The Grouchy Editor

I’ve been trying to figure out why Vincere, an Italian historical drama starring Giovanna Mezzogiorno, left me so cold.  Especially since the movie so desperately wants to be affecting.

Vincere has an intriguing, fact-based story, an Oscar-worthy performance by its lead actress, and gorgeous photography.  The second half of the picture almost moved me, and then I finally realized what prevented it from doing so — the first half of the picture.

Vincere is the story of Ida Dalser (Mezzogiorno), mistress of the second-most-famous dictator of World War II, Benito Mussolini.  Years before Mussolini rose to power, Dalser bore him a son, then was cruelly discarded by Il Duce when it became politically expedient for him to do so.  Not to mention the fact that Mussolini already had a wife and kids.

Dalser, refusing to go quietly, was separated from her son and then shunted from one mental hospital to another.  Was she mentally unstable, or merely hopelessly devoted to the wrong man?  I have no idea, but in the film, her sufferings — which constitute the last (and best) hour of the movie — reminded me of another woman-unjustly-institutionalized drama, Frances, with Jessica Lange.  Frances, unlike this film, was emotionally powerful.

The problem with Vincere is that Dalser, with whom the audience is asked to empathize, is more like a curious lab specimen than a woman you might know.  You wonder:  Is she mildly delusional, or actually mentally ill?  The man she obsesses over, Mussolini, is a completely unsympathetic cad.  The separation of these two lovers could only be a good thing.       Grade:  C+

Director:  Marco Bellocchio  Cast:  Giovanna Mezzogiorno, Filippo Timi, Michela Cescon, Fausto Russo Alesi  Release:  2009

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When I read an Inspector Morse novel, or an Agatha Christie story with Hercule Poirot, I always forget the plot soon after.  What sticks with me about the Morse books is Morse himself, and the only thing I recall about any Poirot story is the little Belgian detective.  It’s this emphasis on character that elevates The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, a new Swedish film based on a bestselling book by Stieg Larsson.

If you analyze the plot of Girl, it could be any cookie-cutter American thriller, right down to the climax, in which the bad guy ties up the good guy and, inexplicably, feels the need to confess all before he offs our hero.  But director Niels Arden Oplev’s movie is rescued by good chemistry and charisma.

Noomi Rapace does gloomy yet manages to light up the screen as Lisbeth Salander, a goth-type who, finding herself victimized by both family and society, is not the type to let bygones be bygones.  Computer hacker Lisbeth gets mixed up with the most unlikely of companions — an older journalist (Michael Nyqvist) on his way to prison for libel.  Together, this odd couple develops mutual respect while solving a 40-year-old mystery involving a missing woman.

By tomorrow, I probably won’t remember much of Girl’s convoluted story, and I’m not likely to care that I don’t.  However, as with Morse and Poirot, I’ll likely have fond memories of these two Swedish crime-solvers.  Can anyone say “sequel”?        Grade:  B+

Director:  Niels Arden Oplev  Cast:  Michael Nyqvist, Noomi Rapace, Lena Endre, Peter Haber, Sven-Bertil Taube  Release:  2010

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Movie lore tells us that James Cameron devoted years to his latest project, the box-office sensation Avatar.  I sincerely hope Cameron used most of that time perfecting the special effects, because it’s apparent he didn’t spend more than 15 minutes on the film’s story, dialogue, or acting.

I give Avatar an above-average rating because the 3-D technology really is captivating, at least at times.  For an action spectacular, it’s ironic that the illusion is most effective in quieter moments:  Drifting sparks from a flame, floating jellyfish, dangling vines, and a simple pane of glass are uncannily realistic.  The ballyhooed flying and battle scenes, conversely, are so loud and busy that the 3-D effect is lost in all the jumble.

Avatar is like an amusement-park ride — a lot of fun at the time, but something you don’t much think about an hour later.  Speaking of time … Cameron seems inordinately fond of his “blue people’s” bare butt cheeks; I only wish he was more considerate of mine, which during an interminable two hours and 42 minutes were alternately aching or falling asleep.

As for the alleged politics of this film, I think it’s much ado about nothing.  Avatar’s plot and characters are much too cartoonish to be taken seriously.       Grade:  B-

Director:  James Cameron  Cast:  Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Stephen Lang, Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez  Release:  2009

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How do you take a great concept, two hot stars, lots of money … and then produce something as abysmally bad as Date Night?  I don’t know the answer to that one.

Wait, I do know the answer:  It’s called a lousy, cliche-ridden script.  I keep harping on this Hollywood deficiency, but of course my whining doesn’t matter, and neither would yours.  The Tinseltown suits are confident that gullible moviegoers will turn out in droves if they can just keep feeding them a) awesome special effects, b) the right celebrities, or c) a plot that sounds good on paper and can be explained in two sentences or less.

Still, I had high hopes for Date Night, in which Steve Carell and Tina Fey play an ordinary suburban couple inadvertently tossed into criminal mischief on their weekly night out, and all of this playing out against the perfect background — Manhattan after dark.  This is territory that Martin Scorsese mined to perfection in After Hours, and that Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis stumbled through amusingly in The Out of Towners.

The disaster that is Date Night is not the fault of Carell and Fey.  In fact, the two stars are the only reason to keep watching the stupid thing.  To their immense credit, Carell and Fey somehow retain our sympathies through ridiculous plot twists, childish dialogue, and obligatory car chases.  Aside from its stars, I could come up with just one reason to recommend Date Night:  There are few, if any, special effects.      Grade:  D+

Director:  Shawn Levy  Cast:  Tina Fey, Steve Carell, Mark Wahlberg, James Franco, Kristen Wiig, William Fichtner, Mila Kunis, Ray Liotta, Gal Gadot  Release:  2010

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I’m tempted to think the reason I wasn’t bowled over by Drew Barrymore’s comedy, Whip It, is because I don’t belong to the film’s target audience (young, female).  I’m tempted — but that wouldn’t quite be true, and that’s because of a little gem that came out of Hollywood in 1992, another movie that wouldn’t seem to have someone like me in mind.

Whip It is the story of a small-town teenager named Bliss (Ellen Page) who joins a professional, all-female sports league and, in the process, grows up and finds greater understanding of friends and family.  The whole women’s sports-league thing is a close cousin to Penny Marshall’s superior A League of Their Own, a film Whip It resembles in tone, if not execution.

Both films rely on a colorful supporting cast.  League’s Rosie O’Donnell and Madonna are replaced here by Kristen Wiig, Juliette Lewis, and Bliss’s other teammates.  Tom Hanks, the grouchy but lovable baseball manager in League, is represented here by Andrew Wilson as the coach of the “Hurl Scouts,” a female roller derby squad.  But the characters in Whip It are paper-thin; Wilson, for example, is no Hanks.

If derby names like “Babe Ruthless” and “Eva Destruction” are enough to whet your comedy whistle, then maybe Whip It will satisfy you.  It’s a feel-good movie, an amusing enough way to spend two hours.  But for me, this was done much better back in 1992.         Grade:  C+

Director:  Drew Barrymore  Cast:  Ellen Page, Marcia Gay Harden, Kristen Wiig, Drew Barrymore, Juliette Lewis, Jimmy Fallon, Daniel Stern, Alia Shawkat, Andrew Wilson  Release:  2009

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