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25Apr

No Return

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The last time I watched a film co-produced by Spain and Argentina, the result was one of the best pictures of the year – from any country. That was in 2010, and the movie was the romantic thriller, The Secret in Their Eyes.

So when I walked into a theater a few nights ago to see another Spanish-Argentinean project, my expectations might have been too high. Director Miguel Cohan’s No Return is intelligent, well-acted, and has an intriguing story … but it feels flat.

No Return depicts the consequences of a tragic car-bicycle accident. Young Pablo is struck not once but twice – the second time fatally while he is tending to his broken bicycle on a street in Buenos Aires. Like the spokes of the wheel on Pablo’s battered bike, the repercussions of the accident spread out in multiple directions.

Three families are affected: Hit-and-run driver Matias (Martin Slipak) and his parents; the father (Federico Luppi) of the accident victim; and entertainer Federico (Leonardo Sbaraglia), who is falsely accused of the crime. As each group deals with the fallout from the accident, which becomes a media event, No Return is compelling – but not particularly moving. I think this is the case because Cohan’s script asks the audience to invest emotionally in too many characters over a short period of time.

No Return is one of those films you are happy to have seen, but will probably not revisit. Grade: B

Director: Miguel Cohan Cast: Leonardo Sbaraglia, Martin Slipak, Barbara Goenaga, Luis Machin, Ana Celentano, Arturo Goetz, Agustin Vazquez, Federico Luppi, Pedro Merlo Release: 2010

Watch the Trailer (click here)

22Apr

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil

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Tucker & Dale vs. Evil has some of the funniest sight gags I’ve seen in a long, long time. Rookie director Eli Craig’s horror-comedy takes the redneck-slasher flick, hangs it upside down from a meat-hook, and invites us to laugh at the fallout.

Outside of a Three Stooges short, it’s probably not possible to make a movie with nonstop visual jokes, but that’s a shame because there are some doozies in this farce. After watching Tucker and Dale do their thing, seeing Leatherface brandish a chainsaw will never again seem so threatening. Alas, there is also bad news: Tucker & Dale has a plot.

Dale (Tyler Labine), one of our two hillbilly heroes, is fat and slow on the uptake, but blessed with a heart of gold. He and buddy Tucker (Alan Tudyk) want nothing more than some peace and quiet on their vacation at Tucker’s woodland cabin. When some college kids – airheads who’ve seen way too many movies – invade the boys’ West Virginia mountain retreat, we know nothing good will come of it. There will be blood – just not in the ways you might think.

One of the college kids is super-sexy-smart Allison (Katrina Bowden), a psychology student, and Dale is instantly smitten. If you’ve seen any Judd Apatow movie, you know exactly how this will turn out: In the fantasy world that Hollywood regularly offers to teenage audiences, every slob gets his girl.

Tucker & Dale runs out of steam at about its midpoint, when plot gets in the way and the movie devolves into the same kind of silly slasher flick it has been lampooning so admirably. My advice to you: Whenever the story gets talky and the dialogue turns “serious,” saunter out to the lobby and buy some popcorn, or have a smoke in front of the theater. Just try to be back in time for the sight gags. Grade: B-

Director: Eli Craig Cast: Tyler Labine, Alan Tudyk, Katrina Bowden, Jesse Moss, Philip Granger, Brandon Jay McLaren, Christie Laing, Chelan Simmons, Travis Nelson Release: 2010

Watch Trailers and Clips (click here)

17Apr

Blow Out (1981)

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Brian De Palma gets no respect. De Palma directed Carrie, which some people think of as “the Stephen King movie.” He also helmed Scarface, which fans will tell you is “the Al Pacino movie.” And when De Palma wrote and directed a string of devilishly amusing, sexy thrillers in the 1980s, critics accused him of ripping off Alfred Hitchcock.

I‘m going to defend De Palma. I want to do this because I am filled with righteous indignation. De Palma, you should know, not only gave us stylish suspense: The man probably did more for the titillating shower scene than any other filmmaker in history. (Okay, with the possible exception of Bob Clark and Porky’s.)

Blow Out, which puts a movie sound-effects whiz played by John Travolta in the middle of a political assassination and cover-up, is certainly Hitchcockian. We have the hero (Travolta) whom no one will believe; the attractive, none-too-happy love interest (Nancy Allen, De Palma’s wife) who is tricked into a conspiracy; and a MacGuffin – who, exactly, is responsible for the crime?

The plot may be Hitchcock, but the movie’s striking visuals are pure De Palma. No one utilized slow-motion, tracking shots, split screen, and color quite like he did. It’s a compliment to the director when a viewer can absorb five minutes of a film and conclude, “This must be a De Palma movie.” And, oh, the dramatic music in this film. Composer Pino Donaggio’s soaring strings are ear-popping, yes, but they gel perfectly with the operatic visuals.

Blow Out isn’t De Palma’s best thriller (my vote goes to Body Double). Allen, as Travolta’s ditzy comrade-in-arms, is no Eva Marie Saint. The story’s frantic climax is a feast for the eyes – but it’s also over-the-top silly.

But when you watch a De Palma production you tend to forgive his indulgences because you feel like you’re watching a Hollywood movie – well-crafted and meant to be enjoyed. And did I mention that no one did better shower scenes? Grade: B

Director: Brian De Palma Cast: John Travolta, Nancy Allen, John Lithgow, Dennis Franz, Peter Boyden, Missy Cleveland, Cindy Manion, Missy O’Shea, Marcy Bigelman, Ann Kelly Release: 1981

Watch the Trailer (click here)

14Apr

The Arrival (1996)

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One critic described 1996’s The Arrival as an update of the 1950s science-fiction B-movie, and I think that’s an apt comparison. What elevates The Arrival above the likes of Killers from Space and Devil Girl from Mars, however, is Charlie Sheen.

Paunchy, bearded, and bespectacled, Sheen in this film is no macho Arnold, Sylvester, or Jean-Claude; he is more like the poor man’s Cary Grant. Sheen’s “Zane Zaminsky,” a radio astronomer who stumbles upon an intergalactic plot by aliens, is forever befuddled, belittled, and beset by co-workers, authorities and, well, by life in general. But Zaminsky has charm and – as the real-life Sheen has discovered – a little bit of charisma can take you a long way.

The Arrival is a frenetic action flick with a story that begins promisingly but eventually sinks into plot holes and head-scratching hokum as Zaminsky tries to expose an alien scheme to “terraform” Earth. The technologically advanced aliens –they can morph into human form and communicate light-years in a matter of seconds – for some odd reason seem to favor 18th-century methods for exterminating their human foes. Why laser a threat when you can plant scorpions in her bed? Why vaporize Zaminsky when you can concoct a Rube Goldberg-like assassination using bathtubs and collapsing hotel floors?

All of this is claptrap, but it matters not because it’s so much fun watching Sheen as he bumbles, stumbles and freaks out over the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that are thrown in his direction. It’s a “winning” formula for Charlie, if not the movie itself. Grade: B-

Director: David Twohy Cast: Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Crouse, Richard Schiff, Ron Silver, Teri Polo, Tony T. Johnson, Phyllis Applegate Release: 1996

Watch the Trailer (click here)

12Apr

I Forgive You, AMC

Posted in Books, Movies, TV & Web, TV | 2 Comments

I am finally ready to kiss and make up with AMC. We dissolved our relationship about ten years ago – mostly due to AMC’s unfaithfulness – but the network has done a lot of growing up, and I dislike holding a grudge. But first, some history:

In the 1980s and 1990s – long before TCM was even a twinkle in Ted Turner’s eye – American Movie Classics was a cinephile’s delight, an oasis of uncut, unedited, commercial-free movies from Hollywood’s “golden age.” On no other channel could you find 1944’s The Uninvited, blessedly free of interruptions for vitamin sales, or Ilsa’s dramatic parting from Rick, sans “a brief pause for a word from our sponsor.” I was in love with AMC.

And then in 2002 AMC did the unthinkable, dumping its subscriber-based format and leaping into the ad-fueled TV cesspool. At first, like a suspicious lipstick stain on its collar, just a few commercials appeared on AMC. But then there were more, and more, and more ….

AMC began airing what it called “classics” from the 1990s and 2000s. All of them were hacked to pieces and censored for content. In other words, AMC was feeding us the same ad-driven drivel that we got on every other channel. This was a betrayal of film buffs, an unforgivable sin. I had to leave AMC.

So when the cable channel’s Mad Men began to generate buzz several years ago, I ignored it. I was pouting, playing hard-to-get. I did watch the first season of Breaking Bad and, grudgingly, I had to admit it was a pretty good show. But now, with the recent additions of Rubicon (already cancelled; but hey, relationship recovery always has a few bumps), The Walking Dead, and The Killing … all is, at long last, forgiven. Give us a kiss, AMC.

Rubicon: This was an intelligent, well-acted puzzler about analysts at a CIA-like think tank. The short-lived series eschewed car chases, shoot-‘em-ups, and sex. So need I explain why it tanked in the ratings? It’s too bad, though, because James Badge Dale was an intriguing leading man, and the supporting cast – especially Michael Cristofer as the sputtering, truculent head of the think tank – was superb. But there were too many scenes set around a table in a conference room, and not much comic relief. Who wants to be reminded of work? Grade: B+

The Walking Dead: Of AMC’s new series, this one is the least mainstream and the most likely to be sustained by a “cult” following. I mean, it’s a show about zombies, for crying out loud. And yet, often it isn’t about the crumbling cadavers. Blood, gore and ghoulish gallopers are mostly in the background, an ominous ambience to the real drama, which is about a group of bickering, bantering, all-too-human survivors. Grade: B

The Killing: The jury is still out on this most-recent AMC series, but I like what I’ve seen in the first three episodes. Seattle, of all places, has never seemed so atmospheric, bringing to mind 1940s film noir as cops Mireille Enos and Joel Kinnaman try to solve the murder of a teenage girl. As with Rubicon and The Walking Dead, this series draws you in because – imagine it! – someone at AMC must really believe in the network’s slogan: “story matters.” Grade: B+

08Apr

The Protocols of the Elders of Zion

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A notorious outline for Jewish world domination, Protocols is generally dismissed as a fraud. Scholars say that Jewish plotters, as implied by these “minutes,” did not secretly meet in the late 19th century, and that this book’s text was cobbled together from earlier material dreamed up by some anonymous instigator. I don’t know that it matters whether the meeting was a complete fabrication. What matters is that the ideas expressed in Protocols influenced everyone from Henry Ford to Adolf Hitler to Bobby Fischer – and those ideas continue to attract certain factions today.

The components of this preachy, vague publication (specifics are rarely mentioned) are well known: Gentiles are sheep, an inferior people destined for manipulation and governance by the “chosen people.” Jews will use their control of global finance, the press, and political puppets to sow discord and eventually rule the world. You know, like what Hitler tried to do.

07Apr

Swept Away (1974)

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On the surface (and in the water), Italian director Lina Wertmuller’s Swept Away seems a rather traditional, comic battle of the sexes. The African Queen with subtitles, perhaps, or The War of the Roses with prettier scenery.

But Wertmuller’s 1974 film has some radical takes on some old ideas: Does “no” always mean “no” when it comes to sex? Is feminism a desirable progression for humanity – or does it upset the “natural” scheme of things? Does capitalism rock – or does it knock down the little guy, creating an undeserving, privileged upper class?

Rafaella (Mariangela Melato) is a wealthy industrialist’s wife enjoying a Mediterranean yacht expedition with friends when a mishap maroons her on a desolate island with Gennarino (Giancarlo Giannini), a left-leaning, lower-class deckhand.

Rafaella, who makes no secret of her political views, could be described as 1) a beacon of feminism, a go-getter with little sympathy for anyone lacking her ambition and drive, or 2) a pampered bitch. Gennarino, who must (grudgingly) cater to Rafaella’s every whim, could be described as 1) a victim of an unfair social system, a hard-working “man of the people,” or 2) a male chauvinist pig.

When this political odd couple is stranded on an island, hilarity ensues – but not for long. Swept Away takes on a darker, more serious tone when the two castaways find their roles reversed, with newly liberated Gennarino more than happy to turn class warfare on its head. The deckhand quickly turns to physical intimidation – including sexual assault – in his attempts to induce Rafaella’s submission.

At this point, political correctness tells us that we should clearly side with the woman, right? Not so fast – because as I’ve said, Wertmuller (who also wrote the script) has some unorthodox views of the situation.

In the end, the real battle is between realism and romanticism. I’ll let you guess which character turns out to be the romantic, and which the realist. Grade: A-

Director: Lina Wertmuller Cast: Giancarlo Giannini, Mariangela Melato, Riccardo Salvino, Isa Danieli, Aldo Puglisi Release: 1974

Watch a Clip (click here)

04Apr

Insidious

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James Wan’s haunted-house movie Insidious will put you on the edge of your seat. In fact, if you are like me the film will send you rocketing from your chair and crashing into the theater ceiling like a test pilot who’s accidentally pushed the ejection button. That’s the good news.

The bad news is that, in addition to a skull fracture, you will likely acquire punctured ear drums, a ringing headache, and attention deficit disorder due to the DEAFENING sound effects Wan employs in conjunction with most of his “boo!” scenes.

Insidious, which insidiously apes the plot of Poltergeist, promises to deliver scares and it does, and that’s a simple rule of scary movies that so many of them, inexplicably, seem to forget. Entertainment Weekly critic Owen Gleiberman is correct when he says, “Insidious … has some of the most shivery and indelible images I’ve seen in any horror film in decades.”

But it’s a shame that I can’t honestly tell you whether my Flying Wallenda impersonations were due to Wan’s skilled filmmaking or to those shattering decibel levels. At what point does a film cross the line from artful manipulation to physical assault?

The plot concerns a young couple (Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne) with three kids, one of whom mysteriously lapses into a coma. When things that go bump in the night begin to plague the family, mom and dad pack everyone up and move to a new house. But the freakish phenomena move with them.

Like most good horror flicks, Insidious is a director’s movie. The actors are only required to look alternately worried and terrified. The script might or might not get in the way of the fun. Insidious screenwriter Leigh Whannell, to my way of thinking, attempts to explain things better left unexplained. I mean, isn’t it frightening enough to learn that ghosts actually exist and are out to get you, without bringing in the obligatory “expert” (Lin Shaye channeling ghosts, a la Zelda Rubinstein in Poltergeist) to explain their cockamamie motivations? Grade: B

Director: James Wan Cast: Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Ty Simpkins, Andrew Astor, Lin Shaye, Barbara Hershey, Leigh Whannell, Angus Sampson Release: 2011

Watch Trailers and Clips (click here)

02Apr

Happy Endings

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by Jim Norton

Norton’s autobiographical essays belong in the “This Will Appeal Almost Exclusively to Emotionally Stunted Young Males” genre, right beside hormone-driven nonsense like Grant Stoddard’s Working Stiff and Tucker Max’s I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.

What raises Happy Endings a notch above those other books is the fact that Norton (unlike Max) is an experienced writer and (unlike Stoddard) also a professional comedian. He trots out the same type of raunchy anecdotes – extremely reliant on bodily apertures, gases, and fluids – but he knows how to turn a phrase for maximum comic effect. A lot of this stuff is funny, but oh, man, those off-color stories …. Bathroom humor is like the exclamation point: It’s effective when used judiciously, but grows tiresome when overdone. And Norton uses it relentlessly in Happy Endings.

28Mar

The Evolution of Bruno Littlemore

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by Benjamin Hale

The Evolution of Bruno Littlemore is narrated by a talking chimpanzee. “Bruno” is not a very pleasant ape. He has learned a lot of big words, and he loves to parade them. Although he’s a regular-sized chimp and he’s plagued by insecurities, his ego is the size of King Kong and he feels superior to most primates – including humans. Especially humans. Does that sound like the kind of “hero” with whom you want to spend 576 pages? At first, I didn’t think I wanted to, but I’m glad I hung in there with Bruno, because this book is an absolute knockout. Hale, who is all of 27 years old (the bastard!), has written a debut novel that practically screams out, “Literature is not dead!”

Bruno is not without flaws. There are times when the reader’s suspension of disbelief is sorely tested; this is, after all, a talking chimpanzee we’re asked to accept. But the book works on so many levels: unforgettable characters, penetrating insights about human nature; comedy and tragedy. Mostly, it’s the irascible, disturbing Bruno himself that will stay with you – whether you want him to or not.