Category: Books, Movies, TV & Web

Cabin1

 

If I told you that this review was written by Zargon, a 10,000-year-old wooly mammoth that was recently discovered in Antarctica, unfrozen by scientists, and then taught typing skills by an English teacher, you’d have to admit that the possibility is fairly imaginative.  Hopefully, we could also agree that it’s a profoundly stupid claim.  But that’s what you get with The Cabin in the Woods — an imaginative but profoundly stupid horror movie.

Esteemed film critic Roger Ebert has written of Cabin’s plot, “You’re not going to see this one coming.”  With any luck, that’s because you’re a somewhat rational human being who expects at least a modicum of realism in your movies, even silly movies like this one.

 

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Everything in Cabin is culled from countless kids-in-peril flicks of the past.  You already know the story:  Five kids party at an isolated cabin, where bad things happen to them.  The kids are all archetypes from other slasher movies, which isn’t entirely bad because it does mean we get an obligatory topless scene from one of the girls, this time courtesy of actress Anna Hutchison.

Much has been made of Cabin’s supposedly novel take on a tired genre, but imagination with no discipline is also what you get when a three-year-old draws pictures on the wall.  With his own poo.       Grade:  C

 

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Director:  Drew Goddard   Cast:  Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Brian White, Amy Acker  Release:  2012

 

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by Jon Ronson

  Psycho

 

Ronson is a peculiar fellow.  At times, while reading his descriptions of the charm and deception utilized by psychopaths to get their way, I wondered if perhaps Ronson himself was a psychopath, using his considerable writing skills to mislead us and cajole us into buying his book.  For one thing, the title of The Psychopath Test is inaccurate:  Yes, Ronson unearths a psychopath or two, but mostly he presents a series of encounters with people who are merely odd – or possibly crazy, but not psychopaths.

Test is no scholarly analysis of mental illness, but it is a fascinating read, letters from a Caspar Milquetoast with balls (Ronson) who passes on the unwelcome news that all of us harbor some of the traits found on the Hare checklist of psychopathic symptoms.  There is also the unsettling possibility that – with all of our recent talk about the wealthy “one percent” – we should perhaps be focused on a different “one percent”: the estimated number of psychopaths in our midst.

 

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Lebanon1

 

The gripping war movie Lebanon is unpopular with some groups in Israel because, according to a news report, “the film will deter young men from volunteering for the [Israeli] army.”  I don’t entirely buy that argument.

Does Lebanon emphasize the horrors of war?  Yes, indeed.  As you might expect from any war film, there are graphic scenes of violence, gore, and sheer terror.  Does Lebanon also glamorize war?  I’m certain that it does — at least for some members of the audience.

I feel confident that many young men will identify with at least one of the film’s four main characters, young Israelis confined in a hellish tank at the onset of the 1982 conflict in Lebanon.  This kind of viewer-identification is nothing new;  audiences sided with Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker when Bonnie and Clyde was in theaters.  And I’m guessing that more than one Nightmare on Elm Street fan would enjoy being in Freddy Krueger’s blood-stained shoes.  Some young men who watch Lebanon will be repelled by what they see; others will leave the movie and seek out an enlistment officer.

 

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For me (an old man), the most compelling reason to see Lebanon is its stunning photography.  Director Samuel Maoz, who wrote the script based on his own experience as a gunner in the 1982 battle, also has a background in art direction and photography — and man, does it show.  Shot almost entirely within the confines of a leaking, creaking tank, Maoz’s visuals are a luminescent feast, with green and gold patinas casting an eerie glow onto a drop of sweat falling off a soldier’s chin, or a crushed cigarette floating in a pool of oil.

You might think that a 93-minute movie restricted to the inside of a tank is about 90 minutes too much, but you’d be mistaken.  We feel the men’s claustrophobia, but there is also suspense because we see what they see:  kaleidoscopic snapshots of chaos on the dangerous streets outside of their metal cocoon, all viewed through the lens of a rotating gunsight.

Some people will likely experience Lebanon as a big-screen videogame: cool-looking, violent, and with clearly defined good guys and bad guys.  Others will see it as a harrowing anti-war statement.  Some people will see it as pro-military; some will see it as anti-army.  That’s just the way we are.       Grade:  B+

 

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Director:  Samuel Maoz   Cast:  Yoav Donat, Itay Tiran, Oshri Cohen, Michael Moshonov, Zohar Shtrauss, Dudu Tassa, Ashraf Barhom, Fares Hananya, Reymond Amsalem   Release:  2010

 

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                                                         by Bill Maher                                                                     

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I’m tempted to call Bill Maher a genius – but if I did that, I might be accused of self-flattery, because I happen to agree with about 95 percent of his opinions.  No, that’s not true:  96 percent.  If you lean left like me, Maher is your man, because he counters any “bleeding-heart-liberal” charges with take-no-prisoners wit.

As Maher points out in the foreword to New Rules, this is primarily a joke book, with hundreds of one-paragraph zingers targeting pop culture and everyday life.  The jokes are usually clever, often true, and frequently funny.  But Maher also includes dozens of longer essays – mostly about politics – and this is where he does us pinkos proud.

 

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by Janet Evanovich

Spooky

 

Reading an Evanovich “Stephanie Plum” novel is a bit like watching an episode of I Love Lucy.  Everyone is silly and everything is far-fetched – and yet it’s often quite amusing.  Evanovich goes all supernatural on us in her “between-the-numbers” books, including this one, which makes the proceedings in Plum Spooky even more ridiculous than usual.

 

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Breakers1

 

At one point in The Ghost Breakers, a 1940 Bob Hope vehicle that features zombies in the Caribbean, a man explains to Hope the perils of voodoo:

Man:  “It’s worse than horrible, because a zombie has no will of his own.  You see them sometimes, walking around blindly with dead eyes, following orders, not knowing what they do, not caring.”

Hope:  “You mean like Democrats?”

In hindsight, and with an awareness of Hope’s ultra-conservative, hawkish politics, that line might raise a few hackles with certain members of the audience.  Ditto for the womanizing comedian’s frequent quips about redheads and brunettes, and his mental undressing of co-star Paulette Goddard (who, incidentally, does pop up frequently in various stages of undress).

But that line about the Democrats, no matter what your political leanings, is still funny and is delivered with impeccable timing — a big reason why Hope’s early films for Paramount are so entertaining.

 

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Hope plays Larry Lawrence, a radio personality who winds up stuffed in a trunk aboard a ship bound for Cuba.  The trunk belongs to Goddard, and together the pair investigates her inheritance:  a haunted mansion on “Black Island.”

By today’s standards, much of the movie is politically incorrect.  People smoke cigarettes (gasp!).  Hope makes sexist comments.  Willie Best, mumbling and shuffling as Alex, Hope’s black valet, is unquestionably a stereotype.  But his performance is still hilarious.

The Ghost Breakers is a modest production with big bonuses.  There are wonderfully atmospheric sets.  Hope’s false bravado was never more amusing than it is in this film, and he and Best make delightful comic foils.  The movie succeeds at something oft tried, but rarely accomplished:  It’s the perfect blend of creepy chills and genuine laughs.       Grade:  B+

 

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Director:  George Marshall   Cast:  Bob Hope, Paulette Goddard, Richard Carlson, Paul Lukas, Willie Best, Pedro de Cordoba, Virginia Brissac,  Noble Johnson, Anthony Quinn, Tom Dugan   Release:  1940

 

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by Ross Macdonald

Chill

 

As I was reading this mystery, I was reminded of a Hollywood legend about the movie script for another classic detective story, Raymond Chandler’s The Big Sleep.  Supposedly, the novel’s plot was so convoluted that at one point the screenwriters contacted Chandler to ask him who was responsible for the death of one character.  “They sent me a wire,” Chandler later said, “asking me, and dammit I didn’t know either.”  The Chill, in which Southern California detective Lew Archer attempts to solve several murders, is all plot, plot, plot – but Macdonald’s dialogue is snappy, his action is fast-paced, and his characters are colorful.  Best of all, the denouement features a wonderful twist –  and it doesn’t cheat.

 

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Battle1

 

“Oki … you okay?”

So asks a young student of his classmate, Oki, who is staggering and stumbling down a woodlands footpath.  No, Oki is most likely not okay, because we can see that Oki is bleeding profusely from a hatchet that’s embedded in the top of his skull.  This encounter between two friends in the Japanese cult film Battle Royale sums up my feelings about the entire movie.  Watchable but brain-dead.

Battle Royale, beloved by many young people and a precursor to this week’s much-hyped The Hunger Games, exhibits the same traits as do a lot of teenagers:  It’s full of nonsense and energy, but man, does it take itself seriously.

If you are at all familiar with Lord of the Flies, The Most Dangerous Game, or any of several Stephen King books, then you already know the plot.  In the near future, a small group of people (in this case, ninth-grade students) are stranded on an island and pitted against each other in a deadly game of survival.  But unlike, say, Lord of the Flies, there is no gradual descent into barbarity; these kids are instantly good or instantly bad.  The movie doesn’t want to waste time on character development, not when there are so many heads to cut off.

This is the type of film in which people, most of them gangly teens, are shot multiple times but keep getting up to fight again.  And again.  I suppose that if you can just turn your brain off, it’s also the type of film you might enjoy.

The movie is a good fit for teens because it feeds fantasies in which 1)  adults are evil and out to get youngsters; 2) there is a girl/guy of their dreams out there, somewhere, if only he/she can find her/him; and 3) it’s packed with gory, frenetic, nonsensical action.  For what it is, Battle Royale is well done.  But let’s hope that The Hunger Games appeals to more than teen fantasies.        Grade:  C+

 

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Director:  Kinji Fukasaku   Cast:  Tatsuya Fujiwara, Aki Maeda, Taro Yamamoto, Kou Shibasaki, Masanobu Ando, Chiaki Kuriyama, Takeshi Kitano   Release:  2000

 

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by Mel Ayton     

Dark

 

True-crime books can be literary gems, like In Cold Blood and The Executioner’s Song.  Or they can be luridly entertaining, like The Stranger Beside Me and Deadly Innocence.  Unfortunately, true-crime books can also be plodding and dull, which brings me to Dark Soul of the South, historian Mel Ayton’s bland chronicle of Joseph Paul Franklin, the racist sniper who shot Larry Flynt and Vernon Jordan.  Serial-killer biographies like this one are inherently unpleasant; they require a gifted writer to keep the reader absorbed, but Ayton’s workmanlike approach is only mildly engaging.

As a side note, do book publishers no longer hire editors and proofreaders?  The level of sloppiness in this book is embarrassing.

 

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by Arthur Marx

Hope2

 

Arthur Marx (Groucho’s son) wrote this tell-all, an odd-but-compelling mix of typical showbiz biography and lurid sex anecdotes about the famous comedian.

The Good:  I loved the showbiz stories, and they are legion in this book because Hope’s career spanned 1920s vaudeville to 1990s television.  Despite the unflattering tales of Hope’s adulterous affairs (also legion), Marx’s reporting seems fair and balanced.  For every unsavory sex episode, there are examples of the entertainer’s outstanding philanthropy.  Hope is a fascinating subject and Marx sheds light on much – but not all – of his life.

The Bad:  Even though I gobbled up those show-biz tales, there might be a few too many of them.  Marx covers nearly every benefit, tour, movie, radio show, and airplane ride of Hope’s storied career.  Some of Marx’s critical allegations would benefit from footnotes, which are conspicuously missing.   The book’s editing and proofreading are horrendous – or nonexistent.

The Verdict:  When I finished the book, I had a strong desire to watch Hope at his best in some of his 1940s Paramount pictures.  But I was also disillusioned by his hypocrisy and embarrassing career windup – pretty much everything he appeared in from 1960 until his death at age 100 was dreadful.  If you idolize Hope the man, this book will shatter your illusions.  Yes, Hope’s USO tours are legendary – but so are his adulterous flings, misogyny, right-wing politics, and miserliness.

 

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