The Grouchy Editor

I have an elderly aunt, never married, who once told me that if the choice was between staying single or being in an unhappy marriage, her preference was to live alone.  This choice is one of the themes of Jason Reitman’s Up in the Air, in which George Clooney’s character sees not just marriage, but all relationships, as so much unnecessary baggage.

About two-thirds into the film, I had the sinking feeling that director Reitman was going to take this idea into stale romantic-comedy turf.  After knocking some sense into Clooney’s bachelor, it seemed the story would ensure a white picket fence and lots of little Clooneys in his future.  But Reitman and cowriter Sheldon Turner had other, brighter ideas, and this is one reason why I think Up in the Air was robbed of a Best Screenplay Oscar.

Precious, which took home the screenplay award, was not a writer’s picture.  Its signature moments involve great acting, particularly from the explosive Mo’Nique.  Up in the Air, to the contrary, is a writer’s baby — from the repartee between Clooney and his female costars to the unexpected directions we are taken in the final act.

Does the film side with my elderly aunt’s philosophy on marriage?  That’s a question the makers of Up in the Air leave, well, up in the air.      Grade:  B+

Director:  Jason Reitman  Cast:  George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, Anna Kendrick, Melanie Lynskey, Danny McBride, J.K. Simmons  Release:  2009 

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If you hear anything at all about Precious before seeing it, you’ll probably expect a depressing, unpleasant experience.  Your assumption would be correct.  To Sir, With Love, this movie ain’t.

But director Lee Daniels’s drama is worth viewing for at least two reasons.  No matter where you stand on the welfare issue, Daniels’s film will probably convince you that there are two types of people on public assistance — those who truly deserve it, and those who do not.

Which brings me to the second reason Precious is worth seeing:  the Oscar-winning performance by Mo’Nique as the ultimate “welfare queen.”  You do not want to haggle with this character over food stamps.

And yet, social issues and great performances aside, Precious is a movie that, I think, is not as accessible as it aspires to be.  Try as I might, this middle-class, middle-aged, white male reviewer simply could not much relate to Precious’s nightmarish world.  God knows that is not a complaint, just an observation.      Grade:  B+

Director:  Lee Daniels  Cast:  Gabourey “Gabbie” Sidibe, Mo’Nique, Paula Patton, Lenny Kravitz, Mariah Carey, Sherri Shepherd  Release:  2009

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I recently re-watched the classic sorority-massacre movie Black Christmas (1974 version), and that put me in the mood for a new slasher flick, and so I made the mistake of renting Sorority Row.

There is only one way to rate junk like this, so here we go (start with zero points):

1)  Does it have an attractive cast?  Are the sorority girls worth watching?  Yes and yes.  Add 50 points.

2)  Are the production values decent?  Is it well photographed, edited, scored, etcetera?  Yes.  Add 20 points.

3)  Do the attractive stars get naked?  No.  Subtract 30 points.

4)  Does anyone get naked?  Yes, several bit players in a shower scene at the midpoint.  Add 25 points.

5)  Is the killer a surprise, or pretty obvious?  Pretty obvious.  Call it a draw.

6)  Is the killer, once unmasked, a memorable villain?  No.  Very dull.  Subtract 20 points.

7)  Are the killings original?  Not really.  A tire iron is a tire iron.  Subtract 10 points.

Total score:  35

Is that a D or an F?  I’ll be generous.    Grade:  D

Director:  Stewart Hendler  Cast:  Briana Evigan, Rumer Willis, Carrie Fisher, Jamie Chung, Julian Morris, Leah Pipes, Margo Harshman, Matt Lanter, Audrina Patridge, Deja Kreutzberg   Release:  2009

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Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds is really two movies, which is a shame, because one of them is pretty good.  Tarantino’s World War II revisionist revenge story has some seriously suspenseful scenes.  I’m thinking, for example, of the lengthy prologue and a later scene that takes place in a basement tavern.  You watch these scenes and the tension absorbs you.

Alas, we also have the second movie.  This second film stars Brad Pitt in a foul-mouthed update of Lee Marvin’s character in The Dirty Dozen, and it features lots of goofiness and gore.  It’s as if Tarantino could not make up his mind:  create a nerve-wracking war drama, but also lampoon them, the better to attract the snark-loving youth market.  And so we get a cartoonish portrayal from Pitt, spaghetti-Western music, and Batman-like graphics (I half expected “BAM!” and “ZOWEEE!” to appear during fight scenes).  Tarantino’s two films don’t mesh.

As for the much-ballyhooed performance by Christoph Waltz, the pundits’ pick for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar, Waltz is good.  But if you prefer your Nazis with a bit more subtlety, I recommend August Diehl in a less-showy role as Major Hellstrom, oozing menace in the aforementioned tavern scene.       Grade:  C+

Director:  Quentin Tarantino  Cast:  Brad Pitt, Christoph Waltz, Michael Fassbender, Eli Roth, Diane Kruger, Daniel Bruhl, Til Schweiger, Melanie Laurent, August Diehl, Julie Dreyfus  Release:  2009

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You’re browsing at the video store and you read this on the back of a DVD cover:  “Answers lead him (the hero) on a twisted journey of faith, family, delinquent behavior and mortality.”  Do you rent the movie?  Sounds nutritious, right?  Nah, you do what I do — you put it back on the shelf and find something a little … earthier.  Something with a little more … gusto.

Sometimes that impulse is a mistake.  A Serious Man, the Coen brothers’ reflection on Jewish life in 1960s Minnesota, is what you get when you combine a low-budget, intimate indie with the polish you’d expect from two Oscar-winning Hollywood veterans.

The plot seems simple:  Jewish family man faces crises as his world begins to crumble.  The humor is gentle; this is the 1960s Midwest — hardly Judd Apatow territory.  And yet, with this low-key, low-budget, low-concept material, the brothers Coen craft a film you might remember much longer than that earthier stuff, the stuff with “gusto.”      Grade:  B+

Directors:  Joel Coen, Ethan Coen  Cast:  Michael Stuhlbarg, Fred Melamed, Richard Kind, Aaron Wolf, Sari Wagner, Jessica McManus, Amy Landecker   Release:  2009

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You’ve got to hand it to the makers of 2012 — they deliver what you expect.   Much as I’d like to rate this end-of-the-world movie lower, with its plodding plot and cardboard characters, I have to admit that I anticipated fun special effects, and fun special effects I got.

It’s interesting how the basic formula for this type of film has changed so little since Irwin Allen popularized the “disaster picture” back in the 1970s.  Just as in The Towering Inferno, Earthquake, and The Poseidon Adventure, we get a big-name cast so that the script doesn’t have to waste time on character development.  We already knew Steve McQueen and we already know John Cusack, so there’s no reason to waste time on boring exposition.  No, let’s go straight to the goodies:  tidal waves, earthquakes, explosions.  From time to time, the action is interrupted for some insipid preaching about love or the future of mankind.

2012 dutifully carries on this hackneyed tradition.  But the special effects are impressive … although you have to wonder how lame they might look on late-night TV in 2032.       Grade:  C

Director:  Roland Emmerich  Cast:  John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Amanda Peet, Oliver Platt, Thandie Newton, Danny Glover, Woody Harrelson  Release:  2009

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