The Grouchy Editor

Movie lore tells us that James Cameron devoted years to his latest project, the box-office sensation Avatar.  I sincerely hope Cameron used most of that time perfecting the special effects, because it’s apparent he didn’t spend more than 15 minutes on the film’s story, dialogue, or acting.

I give Avatar an above-average rating because the 3-D technology really is captivating, at least at times.  For an action spectacular, it’s ironic that the illusion is most effective in quieter moments:  Drifting sparks from a flame, floating jellyfish, dangling vines, and a simple pane of glass are uncannily realistic.  The ballyhooed flying and battle scenes, conversely, are so loud and busy that the 3-D effect is lost in all the jumble.

Avatar is like an amusement-park ride — a lot of fun at the time, but something you don’t much think about an hour later.  Speaking of time … Cameron seems inordinately fond of his “blue people’s” bare butt cheeks; I only wish he was more considerate of mine, which during an interminable two hours and 42 minutes were alternately aching or falling asleep.

As for the alleged politics of this film, I think it’s much ado about nothing.  Avatar’s plot and characters are much too cartoonish to be taken seriously.       Grade:  B-

Director:  James Cameron  Cast:  Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Stephen Lang, Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez  Release:  2009

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How do you take a great concept, two hot stars, lots of money … and then produce something as abysmally bad as Date Night?  I don’t know the answer to that one.

Wait, I do know the answer:  It’s called a lousy, cliche-ridden script.  I keep harping on this Hollywood deficiency, but of course my whining doesn’t matter, and neither would yours.  The Tinseltown suits are confident that gullible moviegoers will turn out in droves if they can just keep feeding them a) awesome special effects, b) the right celebrities, or c) a plot that sounds good on paper and can be explained in two sentences or less.

Still, I had high hopes for Date Night, in which Steve Carell and Tina Fey play an ordinary suburban couple inadvertently tossed into criminal mischief on their weekly night out, and all of this playing out against the perfect background — Manhattan after dark.  This is territory that Martin Scorsese mined to perfection in After Hours, and that Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis stumbled through amusingly in The Out of Towners.

The disaster that is Date Night is not the fault of Carell and Fey.  In fact, the two stars are the only reason to keep watching the stupid thing.  To their immense credit, Carell and Fey somehow retain our sympathies through ridiculous plot twists, childish dialogue, and obligatory car chases.  Aside from its stars, I could come up with just one reason to recommend Date Night:  There are few, if any, special effects.      Grade:  D+

Director:  Shawn Levy  Cast:  Tina Fey, Steve Carell, Mark Wahlberg, James Franco, Kristen Wiig, William Fichtner, Mila Kunis, Ray Liotta, Gal Gadot  Release:  2010

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I’m tempted to think the reason I wasn’t bowled over by Drew Barrymore’s comedy, Whip It, is because I don’t belong to the film’s target audience (young, female).  I’m tempted — but that wouldn’t quite be true, and that’s because of a little gem that came out of Hollywood in 1992, another movie that wouldn’t seem to have someone like me in mind.

Whip It is the story of a small-town teenager named Bliss (Ellen Page) who joins a professional, all-female sports league and, in the process, grows up and finds greater understanding of friends and family.  The whole women’s sports-league thing is a close cousin to Penny Marshall’s superior A League of Their Own, a film Whip It resembles in tone, if not execution.

Both films rely on a colorful supporting cast.  League’s Rosie O’Donnell and Madonna are replaced here by Kristen Wiig, Juliette Lewis, and Bliss’s other teammates.  Tom Hanks, the grouchy but lovable baseball manager in League, is represented here by Andrew Wilson as the coach of the “Hurl Scouts,” a female roller derby squad.  But the characters in Whip It are paper-thin; Wilson, for example, is no Hanks.

If derby names like “Babe Ruthless” and “Eva Destruction” are enough to whet your comedy whistle, then maybe Whip It will satisfy you.  It’s a feel-good movie, an amusing enough way to spend two hours.  But for me, this was done much better back in 1992.         Grade:  C+

Director:  Drew Barrymore  Cast:  Ellen Page, Marcia Gay Harden, Kristen Wiig, Drew Barrymore, Juliette Lewis, Jimmy Fallon, Daniel Stern, Alia Shawkat, Andrew Wilson  Release:  2009

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How much you like Nicolas Cage could well determine how much you like Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans.

Cage, to me, is always a very watchable actor.  His characters, however, aren’t always particularly likable.  That’s the case in Lieutenant, director Werner Herzog’s cop drama that’s heavy on irony, but otherwise a fairly standard cop drama. 

Cage’s Detective Terence McDonagh suffers a job-related injury, becomes addicted to pain-killing drugs and, in his quest to pay off debts, score drugs, and solve homicides, begins to find life in The Big Easy anything but.

McDonagh’s descent can’t be blamed entirely on drugs.  Among his other vices, this bad lieutenant enjoys power-play sex with the girlfriend of a small-time dealer — and forcing the poor guy to watch at gunpoint.  When a local underworld figure comes gunning for him, McDonagh doesn’t think twice about endangering his own family members.  But he does have a soft spot for pet dogs and fish.

Herzog loves irony, and the director seems to be aiming a big wink at his audience. But it’s not enough to camouflage what is, for the most part, just a routine police movie.      Grade:  B-

Director:  Werner Herzog  Cast:  Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes, Val Kilmer, Fairuza Balk, Jennifer Coolidge, Brad Dourif, Xzibit, Shawn Hatosy, Denzel Whitaker, Katie Chonacas  Release:  2009

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Adventureland is a good example of what happens when you untether talented artists from the shackles of Hollywood junk-meisters.

Greg Mottola wrote and directed this film, which is based on one summer in his youth when he worked at an amusement park.  Mottola previously helmed the cookie-cutter, Judd Apatow-produced Superbad.  Star Jesse Eisenberg went on from this picture to act in Zombieland  — yet another trifling mediocrity.  Kristen Stewart, currently starring in the Twilight films … well, I haven’t seen them, so I’ll withhold judgment in her case.

But in Adventureland, Mottola has written a sweet and funny slice-of-life, with Eisenberg and Stewart sparkling in the lead roles.  That’s the good news.  The bad news?  Superbad went on to earn $170 million worldwide, while Adventureland garnered a mere $16 million domestically.  That’s a shame, because Adventureland has just as many laughs as the Apatow-produced dross; the difference is that Mottola’s latest film has a heart.

It’s the characters that count in this movie, and not just Eisenberg and Stewart.  Bill Hader, Margarita Levieva, and Martin Starr contribute comic highlights and, refreshingly, seem like actual human beings.  The same can be said for Ryan Reynolds as the story’s main villain.  Reynolds’s carousing mechanic comes off more sad and pathetic than malevolent.           Grade:  B+

Director:  Greg Mottola  Cast:  Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Martin Starr, Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader, Margarita Levieva, Ryan Reynolds, Sue O’Malley, Jack Gilpin, Wendie Malick  Release:  2009

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