The Grouchy Editor

I went to the lake this afternoon – my childhood lake, Kandiyohi, in central Minnesota.  I shot off firecrackers on the shore, and then boated through some wavy cattails.

This was all in my imagination, of course.  I was actually in an air-conditioned movie theater, where they were showing Piranha in 3-D.  The movie takes place at “Lake Victoria” in Arizona, and that got me reminiscing about Kandiyohi.  After about 15 minutes of the movie, I couldn’t digest any more of the clunky, idiotic dialogue I was hearing, so I stopped listening and began to hear those firecrackers in my mind …. Ten minutes later, when I could no longer stomach the sight of third-rate actors and first-rate actors slumming, I stopped looking at the film.  Instead, I began to see those cattails.

Periodically, I would stop daydreaming because something would catch my eye on the screen.  One time, I was intrigued by the performance of an actress billed as “Girl Cut in Half,” who briefly displayed two enormous talents before, well, being cut in half.

A few other times, porn actress Riley Steele interrupted my reverie, once when she performed some kind of nude underwater ballet with Playboy model Kelly Brook, then again when she had to climb back onto the boat.

But mostly, I stayed on Kandiyohi Lake.  Piranha’s plot, which you’ve seen a thousand times before, and its cast – unfathomably including the likes of Richard Dreyfuss, Elisabeth Shue, and Christopher Lloyd – and its 3-D effects, which ranged from mildly amusing to downright distracting, simply could not compete with those dreamy cattails and firecrackers in my head.       Grade:  C-

Director:  Alexandre Aja  Cast:  Elisabeth Shue, Richard Dreyfuss, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Jerry O’Connell, Kelly Brook, Riley Steele, Nancy Walters  Release:  2010

                   Watch Trailers and Clips  (click here)

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Imagine a famous feminist – say, Gloria Steinem – sitting down with two filmmakers to do a serious interview about her life’s work.  But there’s a catch:  Her interrogators are Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell.

How you react to that scenario will likely color your view of Let It Rain, a French comedy from writer-director Agnes Jaoui.   Is this movie a satire, in which an uppity woman receives her well-deserved comeuppance?  Well … yes.  Is it social commentary that underscores the kind of obstacles, ignorance, and frustration a serious person must leap-frog to effect meaningful change?  Yup, that too.

In Let It Rain, Jaoui, who also stars as best-selling author and feminist Agathe Villanova, straddles the fence between heavy and light, but she never falls off because her main concern is people, not ideology.  The relatives and locals Agathe copes with on a visit to her hometown are largely indifferent or hostile to her cause, certainly.  But isn’t Agathe also a bit full of herself? 

Jaoui the director subjects Agathe to one slapstick situation after another, usually at the hands of those two inept filmmakers.  Everyone else Agathe encounters appears to be down-to-earth and friendly, you bet.  But don’t they all owe something to people like Agathe, people who don’t just complain but actually accomplish things? Isn’t Agathe really an island of common sense among fools and dreamers?  Or is she just a pompous ass?

There is a scene near the end of the film in which Agathe has a heart-to-heart with Mimouna, a saintly, long-suffering family servant who thinks only of others, despite major problems of her own.  “Think of yourself.  Just a little,” counsels Agathe.  Does Mimouna’s rejection of this advice make her an exemplary human being, or just a sap?  Will I ever stop asking questions in this review?

There’s a lot of chat in Let It Rain, and its ending is a bit pat, but the dialogue is never less than amusing, the characters are all engaging, and the acting is first-rate. The movie injects feminism with something its critics say it sorely lacks:  a sense of humor.  Jaoui wants you think – but only between the laughs.           Grade:  B+ 

Director:  Agnes Jaoui  Cast:  Agnes Jaoui, Jean-Pierre Bacri, Jamel Debbouze, Pascale Arbillot, Guillaume de Tonquedec, Frederic Pierrot, Mimouna Hadji  Release:  2010 

Watch Trailers and Clips  (click here)

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

It’s a crazy world for 15-year-old Johnny Mad Dog and his teenaged pals.  In Johnny’s world, he doesn’t worry about asking girls out — he simply kidnaps or rapes them.  When Johnny and the boys meet someone they don’t like, there are no fisticuffs; they have an Uzi to take care of the problem.  And if an older couple tries to reason with them, well, the boys can just force them to strip and then demand:  “You’ll fuck your wife, right now, in the living room … fuck for me now!”  It’s a boy’s life, indeed.

Johnny Mad Dog, with its band of vicious young males, will put some viewers in mind of A Clockwork Orange, but director Jean-Stephane Sauvaire’s documentary-style film is even more horrific because it’s not set in the future; it is fact-based and happening right now.  (Depending on which source you consult, events are based either on Liberia or the Congo Republic.)  This hypnotic horror-show demonstrates what happens when children are recruited to fight adult wars.

We follow Johnny (Christopher Minie) and his militia as they make their way toward the capital of their country, terrorizing anyone who crosses their path.  It’s a mesmerizing march, and these kids resemble a road show from hell.  One guy wears a white wedding dress; another sports gauzy, white angel wings.  These boys don’t worry about anyone dissing their fashion choices.

Between bouts of carnage, Sauvaire reminds us that these thugs are, despite everything, still boys.  A kid nicknamed No Good Advice, whose behavior has been monstrous, is reduced to tears when his pet pig is slaughtered for a meal.  Johnny, whose idea of socializing with the opposite sex is rape, is devastated when a girl he likes is murdered.  We learn that Johnny and the boys aren’t just monsters, but victims themselves.

It’s ironic that this week’s Hollywood box-office champ is The Expendables, Sly Stallone’s latest comic-book version of violence on film.  At one point in Mad Dog, Johnny picks up an Uzi and explains its function to his comrades:  “Chuck Norris used it in Delta Force,” he says.  “So be careful!  The Israelis or Chuck Norris might be around.”  Norris and Stallone movies are filled with senseless violence.  So is Johnny Mad Dog, but that’s where any similarities end.     Grade:  A-

Director:  Jean-Stephane Sauvaire  Cast:  Christopher Minie, Careen Moore, Dagbeh Tweh, Daisy Victoria Vandy, Joseph Duo  Release:  2009

Watch Trailers  (click here)

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

The last time I checked, Alamar enjoyed a lofty 94 percent “fresh” rating from film critics on rottentomatoes.com.   From this stellar evaluation, I conclude:  1) The critics all love the ending of The Shawshank Redemption; 2) the critics were all raised in cities or suburbs.

Alamar, billed as a “documentary-drama,” is a romanticized love-letter to the simple life, with a sentimental depiction of rural, seaside Mexico and its decidedly low-tech inhabitants.  The film portrays the sort of life you imagine for Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman, post-prison in Shawshank.  It’s the stuff of daydreams for countless city dwellers.  But hold on just a minute before you contact your travel agent.

I grew up in a Midwestern small town, the kind of hamlet that urban folk imagine Mayberry or Green Acres represents.  But there is a reason that I – and millions of other rural Americans – migrated to the Big City.  Yes, crime was low, pollution nonexistent, and you knew all of your neighbors in a small town.  But country settings also offer the most boring existence on earth.  People bolt because there is so little mental stimulation; nice place to visit for the holidays, sure, but you don’t want to live there.

The Midwest is no Caribbean, and it certainly lacks the spectacular vistas of southeastern Mexico, but Alamar trades on a false romanticism supposedly found only in isolated areas.  To me, the film was 73 minutes of fishing, eating, fishing, and sleeping.  A “highlight” occurs when a Cattle Egret (look it up) comes to visit the natives and is fed a fly for lunch.

Alamar tells the story of five-year-old Natan as he enjoys one last fishing expedition with his Mayan father before the boy must return to Italy with his mother.  This trip is all very exciting for a five-year-old, I’m sure, but what happens to Natan on that coral reef when he turns sixteen?  Call me Eva Gabor, but I was pulling for the kid to return to civilization.       Grade:  C+

Director:  Pedro Gonzalez-Rubio  Cast:  Jorge Machado, Natan Machado Palombini, Nestor Marin, Roberta Palombini  Release:  2010

      Watch Trailers  (click here)

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

At the end of 7 Days, the handcuffed protagonist is led away from the scene of his crimes by police.  A reporter asks this disturbed doctor if what he’s done brought him any closure.  “No,” the man says.  Does he regret what he’s done?  “No,” he says again.

Those questions are at the heart of this Canadian drama.  What would you do if your eight-year-old daughter was raped, murdered, dumped in a field – and then you managed to kidnap and confine the perpetrator for a whole week?  It’s a difficult question, and the movie gives us answers not just from Dr. Bruno Hamel (Claude Legault), but also from his wife, from a widowed policeman, and from the parents of several other murdered girls.

Director Daniel Grou lets the audience dwell on that sticky question for 105 minutes, and then, as if that moral quandary weren’t depressing enough, we must watch as Dr. Hamel perverts his medical expertise, torturing his captive in graphic, gory, and ingenious ways.

The problem with 7 Days is that it’s three movies in one:  police thriller, family tragedy … and torture porn.  It’s too slow-paced to be particularly suspenseful, too gruesome for serious contemplation, and hey, if it’s the torture you dig, there are some Japanese movies (not to mention the Hostel franchise) that will better suit your needs.

What we’re left with is an interesting misfire that can best be summed up in two words:  unpleasant and depressing.           Grade:  B-

Director:  Daniel Grou  Cast:  Remy Girard, Claude Legault, Fanny Mallette, Martin Dubreuil, Rose-Marie Coallier, Pascale Delhaes  Release:  2010

            Watch Trailers  (click here)

© 2010-2026 grouchyeditor.com (text only)