The Grouchy Editor

 

We watched The Loft on Netflix – just a so-so thriller. But it was encouraging to see that gratuitous nudity is still a thing in mainstream movies. Above, Aussie actress Isabel Lucas moons us, for no apparent reason.

 

*****

 

Apparently this happened last week, and somehow, we missed it:

 

 

It does raise an interesting question: Will Hillary and Bernie be allowed to spank Anderson if they don’t like his questions when he moderates next week’s debate?

 

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The Huffington Post is still seeking a good proofreader:

 

 

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We’re waiting for the National Hurricane Center to announce a “Hurricane Muhammad.” You don’t suppose anyone will object, do you?

 

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This won’t come as news to actor Ebon Moss-Bachrach, pictured below with Girls star Allison Williams.

 

 

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Scream Queens

 

The premiere of Ryan Murphy’s latest series was amusing, with some very clever bits – especially the texting-murder scene, which was brilliant.

But I’ll be shocked if advocates for the deaf aren’t howling over the depiction of one deaf character. Or perhaps they are howling, and I just can’t hear it.

 

 

*****

 

 

Conan O’Brien raised hackles over a joke about Fox News bimbos, in particular Jenna Lee (above: “Fox News Anchor or Porn Star?”).

“This trashy comment is not only inappropriate, it’s clearly ridiculous,” sniffed Lee.

It’s a familiar complaint from the offended Lee, much like what we hear from aging Hollywood actresses: Yes, I climbed the ladder to stardom on the strength of my sex appeal, but listen up young women – it’s wrong and you shouldn’t do what I did.

 

*****

 

 

From Ben Tracy’s report on diversity in Hollywood for CBS Evening News – “Just 13 percent of female characters on television are African-American. 78 percent are white.”

How dreadful, especially since, according to the U.S. Census for 2014, African Americans constitute … 13 percent of the population.

 

*****

 

 

I’m not sure which is more embarrassing, watching John Boehner blubber like a gin-soaked infant, or watching the American media gush over the pope like teenage girls at a Beatles concert. Too bad there’s no “separation of church and media” in our Constitution.

 

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Does Your Face Hurt? Because It’s …

 

“I think I know when someone’s flirting with me.” – Carly Fiorina, above, responding with good humor to Donald Trump’s insults about her face. In Trump World, Bernie Sanders is Mr. Magoo, and Fiorina is, apparently, Mr. Ed.

 

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**

 

 

I’m not a big Rolling Stones fan, but I’ve found a kindred soul in Keith Richards, who trashed heavy metal and rap music. Richards is correct. Heavy metal is like a screeching cat, all volume and discordant noise, and rap is a monotonous metronome, all beat and no melody. Now get off my lawn.

 

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First impression of Stephen Colbert’s late-night gig:  too much mugging and silliness, not enough good writing or wit. Colbert’s interviews aren’t bad, but his monologues seem aimed at 12-year-olds.

 

*****

 

“Social media thrives on divisiveness.” – author Jonathan Franzen, whining about our digital habits.

The people who complain most vociferously about social media are celebrities. It reminds me of the carping from traditional Hollywood when reality TV began to dominate the airwaves 15 years ago. Actors and writers felt threatened by competition from amateurs popping up on shows like American Idol and Survivor. Similarly, people with social clout, like Jonathan Franzen, are used to setting the tone of American culture, and they aren’t happy when Twitter and YouTube spawn competition.

 

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A Canadian bimbo named Nicole Arbour rattled the Internet with a fat-shaming video. On one hand, Arbour’s YouTube rant is vulgar and mean-spirited. On the second hand, I don’t shed tears for the overweight because the overweight didn’t shed tears for me when, as a smoker, I was taxed and banned into near-oblivion. On the third hand — because don’t we all have three hands? — here are naked pictures of Arbour from a low-budget movie called, fittingly, Silent But Deadly.

 

 

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Politics in the Twilight Zone

 

We’ve grown accustomed to bizarre behavior from our Fearless Leaders, especially during election season, but every time we turned on the news this week, it felt like Rod Serling was writing the script:

 

 

The Boston Globe did a taped interview with Elizabeth Warren, above, after her well-publicized meeting with Vice President Joe Biden. At first we thought we were watching Warren do a cameo for a sitcom, or perhaps appearing in a Saturday Night Live skit.

 

The Globe guy would ask a reasonable question, Warren would dodge the question — and the audience would then erupt in what sounded like canned sitcom laughter. It was like they were watching Roseanne and Dan squabble at the kitchen table over Darlene’s latest shenanigans. Very strange.

 

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Famous Catholic Joe Biden gave a speech wearing a yarmulke. Very odd.

 

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Bug-eyed Harris Faulkner sued Hasbro for $5 million because the toy company produced a “Harris Faulkner” hamster. Very weird.

 

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Lanny Davis was exposed in the Clinton e-mails as the most shameless butt kisser in Washington. Here are excerpts from a Lanny e-mail to his queen, in which he pleads for Her Majesty to say nice things about Lanny to a reporter doing a story about him:

 

My dear friend Hillary:

I hate to email you too much and to ask you for any favors. I feel as if I am taking advantage of a great privilege that you allow me to send you a personal email every so often.

Please please please (note there are three pleases): Do not be bashful or concerned about saying no to my request.

I didn’t want you to feel badly if you have to say no. But then again. The honest to goodness truth is: Aside from Carolyn, my four children, and my immediate family, I consider you to be the best friend and the best person I have met in my long life. You know that from the dedication and appreciation of you I have always felt and expressed to you over four decades.

Best and warmest regards,

Lanny

 

All of this weirdness almost makes Trump seem normal. Almost.

 

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We here at Grouchy Editor sincerely appreciate reader comments, especially when they are as incisive and topical as this one:

 

 

 

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

Trump

 

Would I vote for him for president? Not likely. He seems emotionally unstable, like a thin-skinned rich kid who holds grudges and allows anger to cloud his judgment. I don’t want that kid anywhere near “the button.”

Am I glad he’s in the race? Oh hell, yeah. He’s a breath of fresh air — or more accurately, a blast of foul wind — forcing the political and media elite to run for cover. Beltway blowhards are too fat, smug, and happy, and Trump has them jumping.

 

*****

 

 

I tried to make it through a single episode of WAGS on E!, but I lacked the intestinal fortitude. I could try to describe just how putrid this reality show about pro jocks’ wives and girlfriends (“WAGS” – get it?) truly is, but frankly, I don’t want to think about it anymore.

If you must read a review, here’s a good one at The Daily Beast.

 

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

Politics!

 

I look at the picture above and I hear: “Just hand me the damn crown already so I can stop mingling with the riffraff. Let the little people eat pork chops on a stick!”

 

**

 

 

“I have said I am open to exploring ways to looking at people that are deliberately coming here for purposes of having a child.” – Marco Rubio, above, discussing “anchor babies” on Bill O’Reilly’s show.

“Open to exploring ways” – with bold, principled proposals like that, is it any wonder that voters are flocking to the guy who wants to build a fence?

 

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I was channel surfing during The Donald’s Alabama speech, but I had to stop watching MSNBC’s coverage, which kept interrupting Trump mid-speech whenever Poindexter, above, disagreed with something Trump said. I guess MSNBC wanted us to watch Trump’s speech (ratings), but not listen to what he had to say (blasphemy).

 

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If I hear Trump describe Bush (resting above) as “low energy” one more time, I’m going to start picturing Bush this way:

 

 

 

Or this way:

 

 

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

TV Update

 

I’ve only seen the premiere episode, but Amazon’s romantic comedy Catastrophe (above) was anything but. I might have to subscribe to Amazon Instant Video just to watch the rest of this series and also because …

It might be time to dump Netflix.

 

 

Netflix’s Wet Hot American Summer (above) has a 91 percent “fresh” rating from the nation’s TV critics on Rotten Tomatoes. Having suffered through three episodes of this lame, juvenile series, I’ve lost all respect for 91 percent of the nation’s TV critics — and for Netflix.

 

Rectify just concluded its third season on SundanceTV. Rectify gets abysmal ratings. No one watches it. But if there is one show I’d recommend to a hungry binge-watcher, it’s Rectify.

 

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When I was a kid, I was hooked on Creepy magazine, which featured the most morbid-looking adults imaginable. Below, four Creepy characters and one NFL quarterback. Can you spot Tom Brady?

 

 

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LOL!

 

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

I thought MAD magazine stopped being funny decades ago – or when I finally grew up, whichever came first – but this new cover is awesome.

 

*****

 

Normally, I can’t watch MSNBC’s Chris Matthews without holding an umbrella, due to the voluminous spittle he ejects, but I thought Matthews did a great job summing up Donald Trump’s appeal at the end of his Tuesday show (41-minute mark).

 

*****

 

Gee, I wonder how The Huffington Post really feels about Trump?

 

 

And gosh, I wonder how The Donald really feels about the pundits?

 

 

 

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Thought I would check out Bing’s language translator:

 

 

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

Every father’s nightmare: Your little girl grows up and wants to play football, like Arizona coach Jen Welter, number 47 above … and then some hulking defensive end sees the opportunity to vise-squeeze her ass.

 

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*****

 

 

I’m sorry, Jimmy, but your crying jag over this was downright embarrassing.

 

*****

 

 

Let me say a few negative things about the soon-to-depart Jon Stewart. I’m Negative Nancy not because I disagree with Stewart’s politics (mostly, I agree with him), but because I’ve never found him especially amusing, and I think his influence, though substantial, is mostly confined to the Beltway.

In 2004, I knew next to nothing about Stewart, and so I bought his book, Naked Pictures of Famous People. Here are excerpts from my review: “Unlike contemporaries Dennis Miller and Bill Maher, Stewart’s brand of humor just doesn’t seem to translate well to the printed page. The humor all too often falls flat … the essays … seem more like childish temper tantrums than genuine displays of wit.”

Presumably, Stewart wrote his own book. Presumably, he has a team of writers at Comedy Central. Even so, The Daily Show has never had impressive ratings. Politicians and media types dig it because politicians and media types enjoy watching themselves on TV – even if what they hear is negative.

 

*****

 

 

I’m confused — is this something that we should be alarmed about?

 

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Want to work for Fox News? Follow Jedediah Bila’s example and put pictures like these on your application.

 

 

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)