The Grouchy Editor

Headhunters     Roger (Aksel Hennie, Norway’s answer to Steve Buscemi) is a little guy whose gorgeous wife Diana (Synnove Macody Lund, Norway’s answer to Sweden) has expensive tastes.  So Roger, a corporate headhunter, supplements his income with a side business in stolen art.  And then … things begin to go wrong for Roger. The twists in this clever thriller are unpredictable, and the action is relentless; in fact, things move so fast that I’m not sure whether the plot holds up.  But hey, you could say the same thing about some Hitchcock classics.  Release:  2011  Grade:  B+

*****

The Silent House     Young Laura and her father are hired to repair an abandoned cottage — but this is an old-dark-house movie (sort of), so we know that trouble’s afoot.  There’s a fine line between “artistic license” and a storyline that cheats, so how you feel about the twist at the end of this low-budget chiller from Uruguay — shot in one well-choreographed, 78-minute take — will likely depend on what you feel is fair.  But until its iffy denouement, this House harbors solid suspense and delivers a few genuine jolts.  Release:  2010  Grade:  B

*****

Heavenly Creatures     The attractions here are Peter Jackson’s direction, the performances by Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynskey, and New Zealand doing what New Zealand does best — looking like New Zealand.  But the dark story, based on an actual murder carried out by two teens in 1954, is less compelling than off-putting.  Release:  1994  Grade:  B

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Hachi: A Dog’s Tale     If you’re not an animal lover, the first hour of this little-seen tearjerker about a man and his dog might seem an interminable bore because, other than scenes of Richard Gere playing with a furry little critter (stop it; I know what you’re thinking), not much happens.  But if you do have a soft spot for pets, the last 30 minutes of this film … sorry, I have to go find some tissues now.  Release:  2009  Grade:  B+

*****

M     The opening half of Austrian director Fritz Lang’s first talkie hasn’t aged particularly well — too much police procedural and a lack of interesting characters — but stay tuned for part two, in which bug-eyed Peter Lorre gives a performance that is absolutely riveting.  Lorre plays Beckert, an androgynous pedophile who terrorizes Berlin with a series of child murders.  The hunting of Beckert, Lorre’s deer-in-the-headlights flight, and his “trial” by the city’s underworld are the stuff of cinema legend.  Release:  1931  Grade:  A-

*****

The Divide     Tenants take refuge in the basement of an apartment building when a nuclear bomb levels their city — and that’s just the beginning of their ordeal.  Stretches of the film are like a nightmare:  surreal and unsettling, but also absorbing.  The Divide’s downfall is a screenplay with characters who are all unpleasant or bland, and a plot that degenerates into one disturbing scene of human depravity after another.  Release:  2012  Grade:  C

*****

My Life as a Dog     Life is tough for 12-year-old Ingemar in 1959 Sweden, but the kid’s pain is our gain in this charming comedy-drama.  Director Lasse Hallstrom finds the perfect emotional balance as he depicts the early adolescence of Ingemar, who is shuffled from one home to another when his terminally ill mother can no longer care for him and his brother.  If that sounds maudlin, not to worry.  The oddball characters Ingemar meets — and some marvelous acting — lift this movie out of the doldrums and into the realm of coming-of-age classics.  Release:  1985  Grade:  A-

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Shallow Grave     Three Edinburgh roommates (excuse me, “flatmates”) advertise for a fourth — and wind up with a suitcase full of money and a dead man in the house.  Director Danny Boyle’s film is clever and unpredictable, but not particularly suspenseful.  That’s because the leads are all so unsympathetic that, really, it’s hard to much care what happens to them.  Release:  1994  Grade:  B

*****

The Artist     A valentine to old Hollywood — and not just silent movies, but that whole era comprising “the way they used to make ’em.”  If you’ve seen A Star Is Born or Sunset Boulevard, then the basic storyline will be familiar, but who cares when it’s this well done?  And kudos to a Jack Russell terrier named Uggie.   Says a (subtitled) cop:  “I’ll say one thing, he [the film’s hero] owes his life to that dog!”  The filmmakers might owe a Best Picture Oscar to that dog.  Release:  2011  Grade:  A

*****

The Robber     An ex-con finds that life on the outside is better when he runs marathon races, bangs a social worker … and robs banks.  The robberies and chases, when they come, are exciting, but for a movie about bank heists and running, too much of The Robber moves at a snail’s pace.  Compounding the funereal tone of the film is a romance between our bad-guy hero (Andreas Lust) and his girlfriend (Franziska Weisz), both of whom exude all the heat and passion of an Austrian winter.  Release:  2010  Grade:  C+

*****

The Illusionist     Proving that animated films aren’t just for kids, this whimsical ode to fatherhood is gorgeous and, yes, sentimental, but not overly so.  Based on an unproduced script by legendary French comic Jacques Tati, the story concerns a down-on-his-luck magician whose travels through Europe in 1959 land him an unexpected ward:  a doe-eyed Scottish lass named Alice.  It’s a quiet movie, nearly silent, but its striking images and simple story might leave you believing that magic exists, after all.  Release:  2010  Grade:  B+

*****

Cronos     On the plus side, Guillermo del Toro’s debut feature is visually arresting and boasts a few memorable scenes.  But the movie’s story, in which an antiques dealer and his young granddaughter share a secret about a magical artifact, is paper-thin.  The result is fantasy that’s moderately absorbing, but never scary and not nearly as touching as it wants to be.  Release:  1993  Grade:  B-

*****

Evil Dead II     OK, so maybe you have to be “in the mood” for it, but if you are, Sam Raimi’s sequel to The Evil Dead is about as close as Hollywood ever got to a live-action Looney Tune, melding horror and slapstick with an emphasis on laughs.  And if they gave out Oscars for performances in low-budget splatter flicks, lantern-jawed Bruce Campbell would be a shoo-in.  Campbell’s priceless mugging, Raimi’s frenetic camerawork, and some hilariously hokey special effects ensure that this is still the best “cabin in the woods” movie ever made.  Release:  1987  Grade:  B+   

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