The Grouchy Editor

21May

The Imposter

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Pardon my French, but what the fuck?

Sorry about that, but that’s the best way to describe The Imposter, an acclaimed documentary from British filmmaker Bart Layton that tells the story of … well, let me try to explain:

In 1994, 13-year-old Nicholas Barclay vanished from his neighborhood in San Antonio, Texas. A little over three years later, “Nicholas,” who would then have been 16, resurfaced — in Spain. But the typical American teen now had a French accent, darker hair, and eyes that were no longer blue, but brown.

Nicholas’s family, apparently overjoyed at the reappearance of the boy, flew him home to Texas and welcomed him back into their lives. This, despite the fact that “Nicholas” was in reality a 23-year-old Frenchman named Frederic Bourdin, a con artist extraordinaire. This is the point where you, dear reader, will be forgiven for also thinking, “What the fuck?”

Layton’s movie, utilizing dramatizations and interviews with actual participants in the bizarre saga, makes it clear that a hoax is afoot. But aside from the charismatic Bourdin, was anyone else in on the con? Something’s not right about the San Antonio family. And whatever became of the real Nicholas?

The Imposter chronicles two incredible stories — one about Bourdin and the other about the enigmatic Texans — that, through sheer coincidence, merged in Texas. If you think you know human nature, this movie will make you think again. Grade: A-

Director: Bart Layton Featuring: Frederic Bourdin, Carey Gibson, Bryan Gibson, Beverly Dollarhide, Nancy Fisher, Phillip French, Codey Gibson, Charlie Parker, Adam O’Brian Release: 2012

Watch Trailers (click here)

18May

The Weekly Review: May 12 – 18

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Time will tell which of the issues assailing President Obama are genuine “scandals,” and which are much ado about nothing, but for my money the story that seems to be generating the least public outrage — Justice Department spying on AP journalists — is the most serious. Obama is saying, in essence, that because he can’t control leaks in his own administration, it’s OK to pretty much destroy an entire news organization. So much for that media “love affair” with the president.

*****

Mayors Just Wanna Have Fun!

Hi! I’m Rob and I’m the mayor of Toronto. Some people say there is a video that shows me smoking crack with drug dealers. Do I look like I’d do something like that?

Hi, I’m Jerry, and I was the mayor of Jersey City. Some time ago, some pesky Hispanic girls yanked off my towel at three o’clock in the morning, and then some jerk took this picture of me. Do you, too, have problems with pesky Hispanic girls?

Hi, I’m Anthony, and I’d love to be the next mayor of New York City. If you’d like to be on my mailing list, just send me your e-mail address, and I’ll see what I can do!

*****

Competing media jumped all over the New York Post when it published a front-page picture of two “bag men” who turned out to have nothing to do with the Boston bombings. Last week, that same media — all of them — splashed front-page mug shots of Ariel Castro’s brothers, who police say had nothing to do with the Cleveland kidnappings.

*****

Meet Sean, 37, a handsome former lieutenant in the U.S. Navy who could be the man of your dreams! Sean is looking for a few good women … and the police are looking for Sean!

Sean!

*****

Hi, I’m Fred and I work for BP. Sure, we might have fouled the Gulf of Mexico, but we’re spending millions to make sure our commercials look really pretty for you!

*****

Hi, I’m Bob. One of my satisfied customers is named O.J. I helped him make a killing, now let me help you!

*****

Hi, I’m Natalie. As a parent, I’m concerned about what my children see on TV. As a viewer, you should be concerned about what my nasal, annoying voice is doing to you!

*****

Who needs those damn vampire movies when we have CBS’ Survivor?

*****

And you thought the wigs worn by spies on The Americans were ridiculous?

*****

This ad popped up on my home page. Please, folks, do not assume that this man represents a typical Minnesotan. I beg it of you.

11May

The Weekly Review: May 5 – 11

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Video of the Week:

Charles Ramsey showing his dishwashing paycheck to CNN’s Anderson Cooper, who was born with a very clean silver spoon in his mouth.

*****

Quote of the Week:

“I’ve been on a remarkable personal journey.” — South Carolina’s Mark Sanford.

That’s funny, because we thought you just got horny and cheated on your wife.

*****

“Why are we so obsessed with this case?” — Piers Morgan on Wednesday, voicing the same dumb question that journalists ask every time there’s a sensational trial.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Jodi Arias trial had sex, religion, and violence. But I think another reason we tune in is because it’s a great opportunity to watch people lie under oath. That means we get to exercise our bullshit detectors.

Arias, for example, whom everyone describes as a great liar, seems to have been anything but, because she kept getting busted. A better liar was “good boy” Travis Alexander, the Mormon motivational speaker who had lots of people fooled about his kinky sex life. And then there was the procession of expert witnesses, some of whom were either very stupid or expert liars.

My favorite liar is HLN’s Nancy Grace (above), who is always out for blood and yet ready at a moment’s notice to shed crocodile tears for victims’ families. I wouldn’t be surprised if Arias chose a Fox News affiliate for her post-conviction interview as one final “fuck you” to HLN and Grace.

*****

Pretty amusing to watch Bill O’Reilly and his pals continue to fume over the public’s lack of interest in the Benghazi incident. Bill can’t seem to grasp that many of us are still waiting to see someone punished for the lies and cover-ups that led us into Iraq. Thousands died in Iraq; four died in Benghazi. Understand, Bill?

*****

We saw live footage of astronauts doing a spacewalk at the International Space Station. The video was grainy and choppy, like what you see on local news when robbers invade your neighborhood convenience store.

I will never understand how we can land robots on Mars and propel capsules beyond the solar system, yet these spacewalk videos still look like something your Uncle Stan shot at Sally June’s birthday party.

05May

Reviews in Short: May 2013

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Sun Don’t Shine

On-the-lam movies can be fun — but only if you care about the people on the lam. In Sun Don’t Shine, Kate Lyn Sheil and Kentucker Audley play young lovers sweating it out in Florida because there’s something in the trunk of their car, but a decomposing body isn’t what made me nauseous. That would be Sheil, who, as the clingy, whiny, emotionally stunted female half of this not-so-dynamic duo, gives one of the most annoying performances of the year. Release: 2012 Grade: D

*****

Swimming Pool

Until it goes off the deep end, Swimming Pool is a sleek erotic thriller about the murderous results when an uptight British novelist finds herself sharing a summer house with her boss’s promiscuous young daughter. Charlotte Rampling, as the repressed writer, and Ludivine Sagnier, as her wild-and-crazy opposite, regard each other like the proverbial cat and canary — but which is which? It’s smooth and sexy, but the final scenes are either deliciously ambiguous or a groan-inducing cheat. You decide. Release: 2003 Grade: B

*****

Sightseers

A nerdy British couple (as part of their holiday, they schedule a stop at a pencil museum) decides to enliven their road trip with road kill — literally. If the concept of dull tourists as serial killers is clever enough to sustain you for 90 minutes, then knock yourself out, mate, but for me the plot and characters failed to live up to that amusing premise. Release: 2013 Grade: C

*****

Wasted on the Young

A familiar tale — high school bullies, the rich and popular kids, make life hellish for other students — is told with originality and flair by Australian filmmaker Ben C. Lucas. It’s not an uplifting story, but Lucas’s decision to leave adults out of the film works well, immersing the viewer in a nightmarish, but riveting, teenage society. Release: 2010 Grade: B

04May

The Weekly Review: April 28 – May 4

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Mommie Dearest

Mother’s Day is just around the corner! It seems to us that society does a poor job of celebrating these national treasures. In case any of you have forgotten just how special motherhood is, here’s a gallery of some memorable moms:

Klara Hitler Andrea Yates

Joyce Dahmer Casey Anthony

Joan Crawford Susan Smith

So just remember: If you, too, are lucky enough to have sex with a man and, nine months later, you squirt out a Homo sapien, then you, too, are well on your way to becoming a special someone!

*****

TV Update

Speaking of madcap mothers … Orphan Black (BBC America) is confusing but kind of fun. Tatiana Maslany plays five clones — or possibly six, or maybe more than that — who are on the run from someone out to get her — or them. It takes place in Canada, or someplace like that. But it’s a trip.

Bates Motel (A&E) is much better than I expected. Freddie Highmore makes a fine, teenage Norman Bates, but Vera Farmiga, as mom Norma, is out of this world.

Both Black and Bates are about as realistic as a Martian invasion, but if you’re willing to buy into their bizarre worlds, they are wicked good.

More New Shows: Inside Amy Schumer (Comedy Central) — possibly funny if you are a young, single woman; vulgar and lame if you are not. Maron (IFC) — possibly amusing if you are a middle-aged, single man; a poor man’s Louie if you are not.

*****

I finally saw Tarantino’s Django Unchained. My verdict: way too long, painfully dull, self-indulgent and juvenile. But Samuel L. Jackson kicks ass.

*****

The Jodi Arias trial is wrapping up, and Arias sure does seem guilty — especially to the carnival barkers on HLN. HLN long ago dumped any pretense of objectivity when its clutch of show anchors chose to follow the lead of frothing-at-the-mouth Nancy Grace. If avenging nutcase Grace walked past Jesus on the cross, she would demand that he be charged with loitering.

*****

Recently, I praised TLC’s Welcome to Myrtle Manor, pointing out the inherent sweetness of its trailer-park cast. As you can see below, the Myrtle folks now have a lot in common with that other America’s Sweetheart, Reese Witherspoon.

02May

Plutocrats

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by Chrystia Freeland

Plutocrats is the type of book you suspect will make you angry before you turn a single page. The subtitle alone is hackle-raising: The Rise of the New Global Super-Rich and the Fall of Everyone Else. The fall of “everyone else”? This book probably will piss you off – but don’t blame the messenger.

Freeland, a financial journalist, makes the case that there is alarming income inequality in most countries – but you probably already knew that. She interviews a laundry list of the ultra-rich, determines how these men (almost always men) rose to the top, and speculates on what it all means for “everyone else,” i.e., the 99 percent. Is vast income disparity the inevitable result of capitalism? Is it possible that the wealth chasm is actually a good thing?

Plutocrats documents how the actions of Big Business are benefiting, if not the American middle class, then certainly new middle classes in emerging world markets such as China and India. It’s hard to argue that that’s a bad thing.

But our billionaires and millionaires are not exactly selfless. Many of them, particularly in the United States, feel victimized by government regulation and taxes, and they don’t understand why they are increasingly demonized by the 99 percent. They do contribute to charity, but those contributions treat the symptoms of inequality, not the problem itself.

Freeland doesn’t come right out and say it, but she implies that only government can place checks on Wall Street and corporate America. That might be anathema to conservatives and libertarians, but after events of the past five years, isn’t it common sense to everyone else? Apparently not, for as Freeland writes:

“That’s the irony of superstar economics in a democratic age. We all think we can be superstars, but in a winner-take-all economy, there isn’t room for most of us at the top.”

27Apr

The Weekly Review: April 21 – 27

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Gwyneth Paltrow Week!

It was quite a week for Gwyneth, who topped both Star magazine’s “Most Hated Celebrity” and People magazine’s “Most Beautiful People” lists.

I can’t get too excited for Gwyneth because, to me, she is a bit of a has-been whose most memorable role was as the severed head in Se7en (below), followed closely by her turn as some shapely buttocks in Shallow Hal (above — assuming they are not stunt buttocks). It’s a tough call to say which was the better performance, so I’ll have to flip a coin: heads or tails?

*****

Quote of the Week #1

“The guy who was stripped naked and then later set free, do we have any idea who he was?” — CNN’s Jake Tapper to Watertown’s police captain

The captain didn’t know. I’ve been wondering about the naked guy. That’s certainly a unique way to be introduced to the national news media, getting escorted to a police car with your junk exposed.

*****

Travis Alexander’s ex-girlfriend, Deanna Reid, took the stand at the Jodi Arias trial. Her appearance might have explained a thing or two about Alexander’s fatal attraction to Arias. If you were Travis Alexander, who would you choose?

The Travis Alexander Girlfriend Quiz:

A) Girl who wants to marry you, or … B) Homicidal maniac

*****

Quote of the Week #2

“Did he talk to you about blowing enormous loads every time?” — Arias attorney Kurt Nurmi to poor Deanna Reid. HLN’s censor was apparently asleep at the wheel.

*****

20Apr

The Weekly Review: April 14 – 20

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Wanted?

“He was a complete jerk.”

“He frightened all of the children in the neighborhood.”

“When you saw him coming, you just wanted to deliver a good, swift kick to his ass.”

Those are comments you never hear about people like the Boston bombers (or serial killers). Instead, we usually hear about what nice, quiet, unassuming fellows they were.

That is why society ought to celebrate the jerks in our midst, like the sweet man pictured above. Jerks are generally harmless and always mean well. We– er, they never cause problems.

*****

Events this week did not bring out the best in Fox’s Bill O’Reilly. Within hours of the Boston bombing, O’Reilly was politicizing it, chastising President Obama for using the word “tragedy” to describe the attack.

O’Reilly loves to spring unusual words on his audience, but apparently he needs a definition of this simple, seven-letter word:

Even more distressing for O’Reilly, archenemy MSNBC showed up Fox (and CNN) by exhibiting restraint during Wednesday’s erroneous reports of the arrest of a suspect. O’Reilly refused to acknowledge this embarrassment and chose to credit CBS — but not MSNBC — with a journalistic win.

*****

The Game was on cable. It’s about the only movie I can watch, repeatedly, and laugh out loud with each viewing. Michael Douglas’s performance as a harried business honcho is a comic masterpiece.

*****

I was so bored that I actually watched golf on television. I’ve never understood why fans on the golf course are expected to watch the competition in absolute silence. Same thing with tennis. Player concentration, you say? OK, then why aren’t fans shushed when a basketball player is at the free-throw line, trying to concentrate on a game-deciding shot?

*****

Word that needs to be banished from the advertising lexicon because it no longer means anything: awesome.

*****

Quote of the Week:

“To be truly feminine means being soft, receptive, and — look out, here it comes — submissive.” — volleyball star Gabrielle Reece

No comment.

19Apr

Rectify

Posted in Books, Movies, TV & Web, TV | 1 Comment

Sundance Channel could use a better publicist. If you browse entertainment Web sites, you’ll find story after story about new series launches by Netflix, Amazon, and Hulu. There is much excitement over the brave new world of scripted programming by and for the Internet.

Meanwhile, with little fanfare and a “buzz” only your dog could detect, Sundance is also venturing into series television, and it’s offering some shows worth crowing about. On the heels of Top of the Lake, which concluded last week, Sundance on Monday premieres Rectify, a compelling, character-driven drama about an ex-con’s attempt to reassimilate into his Georgia hometown.

Aden Young stars as Daniel Holden, a man convicted of murder whose sentence is “vacated” after DNA evidence calls his original conviction into question. Holden has spent the better part of two decades on Death Row, and moving back into his mother’s house proves as difficult for him as it is for other residents of Paulie, Georgia — some of whom remain convinced of Holden’s guilt and won’t be satisfied until he’s returned to jail.

Rectify moves at a leisurely tempo, but it’s absorbing because what matters in this tale is character reaction: How will Daniel’s younger brother, a regular teen who is into girls and movies, interact with an older sibling who is familiar with prison rape but has never seen a DVD? Will the prosecutor-turned-politician who put Daniel behind bars let bygones be bygones? Why does Daniel’s own mother seem so guarded in his presence?

This kind of drama doesn’t work if the actors aren’t intriguing, but happily that’s not an issue with Rectify. Young and Abigail Spencer, as Daniel’s combative sister Amantha, are especially good at balancing the story’s heavier elements with some choice, fish-out-of-water comedy. And Rectify’s production design is more like what you find in theatrical films than on cable television. Grade: B+

Cast: Aden Young, Abigail Spencer, Michael O’Neill, Hal Holbrook, Clayne Crawford, Bruce McKinnon, J. Smith-Cameron, Adelaide Clemens, Luke Kirby Premieres: April 22, 2013

Watch Trailers and Clips (click here)

13Apr

The Weekly Review: April 7 – 13

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20-Second Gripes

1: If North Korea’s Kim Jong-un is as immature and hyper-sensitive as some experts seem to believe, maybe all of this satire by The Onion, Saturday Night Live, et al, isn’t such a great idea.

2: Jimmy Fallon “interviewed” Rolling Stone Keith Richards and allowed Richards to actually speak for about 45 seconds. Is it too late to rehire Leno?

3: When I get up in the morning (or sometime), the first thing I do (OK, second thing, after the cigarette) is turn on cable news. This, I’ve come to believe, is a mistake. Some people get up and listen to music. That has to be a healthier, happier way to greet the new day.

4: Nightly cable news personalities, compared to the blithering idiots on morning talk shows, are a wealth of Mensa candidates. Anderson Cooper, for example, apparently takes a stupid pill at some point between hosting his evening program on CNN and taping the syndicated crap he presides over during the day.

*****

Nice try, CNN. You watched The Five on Fox, envied its ratings, studied its setup, and then devised your own camera-under-the-table-aimed-at-sexy-women’s-legs. Sadly, The Point got the shaft.

*****

Quotes of the Week (courtesy of HLN and Jodi Arias)

Eiglarsh Walsh

“She killed someone. She murdered someone. So this, to me, is a pimple on the butt of what she’s dealing with.” — attorney Mark Eiglarsh, about Arias using Twitter

“There’s something else I want to point out about this and other phone-sex conversations that I’ve heard between them [Arias and Travis Alexander]. You know, I’m a grown-up woman. I’ve had some much better phone sex in my life.” — psychotherapist Wendy Walsh

*****

Thanks to the Jodi Arias trial, the blogosphere is discussing Cameron Diaz’s panties. That’s a good enough excuse to run this picture of Cameron Diaz in panties.

*****

The Huffington Post is still in search of a few good editors. Unless, of course, the Post has unearthed evidence that O’Reilly is is, indeed indeed, a victorious homosexual.