The Grouchy Editor

 

I miss Craig Ferguson.

I don’t watch late-night talk shows anymore. Not since Ferguson left and not since Kimmel, Fallon, Meyers, and Corden showed their true colors as leftist suck-ups and sellouts.

For all I know, Ferguson is also a true-blue progressive. But the thing is, he was an equal-opportunity celebrity basher. Possibly because he was an “outsider” (Scottish turned American citizen), Ferguson brought a fresh perspective to American political humor.

Plus, he was more entertaining than the clowns who pollute late-night these days.

Come back, Craig. We need you.

Unless, of course, I’m wrong about you and you were just disguising your “wokeness.”

 

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Thanks to A.I. and deep fakes, this could be true, or it could be bogus.

Fucking A.I.

 

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Stone Ridge Creamery Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream. I recommend it.

In the 13-year history of this Web site, I have never pitched a food product. But I am now.

That should tell you how strongly I feel about this.

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

Biden does his thing

 

Putin bonding with his people

 

Russia’s leader kisses a little boy’s bare belly, the Dalai Lama tries to tongue a kid, and Joe Biden creeps on little girls.

With this kind of “leadership,” is it any wonder that so many people think it’s fine if grown men in thongs twerk their sweaty butts in the faces of children?

 

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I used to have mixed feelings about government leakers like Edward Snowden and Julian Assange. Not anymore.

Now that we understand the level of corruption in the Deep State, the military and intelligence communities, what we need is more whistleblowers, not fewer.

 

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Here’s a litmus test to discern which Fox News hosts are establishment lackeys, and which are pro-regular people: observe how they cover this online leak about Ukraine.

Tucker Carlson emphasized the lies we’ve been told about Ukraine — by Biden, the military, and hawks in general — while Neil Cavuto had his panties in a bunch about the 21-year-old leaker. When Cavuto guest John Ratcliffe tried to steer the conversation to those lies (“The Biden administration was misleading the American people”), Cavuto quickly changed the subject back to the leaker.

Yes, fatso establishment boy Cavuto sucks.

 

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Speaking of fatso Cavuto, there’s nothing like watching him and fellow fatso Karl Rove whine about Donald Trump ads that insult fatsos Chris Christie and Bill Barr. “This stuff has gotta stop,” Cavuto huffed. “Let’s slim it down,” said Rove.

The only problem, which neither Cavuto nor Rove brought up, is that Trump himself is a fatso.

 

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I’m sorry, French protestors, because I’m sure Emmanuel Macron and his government are just as corrupt as ours. However … as an American who doesn’t qualify for full retirement until the age of 67, it’s hard for me to summon much empathy for you having to work until age 64. Especially when you expect us to pick up most of the tab for NATO — your national security — while you enjoy weeks and weeks of vacation time.

 

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There’s no other way to describe it: Tim Pool’s live podcast Friday from Austin, Texas was an unmitigated disaster. The sound was inconsistent and often unintelligible, the picture was crap, and after 45 minutes of suffering through the production, I had to stop watching because it was, well, unwatchable.

Too bad, because Pool had a pretty good lineup of guests: Alex Jones, Blaire White, Michael Malice, and Alex Stein. But if Pool wants to keep taking his show on the road, he’s going to have to suck it up and hire some professional technicians who know what they’re doing.

You’re never going to win the culture war if your podcast resembles a third-grade talent show.

 

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The Bud Light controversy brings to mind the infamous “Heidi Bowl” of 1968. Remember that one? In the closing minutes of a tight game between the New York Jets and Oakland Raiders, NBC decided to cut away from the cliffhanger so that a scheduled showing of Heidi would not be delayed. Bad decision. Outrage ensued.

Fast forward to 2023 and Anheuser-Busch’s decision to align top-selling Bud Light with weirdo Dylan Mulvaney.

Great move by the marketing executive pictured above. I mean, who better to understand the tastes of beer-swilling (mostly) male customers than a privileged, woke, young white woman? If only the Neanderthals could be exposed to dress-wearing, TikTokking Mulvaney, surely they would see how fun he is and raise a toast to their new role model — right?

 

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© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

War Sailor

 

Three cheers for Norway!

I’ve often wondered why it is always Sweden (Wallander, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) and Denmark (Borgen, The Killing) that dominate “prestige” shows from Scandinavia, while neighboring Norway seems to settle for cult stuff like 2009’s Dead Snow, a horror comedy about zombie Nazis. That’s right: zombie Nazis.

War Sailor, a three-hour movie-turned-miniseries now streaming on Netflix, is the anti-Dead Snow. The recipe is this: Take some Deer Hunter, toss in a bit of Casablanca and The Best Years of Our Lives, and add three stellar performances from the lead actors. The result?  The best thing from Norway since lefse. (Look it up.)

 

Left to right: Pal Sverre Hagen, Ine Marie Wilmann, Kristoffer Joner

 

The plot: At the dawn of World War II, two lifelong friends sign up for an 18-month stint on a Norwegian merchant ship. When Germany occupies Norway, their voyage stretches into years of separation from friends and family in Bergen.

The first two episodes are heavy on action and suspense (very good) while the final hour is pure heartbreaking drama (magnificent). The entire production looks and sounds great, and actors Kristoffer Joner, Ine Marie Wilmann, and Pal Sverre Hagen turn in unforgettable performances.

Zombie Nazis, my ass.

 

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I am bewildered by Jordan Peterson’s YouTube presence. Are there YouTubers who enjoy posting thumbnails of the venerable Canadian that consistently make him appear tearful to downright suicidal?

I’ve never seen so many mournful, hangdog, despondent, just-shoot-me-now-and-put-me-out-of-my-misery images of an individual.

And then there are the apocalyptic headlines ….

 

 

Makes me want to send Peterson a box of lefse.

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

If there was any question about whether we are on the verge of a civil war, this Trump indictment by a crooked tub of lard in New York … well. It’s obvious we are not on the verge of a civil war; we are smack-dab in the middle of one.

 

Baby Boomers have always been a messy bunch (I am one of them). As we head out the door, we are leaving Millennials and Gen Z with the ultimate mess.

You’re welcome.

 

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Are arrested people allowed to flip the bird at the camera in their mugshots? If not, too bad, because that would be an appropriate look for Trump.

 

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I wonder when the woke police will get around to more modern writers. You know, writers like …

 

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

In gripping courtroom testimony, actress Gwyneth Paltrow this week described her first date with jailed movie producer Harvey Weinstein. Here is a sampling of the emotional exchange between the actress and a lawyer: *

 

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Men

 

Jessie Buckley plays a woman who moves to an English hamlet, where she encounters increasingly, uh, bizarre males.

I considered writing a review of this British horror film, but decided it’s much easier to just comment on other critics’ reviews:

 

 

Christy Lemire of RogerEbert.com gave it 3/4 stars, calling it “a visceral experience” and adding: “it reinforces [writer-director Alex] Garland’s singular prowess as a craftsman of indelible visuals and gripping mood.”

My take on Lemire’s take: “Yes.”

 

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Armond White of National Review wrote: “… Plus, it’s too absurd to substantiate the media’s fascination with ‘toxic masculinity.’”

My take on White’s take: “Yes.”

 

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Kevin Maher of The Times gave it 2/5 stars, writing: “It culminates in a protracted, effects-filled birthing sequence that manages, after 90 minutes of man-hating, to be aggressively misogynistic.”

My take on Maher’s take: “Yes.”

 

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Mark Kermode of The Observer gave the film 3/5 stars, calling it “a playfully twisted affair — not quite as profound as it seems to think, perhaps, but boasting enough squishy metaphorical slime to ensure that its musings upon textbook male characteristics are rarely dull, and sometimes deliciously disgusting.”

My take on Kermode’s take: “Yes.”

 

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By the way, audiences polled by CinemaScore gave the film an average grade of “D+” on an A+ to F scale.

 

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*Hey, if the Babylon Bee isn’t going to cover this stuff, we might as well.

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Don’t mess with these two

 

A common complaint about “reality” shows like Survivor: They aren’t real.

Outlast on Netflix might not be the real deal, either, but it certainly seems a lot more lifelike than most shows of its ilk. Rather than a bunch of Millennials lounging on a tropical beach gossiping about each other, Outlast has an ex-con heroin addict stealing sleeping bags from a competing team, the members of which must then spend a sub-freezing, rainy night at their camp in the wilds of Alaska. 

We’ve got conditions so dire that not one, but three, contestants drop out of the show in the first couple days. Oh, and the whole area is swarming with bears.

And did I mention the two female contestants (pictured above) who make Eva Braun and Lizzie Borden seem like Laverne and Shirley?

 

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After watching this awkward, delightful Oscar-night interview with Hugh Grant, I’ve decided that he is my new favorite movie star.

 

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We have to stop bailing out these banks. Let them fucking fail and if there is hell to pay, then there is hell to pay.

 

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The year 2023 — just like 2022 and 2021 — sucks. I advise that you do what I’ve been doing. Escape, if only for a few hours, to a simpler time.

I’ve been watching the 1950s Francis comedies. You remember Francis, the talking mule? Whoever was responsible for casting the series was a genius — and I’m not talking about the performing mule. Chill Wills as the gravel-voiced jackass and Donald O’Connor as the sidekick whose voice cracks like a kid at puberty, are a hoot.

For some unfathomable reason, YouTube doesn’t have the original movie (they made seven Francis movies), so I recommend Francis Goes to the Races and Francis Covers the Big Town.

 

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This is the kind of story you find in Popular Mechanics these days?

 

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

We need lawsuits — and we need them yesterday — against publishers like Amazon who are hiring snot-nosed college grads to “edit” classic books by retroactively removing “sensitive content.”

Dr. Seuss, Roald Dahl, Ian Fleming — even George Orwell, who warned us about this kind of crap — I really don’t care if their descendants are fine with “sensitivity readers” censoring these books. Leave the damn stories alone.

It’s especially egregious to alter an e-book (talking about you, Kindle) after it’s been purchased:

 

 

I suppose this means nothing is safe. Music, movies, TV shows … all of them subject to the whims of woke “editors.”

Lawsuits, please. Yesterday.

 

 

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Poker Face

 

I am going back and forth on this show. One of the early episodes, 2 or 3, had a completely arbitrary bit of MAGA-bashing, when the heroine is listening to the radio in her car. There was no narrative reason for the scene, other than to trumpet to Trump supporters: We here in Hollywood think you suck.

On the other hand, the fourth episode, with Chloe Sevigny as an aging rock star, had a truly brilliant final reveal.

 

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Scott Adams has been cancelled. OK, he’s one guy.

But if this poll about race relations that Adams was referring to is accurate, how is that not a much, much bigger story?

 

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Yup, what she said.

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

 

 

Gutfeld on Maher’s Podcast:

 

1)  I enjoyed watching the two veteran funnymen reminisce about old TV shows, old movies, and old music, probably because I am, in terms of age, a fellow traveler in their world. (I’m a bit younger than Maher, and a bit older than Gutfeld.) It was good to see longtime liberal Maher and longtime conservative Gutfeld mostly avoid politics — and completely avoid tearing each other’s throats out.

 

2)  I don’t know if it was the booze and marijuana talking, but it was a bit rich to listen to Maher expound on the secret of his success — speaking truth to power and always telling it like it is — when, in terms of our current political climate, in which nearly every entertainment institution embraces the political left, it is Gutfeld, not Maher, who is David battling Goliath.

 

3)  Maher is the wittier of the two; Gutfeld is the nicer.

 

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The Weasel and the Wuss 

 

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.                                         Weasel                                                                   Wuss

 

 

 

The problem with interviewing people like Merrick Garland (by Congress) and Christopher Wray (by Fox News) is that any topic that might prove embarrassing to them — or worse — is declared off-limits due to “ongoing investigation,” “internal protocols,” or “national security.”

On the other hand, if answering the question might put them in a positive light, they have no problem complying.

The only way to get accountability from these liars is to put them on trial.

But what are the odds of that?

 

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After two stellar seasons on Netflix, Mindhunter has been cancelled by the streaming service. That’s too bad. It was a good show. The serial-killer drama was a David Fincher project.

The problem: Season one premiered in 2017. Season two streamed in 2019. The show’s future was in limbo until now, which you might have noticed is the year 2023.

That’s a long time between seasons. With so many shows on so many channels, it’s difficult to keep track of the series you’ve watched, much less maintain any sort of “buzz” to support a favorite show’s renewal.

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

I must be getting (more) lazy. Last week, I posted short “reviews” of the political clowns we see in the news.

 

This week, I’m posting short reviews of movies and TV shows I’ve been watching.

 

The good news: Unlike the aforementioned political clowns, most of these movies and TV shows are pretty decent.

 

 

Red Rose — A British miniseries aimed at, I guess, the young-adult demographic. The twisted plot reminded me of The Game. Or The Truman Show. Or Black Mirror: bad things happening to teenagers, thanks to modern technology.

I liked the kids and the premise, but the ending was less than satisfying. Grade: B+

 

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Top Gun: Maverick — Read my review here.

 

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The Strays — Based on the plot synopsis, I was expecting super-woke dreck. But after a slow start, this British thriller about the perils of trying to ditch your past becomes … interesting. To say the least. Grade: B+

 

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M3GAN — It was … just OK. At heart it’s simply yet another evil doll movie. You know, like the “Chucky” franchise. Grade: B-

 

 

Next week — short reviews of my short reviews.

 

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Speaking of “Zelinaky,” the Ukrainian pit bull is sounding more and more like he believes he is the de facto American president. He does not just want, but is entitled, to your tax dollars.

 

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Apparently, “Libs of TikTok” are now leading our grand juries.

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Unfiltered Opinions

 

Hey, I don’t know any of these people personally. Maybe they just come off as awful human beings on TV. Their mothers probably love them. They might have pets. The following opinions are just my gut reactions to them.

There are more liberals than conservatives on this list because liberals are in power and are doing the most damage.  The scum:

 

 

Pete Buttigieg — a clueless, cowardly mother’s boy.

 

John Fetterman — a liar who gets depressed and then expects your sympathy.

 

Don Lemon — a narcissistic idiot who never had a “prime,” and never will.

 

Graham and McConnell — establishment hacks who have disdain for their constituents.

 

Kamala Harris — too stupid to have the job. Any job.

 

Biden — the biggest traitor in American history.

 

Joy Behar — a loud-mouthed fool.

 

Liberal “firsts” (gay, female, black, fill-in-the-blank) — setting back their individual “tribes” by being, in general, astoundingly incompetent.

 

Zelenskyy — this guy needs to negotiate with Putin, or find a new sugar daddy to fund his war.

 

Raquel Welch — an amazing piece of ass.

 

Teachers — always wanting more money but already have more than they deserve (and stop blaming your unions; you voted for them)

 

Greta Thunberg — a spoiled brat turned homicidal adult.

 

 

I could go on and on.

 

I also could be wrong.

 

But I doubt it.

 

© 2010-2025 grouchyeditor.com (text only)