eight months?”
Michael Lewis (author of a new book about Obama): “It’s interesting because he never explained why it was that he let me tag along with him, which is what he did.”
Gee, Mr. Journalist, could it be because you violated reporting ethics, big time, by agreeing to let Obama veto any quotes he didn’t care for?
*****
*****
I was watching one of those British mystery series, Midsomer Murders. The killer turned out to be a young woman, the product of an illicit affair, who was upset because she wasn’t fully accepted by her family — the “Inkpens.” Yes, folks, she was driven to kill because she really, really wanted to be an Inkpen. Gotta love those British mysteries.
*****
“Well I hate to say this but I was right and the president was wrong.” — Bill O’Reilly, crowing about his “prediction” of trouble in Egypt. Great work, Bill. You, and only you, suspected that violence might once again rear its ugly head in the Middle East.
*****
Yes, there is another scandal involving England’s royal family. According to at least one Web site, “Kate [Middleton] was spotted smoking a cigarette as the couple walked out of nearby Marseille airport, where they arrived on a commercial flight.”
This kind of behavior must end. Cannot believe they are taking commercial flights! And oh, yes, there are also naked pictures of Kate, taken apparently as she playfully mooned the photographer.
*****
And finally, since we are on the subject of sexy mammals …
Click here for the saddest love story since Romeo and Juliet
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by Dan Ariely
In all honesty, this book was a letdown. The human propensity for lying and cheating should be a juicy topic, but Ariely manages to squash reader interest by (mostly) confining his experiments to sterile classrooms, where one group of student volunteers after another pencil in answers to one dull test after another, usually involving dotted matrixes, one-dollar bills, and paper shredders. When Ariely and colleagues do leave the artificial environment of the classroom – sending a blind girl into a farmers’ market to buy tomatoes, for example – their research yields some interesting results.
But back to that classroom … our intrepid social scientist’s big discovery is this: We all cheat, but only a little bit. And if we can just get a few reminders that cheating is bad, maybe we won’t do it so much.
That’s not exactly a scientific breakthrough; it’s simple common sense. And that’s the brutal truth.
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This is, if memory serves, the first film that I saw in a movie theater. Now that you know approximately how old I am, watch David Lean’s 1962 classic free of charge by clicking here.
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Headhunters Roger (Aksel Hennie, Norway’s answer to Steve Buscemi) is a little guy whose gorgeous wife Diana (Synnove Macody Lund, Norway’s answer to Sweden) has expensive tastes. So Roger, a corporate headhunter, supplements his income with a side business in stolen art. And then … things begin to go wrong for Roger. The twists in this clever thriller are unpredictable, and the action is relentless; in fact, things move so fast that I’m not sure whether the plot holds up. But hey, you could say the same thing about some Hitchcock classics. Release: 2011 Grade: B+
*****
The Silent House Young Laura and her father are hired to repair an abandoned cottage — but this is an old-dark-house movie (sort of), so we know that trouble’s afoot. There’s a fine line between “artistic license” and a storyline that cheats, so how you feel about the twist at the end of this low-budget chiller from Uruguay — shot in one well-choreographed, 78-minute take — will likely depend on what you feel is fair. But until its iffy denouement, this House harbors solid suspense and delivers a few genuine jolts. Release: 2010 Grade: B
*****
Heavenly Creatures The attractions here are Peter Jackson’s direction, the performances by Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynskey, and New Zealand doing what New Zealand does best — looking like New Zealand. But the dark story, based on an actual murder carried out by two teens in 1954, is less compelling than off-putting. Release: 1994 Grade: B
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by Margery Allingham
British mystery novelist Allingham is less interested in clever plot twists than in her characters, which is both good and bad. Good, because she’s created an unusually strong villain, the knife-wielding, tortured-soul Jack Havoc (a.k.a. “Johnny Cash” – I kid you not), but bad because her heroes are a bland bunch. Whenever the action shifts to the story’s quartet of lovebirds, I was reminded of those old Marx Brothers movies – pure genius whenever the boys were on screen, but barely tolerable when the obligatory lovers took center stage.
© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)
Bill Maher issues “New Rules” for whatever happens to be ticking him off. After suffering through two weeks of political bluster at the conventions, I have my own new rule: No more mentioning your ancestors in political speeches.
I’m touched that your grandma raised 38 children and rode a mule-driven wagon to the marketplace, and I’m happy that your daddy rose heroically from shoe shiner to president of the Lions Club. But what, exactly, does any of that have to do with you?
*****
“Why is that? Why do we need to work?” — Greg Gutfeld, above, on The Five
Because if you didn’t work, you’d have time for introspection. And if you had time for introspection, you might realize how you come off on The Five. Like a sad, bitter little turd.
*****
“Europe is trying Republican-style austerity, and it’s driving them, literally, numerous countries, over the cliff.” — Democratic strategist Julian Epstein (above)
Unless the Italians have messed with Mount Vesuvius and the venerable volcano is erupting and steamrolling villages, then no, Europe is not “literally” driving countries over the cliff.
*****
Putin is in the news again, this time for ruminating about group sex and for hang gliding with wild cranes. Yet for my money, Putin’s strangest moment remains the day that he planted a kiss on a five-year-old boy’s belly.
*****
Yes, times are tough in the publishing world, but I’m tired of receiving “special double issues” of Entertainment Weekly. A typical issue of EW contains about 80 pages. A recent EW “special double issue” had 120 pages. Do the math.
Next week, of course, there will be no issue at all. I think it’s time to change your name to Entertainment Every Other Weekly.
*****
Fall TV Excitement!
“Take a deep breath, and lower your expectations.” — Producer Howard Gordon, warning Homeland fans about the show’s second season. That sounds like a good idea. A big part of season one’s appeal was the mystery of Sgt. Brody: Was he a good guy or a bad guy? The season finale pretty much answered that question. So what do they do for an encore?
“[Networks] were all ‘Horror does not work.’ It does work.” — NBC producer Bryan Fuller. Sure it does — on the big screen, not on the small one. I enjoy American Horror Story (below) and The Walking Dead because they are freaky and creepy. But there is one thing they are not: frightening. I don’t know exactly why, but TV doesn’t do scary. Never has, probably never will.
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You might have heard of this movie. You might also have heard of its director, someone named Steven Spielberg. Watch it for free by clicking here.
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