The Grouchy Editor

In the wake of Al-Jazeera’s purchase of Current TV, Joy Behar: Say Anything! released this new publicity shot of Joy welcoming guest Ellen DeGeneres to the show.

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“Overused Too Often”

CNN interviewed John Shibley (above), a creator of Lake Superior State University’s list of annoying words and expressions that simply must go.

Martin Savidge:  “So let’s talk about … how this list-compiling all began.”

Shibley:  “[We] discussed how many words and phrases are overused too often.”

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My proposed term to dump:  “disgruntled employee”

We hear this whenever some wackdoodle returns to the office and blows away former co-workers.  But these people are not “disgruntled,” which to my mind describes a cubicle-dweller who is unhappy with the decaf in the breakroom, not some lunatic with an Uzi.

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Sometimes I weep for humanity.  This poll makes me very sad.  Doesn’t anyone believe in young love, anymore?

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**SPOILER ALERT!!!**

Sorry.  I’ve just always wanted to write that.

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Jimmy Kimmel takes on Letterman and Leno this week.  I handicap the race:

Letterman — the best

Kimmel — too damn many commercials.  I once timed an ad break during his show and it lasted nearly nine minutes.  Jimmy, your guests had better be The Beatles — including the dead ones — if I am going to sit through that many ads.

Leno — every year, this guy grows more physically repulsive, and I simply cannot stand to look at him

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Speaking of physical appearance … hell must have frozen over, because voters sent an attractive politician to Congress.  Thanks, Hawaii, for giving us Tulsi Gabbard (below).

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“I go to the gas station such a small amount, that I forget how to put gas in my car.” — Volt owner Elissa, above.

Let me get this straight:  Because this self-confessed idiot likes the Chevy Volt, I should run out and buy one, too?

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Lots of excitement in these parts over the possibility of Minnesota’s Adrian Peterson (above) setting an NFL rushing record tomorrow.  But press coverage of Peterson’s historic pursuit seems to be leaving out something … or someone.

Media types inform us that Peterson is closing in on the single-season yardage record set by Eric Dickerson back in 1984.  But is that the whole story?  Dickerson did rush for 2,105 yards that year — in a 16-game season.  Someone else rushed for 2,003 yards ten years earlier — in a 14-game season, and with a better yards-per-game average (143) than both Dickerson and Peterson.  And just who was this super stud?  Hmmm … recognize anyone in the mug shot below?

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The political rumor mill has it that actress Ashley Judd might run for Kentucky’s senate slot in 2014, opposite renowned double-chinned Republican Mitch McConnell.  We can just imagine Ashley’s campaign posters — and Mitch’s reaction.

Good luck, Mitch.  Seems like you’re going to need it.

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Chin Up!

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Wolf Blitzer cited a “scathing, scathing” government report about something.  Someone should tell Wolf that we can hear him — clearly, clearly — the first time he speaks.  A few more Blitzerisms from this week:

“Dr. Drew, excellent, excellent advice.”

“Much, much more of the interview in the next hour.”

“So what time did you get the confirmation of this horrible, horrible news?”

“This huge, huge tragedy.”

“The pain is clearly, clearly evident.”

“One of his former classmates says Lanza was once, was once a good kid.”

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Good Show That You Are Probably Not Watching:

Season two of The Hour on BBC America.  Problem is, it’s a serialized drama so if you’ve missed past episodes, you’re screwed if you tune in now. But this period (1950s) thriller depicting romance and intrigue among British TV-news pioneers is smart and entertaining.

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More Words and Phrases That Really Need to Go:

Oftentimes — What, you can’t just say “often”?

Showrunner — A pernicious new way of saying “producer.”

Les Miz — Listen up, Broadway Biff.  Not everyone is a theater fanatic.  Call it what Victor Hugo called it:  Les Miserables.

Presser (press conference) — Dammit, not all of us are news junkies.

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Arrogant Quotes of the Week:

“I don’t want to be doing a Topaz or a Buddy Buddy.” — Quentin Tarantino, contemplating retirement and disparaging the later works of legendary directors Alfred Hitchcock and Billy Wilder.  Someone should remind this foot-loving weirdo that Hitchcock made the classic Frenzy when he was 72.

“There’s people smoking right now.  No smoking!  If you love me, then don’t smoke. You’re looking right at me and smoking cigarettes, like I’m a stupid fucking idiot.” — Moral authority Madonna lecturing her smoking fans, in the great outdoors, at Chile’s National Stadium.

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Yes, what happened in Connecticut was tragic, and yes, it was horrifying.  However …

1)  The media needs to ease up.  If this shooting had occurred in, say, inner-city Detroit, we’d already be back to non-stop coverage of the “fiscal cliff.”  But Newtown, Connecticut fits the demographic that Big Media loves:  white, affluent, and privileged.

2)  For years, we were told how powerful this Washington lobby was, and how difficult it would be for politicians to defy this special-interest group and pass legislation against its wishes.  I am referring, of course, to the tobacco lobby.  Please tell me, again, why everyone is so afraid of the NRA.

3)  The media insists on painting heroes and villains.  A kid can’t be mentally ill; he must be “evil.”  A dead woman can’t be a victim; she must be a “hero.”  I am sure there were some heroes in Newtown, and the shooter might or might not have been “evil,” but I wasn’t on the scene — and neither was the media.

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There is just … something about John Kerry’s chin.

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Awful Music from South of the Border

God bless American music.  I was reminded of this not once, but twice this week.

Mexican-American singer Jenni Rivera was killed in a plane crash.  I’d never heard of her, but TV news made sure that I heard plenty of her music.  It sounded like most Mexican music:  like time-traveling to 1955 Nebraska and listening to Uncle Slim’s barnyard polka band.

This Korean dude, PSY (above), apologized profusely for making inflammatory remarks about America — ten years ago. Gee, you don’t suppose that this nitwit, who skyrocketed to fame with a silly YouTube video, sensed that his big shot at American super-bucks was slipping away, do you?

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Wolf Blitzer:  “Piers Morgan had the three amigos for a taping here in Washington.”

Joe Lieberman:  “On this one, we were going to prove that the three amigos can disagree and still be amigos.”

What is this “three amigos” crap?  Do CNN and Lieberman think that Lieberman, John McCain and Lindsey Graham are some sort of boy band?  Or worse, movie superheroes?  You aren’t fooling anyone.  We know what you are:  three wealthy, self-satisfied, old guys in Congress.

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“We have new information now about why Nelson Mandela is in the hospital.” — Scott Pelley on CBS.  Mandela is 94.  It would be news if he wasn’t in the hospital.

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Quentin Tarantino has a new movie coming out.  Tarantino is the Moe Howard of film directors.  What he does, he does well.  But what he does is stupid.

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Bill O’Reilly continues to churn out historical bestsellers, but I have no desire to read them.  If I’m going to learn about Lincoln or Kennedy, I’ll read a book written by an actual scholar, not some clownish blowhard on Fox News.

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Conservative fat cats have migrated to O’Reilly’s show for a collective crying jag, reacting like petulant babies because they might be asked to contribute their fair share of taxes.  These guys always mention how much in taxes the rich already pay, but they never mention how much of the country’s wealth they possess.

“I’m a guy out here thinking, wow, this is the first time in my 59 years I’ve got a president who I believe actively dislikes people like me.” — Dennis Miller, above, who just wants to be liked, gosh darn it.

“We should stop saying ‘tax the rich’ and say ‘tax the successful,’ because I’m not rich, I’m successful.” — Adam Carolla, above.  Yes, and those Wall Street bankers who screwed over investors and the nation a few years ago were also “successful.”  But millionaire tax cheats are hard to catch; it’s much easier to blow a fuse over some deadbeat dad in Des Moines, right Adam?

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“If you’d shut up for just a second, I would try–“ — Ditzy Texas Rep. Eddie Bernice Johnson, just before being interrupted by Fox fat boy Neil Cavuto.

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This is an official still from the upcoming movie, RED 2, starring Bruce Willis, Mary-Louise Parker, and John Malkovich.  It begs the question … what in the hell is wrong with Malkovich’s legs???

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)