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07May

Reviews in Short: May 2014

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Don Jon

Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Jon, a shallow bartender who is addicted to porn. Scarlett Johansson is the spoiled “princess” who wants Jon under her thumb, and Julianne Moore is a lonely widow out to save him from both porn and bad relationships. The message is a good one, but unless you buy into the Gordon-Levitt and Moore hook-up – I didn’t – it falls a bit short as romantic comedy. Release: 2013 Grade: B

*****

Captain Phillips

Hollywood has always been good at producing the fact-based action movie – provided the script isn’t too beholden to actual facts. I have no idea how accurate Captain Phillips is as it dramatizes a 2009 cargo-ship hijacking off the coast of Somalia, but it’s tense and exciting – think Dog Day Afternoon on the high seas – and Tom Hanks’s captain is, as Hanks characters so often are, a man you can cheer for. Release: 2013 Grade: B+

18Apr

Robinson Crusoe on Mars (1964)

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You see a movie when you’re a kid, and you think it’s the greatest. Many years later, one night after you’ve paid bills, mowed the lawn, and put the kids to bed, you notice that your beloved old movie is playing on the late show. Your first emotion is nostalgic; you remember adoring this film, no matter how silly it might have been. Your second reaction is more practical: Most of the movies you loved as a child and then re-watched as an adult turned out to be, well, pretty bad.

So it was with a healthy dose of skepticism that I recently watched Robinson Crusoe on Mars, which I fully expected to put the kibosh on my fond memories of the first time I saw it, lo those years ago. It would probably suck – even the title of the film is goofy. But I watched anyway. And … what a pleasant surprise!

The plot: Two astronauts and a test monkey are orbiting Mars when a near-collision with an asteroid forces an emergency evacuation to the surface of the planet. Just one astronaut successfully lands and, a la Daniel Defoe’s island castaway, he must use his training and wits to survive the harsh Martian environment. Also per Defoe’s story, eventually there is a “Friday.” Not so like Robinson Crusoe, we also meet evil space aliens.

The pros: 1) When I see special effects in something recent like The Avengers, I usually have this thought: “Wow, that looks really cool – and fake.” When I see special effects in Robinson Crusoe on Mars, I have a similar response, yet there is something more impressive about a 1960s art department designing and photographing spectacular visuals, as opposed to a cadre of computer geeks moving a mouse to achieve similar effects. Director Byron Haskin, a special-effects wiz who ten years earlier filmed the classic The War of the Worlds, combines studio FX with real Death Valley footage to make sci-fi magic. 2) TV veteran Paul Mantee, as the hero, will never be mistaken for Daniel Day-Lewis, but he’s adequate and what his astronaut thinks, does, and says (he has that monkey to talk to) is always credible. Mantee’s activities on Mars in the early stages of the film are just plausible enough, science-wise, to hook us so that we don’t run for the exit when things later get wacky (the arrival of those space aliens).

The cons: 1) This was filmed several years before Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey revolutionized special effects, and so the Martian vistas do look artificial. They also look imaginative and incredibly cool. 2) Some of the science presented is dubious at best, but hey, this was 1964. Giant fireballs cruising the surface of the red planet? Why not? 3) I suppose you could argue that the (white) hero’s relationship with (dark-skinned) Friday is borderline racist – I wouldn’t.

The verdict: I still like this movie. It’s fun. Sometimes even little kids have good taste. Grade: B+

Director: Byron Haskin Cast: Paul Mantee, Victor Lundin, Adam West Release: 1964

Watch the Trailer (click here)

Mantee, Lundin, and “Mona” the monkey on set.

02Apr

Reviews in Short: April 2014

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Klown

This Danish road-trip comedy recalls old-fashioned American slapstick, the type of goofiness we used to get from Laurel and Hardy – but with one big difference: The sight gags, often hilarious, are also rated X. Danish TV comics Frank Hvam and Casper Christensen star as oil-and-water pals who embark on a male-bonding wilderness trip that goes awry thanks to their own ineptitude and a 12-year-old boy who tags along for the ride. Release: 2010 Grade: B

*****

Stained

Canadian actress Tinsel Korey plays a troubled bookseller going through hell at work and at home – but who, or what, is responsible for that hell? Stained tested my tolerance for the “it was only a dream” school of filmmaking, in which the viewer is never quite sure if what he sees happening is, in fact, really happening, and it doesn’t help that the first half of this psychological horror-show is slow. On the plus side, Korey is good as a woman who doesn’t handle stress particularly well. Release: 2010 Grade: B-

*****

The Woman

Well, The Woman ain’t boring. I’m not entirely sure what the movie is – black comedy, feminist revenge flick, unpleasant gorefest – because it’s a tonal mess, but it ain’t boring. Sean Bridgers plays Henry Higgins from Hell, a country lawyer named Cleek who keeps his family in check with a mix of condescension, threats, and old-fashioned whuppings. One fateful day Cleek spots a primitive woman in the wilds of Massachusetts (yes, apparently there are wilds in Massachusetts), decides to take her home with him, and then … I can’t explain it. But it ain’t boring. Release: 2011 Grade: B

*****

Passion

Thirty years ago, Brian De Palma was king of the erotic thriller. Today … not so much. It’s a shame because Passion is certainly watchable and bears De Palma’s distinctive visuals and soundtrack. But the story, in which a corporate cat-fight between executive Rachel McAdams and subordinate Noomi Rapace turns deadly, is confusing and illogical. In De Palma movies of yore such narrative lapses were both minor and overshadowed by the man’s dazzling direction. Not anymore. Release: 2012 Grade: C+

*****

Short Term 12

Looking for something that all of the critics love? Short Term 12 has a 99% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and for good reason. This little film about a handful of young counselors at a home for at-risk teens worried me at first, because it initially carries a whiff of Afterschool Special. Uh-oh, I thought, it’s one of those earnest “good for you” movies. But I was wrong. Unlike just about every other Hollywood release, Short Term 12 is neither cynical and snarky nor sappy and stupid. It’s smart and moving. And lead actress Brie Larson is a real standout. Release: 2013 Grade: A-

*****

20 Feet from Stardom

Stardom puts the spotlight on vocalists who came close to the music-industry brass ring but, either through hard luck or, in some cases, because they didn’t really want it, missed out on solo stardom. There is a lot of great music in this Oscar-winning tribute to backup singers – but not, really, all that much drama. Release: 2013 Grade: B-

*****

Jailbait

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A quote in the ads for this film informs us that Jailbait is “in the vein of Orange Is the New Black.” Uh, no, it isn’t. It’s “in the vein” of trashy ’70s women-in-prison flicks like The Big Doll House. Mostly it’s just writer-director Jared Cohn filming his girlfriend, actress Sara Malakul Lane, in one degrading nude scene after another. Lane, who was about 30 when this was shot, plays a “juvenile” sent to a detention center for young girls, which of course entails rape, shower scenes, more rape, and lesbian sex. Lane does look good naked (she also looks 30), but unlike those ’70s B-movies, this jail drama is a bore. Release: 2013 Grade: D

02Mar

Reviews in Short: March 2014

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Excision

It might test your tolerance for gross-out visuals, and I thought the ending was lame, but the witty horror-comedy Excision is also an amusing battle of wills between teenage social outcast Pauline (AnnaLynne McCord) and her mother, the uber-controlling Phyllis (Traci Lords). Marlee Matlin, Ray Wise, Malcolm McDowell and John Waters lend support. Release: 2012 Grade: B

*****

Page One

A real treat for journalism junkies, but as a documentary about the New York Times, Page One crams an awful lot of material into a 90-minute slot. We get: 1) the demise of print media, 2) the rise of new media, 3) highlights of the Times’s illustrious past, and 4) a mini-biography of colorful media reporter David Carr. But if you are a journalism junkie, it’s all newsworthy stuff. Release: 2011 Grade: B+

*****

A Hijacking

As I watched A Hijacking, a Danish thriller about Somali pirates who confiscate a cargo ship and its crew, I kept thinking, “That’s believable … yeah, I buy that.” The hostage-taking and subsequent ransom negotiations with the head of the company that owns the ship were super-realistic – but that’s a problem for the movie: Watching stone-faced businessmen conduct hostage talks as if they are mulling stock options does not make for gripping drama. Release: 2012 Grade: B-

*****

Nude Nuns with Big Guns

Sometimes movies like this can be campy good fun. Other times, you should just read the title and run. Nude Nuns with Big Guns – you decide. As for me, I am obviously spending too much time on Netflix. Release: 2010 Grade: D

*****

Inequality for All

Former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich, all 4 feet 10 inches of him, makes the case that there is indeed class warfare in the United States, but it’s being waged on the middle class, not by it. Skyrocketing income inequality is territory already covered in other films like 2012’s Park Avenue, but if you’re new to the issue, Reich is an engaging messenger – even if the message he bears is maddening. Release: 2013 Grade: B+

*****

The Wolf of Wall Street

Watching the misbehaving clods in The Wolf of Wall Street is a bit like being the only sober person surrounded by drunks at a bar: Everyone but you is having a good time. Martin Scorsese’s biography of con artist Jordan Belfort is voyeuristically entertaining, in a Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous kind of way, but it’s also too long and the lesson – crime doesn’t pay – isn’t exactly big news. Less than an hour into this sex-and-drug-fueled marathon, I pretty much wanted everyone on screen to go to prison. There is, however, one great scene in which Leonardo DiCaprio learns what happens when you ignore the instructions on a bottle of pills. Release: 2013 Grade: B-

28Feb

Blue Is the Warmest Colour

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Please don’t misunderstand: I’m just as thrilled as the next Al Bundy to watch attractive young actresses in the buff. (Who am I trying to kid – I’m probably more thrilled than Al Bundy.) But after suffering through the interminably dull, critically adored, After School Special called Blue Is the Warmest Colour, I was ready for something a bit more stimulating, such as a pile of needlework and an episode of Murder, She Wrote.

Blue, now streaming on Netflix and Amazon, won the Palme d’Or at last year’s Cannes Film Festival and enjoys a 90 percent “fresh” rating on the Web site, Rotten Tomatoes. This near-universal acclaim mystifies me. I would chalk it up to the fact that most film critics are horny, middle-aged men, were it not for the fact that I am a horny, middle-aged man (well, sometimes).

This overhyped, NC-17 version of Dawson’s Creek does have a few positive attributes:

The lead actress, Adele Exarchopoulos, is cute, in a Bugs Bunny-overbite kind of way. She is fine as a French high-school girl discovering adulthood and sexuality courtesy of an older lesbian, played by Lea Seydoux, who is superb. Both actresses excel at the actual craft of acting and at performing pornographic, lesbian “scissors” techniques in bed.

No, the fault here lies with director Abdellatif Kechiche, who was badly in need of 1) a strict mother on the set, and 2) an even stricter film editor. Kechiche, obviously in love with the youthful Adele’s face, devotes roughly 45 minutes of his movie to close-ups of Adele as she pouts, looks pensive, looks sad, looks confused. The explicit sex scenes are at least a respite from the endless face shots.

Again, the main actresses are good and certainly photogenic, but they aren’t interesting enough to sustain such a wispy story for an excruciating three hours. It’s just girl meets girl, girl loses girl, blah blah blah. The perils of young love. Tears and heartbreak.

At the Telluride Film Festival in September, Seydoux and Exarchopoulos were asked what it was like acting for porn direc— uh … the great auteur Kechiche. “It was horrible,” said Seydoux. When I realized, about two hours into Blue Is the Warmest Colour, that I still had to endure another hour, I felt exactly the same way.

Grade: C-

(Editor’s note: For all of the Al Bundys out there, we are including lots of screen captures from the infamous lesbian-sex scene, thereby sparing you the chore of actually watching the film.)

Director: Abdellatif Kechiche Cast: Lea Seydoux, Adele Exarchopoulos, Salim Kechiouche, Aurelien Recoing, Catherine Salee, Benjamin Siksou, Mona Walravens, Alma Jodorowsky Release: 2013

Watch Trailers (click here)

11Feb

The Act of Killing

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Watching The Act of Killing, I learned that septuagenarian Anwar Congo, a genial-looking grandfather who lives in North Sumatra, has trouble sleeping. Anwar, once a prominent member of an Indonesian death squad, has bad dreams about a man he beheaded, and whose lifeless eyelids Anwar neglected to close before he drove off into the night. Anwar estimates that, beginning in the mid-1960s, he personally executed 1,000 people. But Anwar can take comfort because in much of Indonesia he and his elderly comrades are much respected.

These death-squad men are bad enough, but for me the most frightening aspect of The Act of Killing, Joshua Oppenheimer’s Oscar-nominated documentary, is the society in which aging “gangsters” – men who carried out mass killings, supposedly with the goal of fighting communism – are not just tolerated, but often celebrated. Just as in Nazi Germany, this type of genocide couldn’t happen without the approval, tacit or overt, of the society in which it occurs. It seems to be a nasty trait of the human race that, although we might not perpetrate violence ourselves, we get a vicarious thrill from watching others do so.

With the help of a friend, Anwar Congo playfully re-enacts one of his killings

Congo says he has nightmares about the atrocities and, apparently, he does get physically ill in the film while revisiting a killing ground. But at other times, he seems just as unconcerned about his past as does most everyone else.

Oppenheimer apparently tricked Congo and his friends into discussing their sordid past by leading them to believe that they would, with the filmmakers’ help, create a Hollywood-style movie. Everyone in Indonesia loves the movies, and Anwar is especially fond of John Wayne and The Godfather. The “movie-making” scenes in this film – including re-enactments of Anwar’s nightmares – are surreal and disturbing.

Anwar (right) and fellow gangster Adi Zulkadry get the Hollywood treatment

Horrifying as the story of these men is, it’s hard to sit back and be too judgmental. American movies inspired these guys; American propaganda demonized the communists (allegedly the target of the massacres, although anyone who fell into disfavor with the military or the gangsters was subject to execution) and, I suppose, made Anwar and his pals our “allies.” But they were poor, uneducated, and without resources, so should we be surprised that in their “fight against communism,” they used not ideology but rather Brando and Pacino as role models? Grade: A

Director: Joshua Oppenheimer Featuring: Anwar Congo, Herman Koto, Syamsul Arifin, Ibrahim Sinik, Yapto Soerjosoemarno, Safit Pardede, Jusuf Kalla, Adi Zulkadry, Soaduon Siregar Release: 2012

An Indonesian television program celebrates Anwar (standing)

Watch Trailers (click here)

07Feb

Amour

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Reasons you should watch this depressing French drama:

1) It’s good for you because, unlike most movies, it addresses the issue of death in a realistic manner. It’s a glimpse at what many of us have to look forward to – and that future ain’t particularly pretty, kids.

2) It boasts two outstanding performances by French actors Jean-Louis Trintignant and Emmanuelle Riva as married music teachers whose retired lifestyle goes from comfort to trial when one of them falls ill.

3) If you’re not sure where you stand on the issue of euthanasia, this film might help you make up your mind.

4) It will remind you that most of the real heroes in life are not found in newspaper headlines.

Reason you won’t likely watch Amour more than once:

It’s long. Yes, it’s not the kind of film we are supposed to “enjoy,” but it probably doesn’t require an unflinching two hours and seven minutes to make its point about love, commitment, and compassion.

Movies are usually about escapism. Amour is anti-escapism, but watching two old people go through their daily existence has rarely been so riveting. Grade: A-

Director: Michael Haneke Cast: Jean-Louis Trintignant, Emmanuelle Riva, Isabelle Huppert, Alexandre Tharaud, William Shimell, Ramon Agirre, Rita Blanco, Carole Franck Release: 2012

Watch Trailers and Clips (click here)

03Feb

Reviews in Short: February 2014

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Penthouse North (aka Blindsided)

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Michelle Monaghan plays a blind woman who is terrorized in her New York City apartment by criminals looking for illegal goods. If that sounds familiar, you might have seen Wait Until Dark, in which Audrey Hepburn plays a blind woman who is terrorized in her New York City apartment by criminals looking for illegal goods. No good reason to check out this version, although Michael Keaton is cheekily entertaining as one of the bad guys. Release: 2013 Grade: C

*****

Jug Face

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Jug Face opens with two hot young people having sex. Soon thereafter, we learn that these two are brother and sister. That’s different, I thought. We then discover that the horny siblings are members of a backwoods clan who worship something called “the pit.” That’s different, I thought again. Jug Face strayed just far enough from run-of-the-mill horror that I was intrigued — until cheap special effects and a threadbare plot betrayed its low-budget origins. (Bonus trivia: This movie answers the question, “Whatever happened to Sean Young?”) Release: 2013 Grade: C

*****

Chop

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Lance is a former drug addict trying to get his act together. Problem is, he’s offended someone, and that someone has a bone to pick with Lance — quite literally, as it turns out, and Lance’s life soon becomes a nightmare of blackmail, torture, and missing fingers. For awhile, when Lance is toyed with by a stranger who refuses to tell him what he’s done wrong, Chop is delicious black comedy, and actors Will Keenan and Timothy Muskatell are amusing duelists. But then director Trent Haaga decides to cater to the gore-lovers in our midst, and the film devolves into a live-action Itchy & Scratchy Show. Release: 2011 Grade: C+

*****

House of Tolerance

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A visual feast — and not just because of the female flesh on display. The bordello sets, art direction, and leisurely pace capture a bygone world (1899-1900) that’s both seductive and soulless, as director Bertrand Bonello concentrates on the cloistered, dead-end lives of a dozen high-class Parisian prostitutes and their indentured servitude to wealthy clients. The photography is gorgeous and the actors are top-notch, but the movie itself, like transactions in a fancy brothel, is a bit cold. Release: 2011 Grade: B+

*****

Cottage Country

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Must be tough living next door to the country that is home to Hollywood, the world’s premiere manufacturer of motion pictures. That might give the film industry in your own country an inferiority complex. I don’t know how else to explain Canada, which cranks out the most peculiar movies. Cottage Country is a black comedy — in theory — about an engaged couple caught up in grisly murders at a rustic lakeside retreat, but its mix of yuks and yuck is a herky-jerky mess. Release: 2013 Grade: C-

*****

Sister

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Sister is one of those slice-of-life dramas that rise or fall depending on how much emotion you invest in the main characters. In this case, we watch as a family of two — 12-year-old Simon and twentysomething Louise — struggle to get by in the shadow of a posh Swiss mountain resort, Simon by stealing from rich guests and Louise by, well, not much. I cared about the two of them, a bit, but not enough to compensate for the film’s slow stretches and a fairly predictable plot. Release: 2012 Grade: B-

*****

Deep Water

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In 1968, while competing in a sailing race around the globe, a mild-mannered businessman named Donald Crowhurst encountered problems with his boat. Buckling to intense personal and professional pressures, and with no hope of winning the race, for a time Crowhurst managed to excite a breathless British press (and the world) by posting false progress reports. Today, Crowhurst is a historical footnote, but this documentary about an English everyman who bit off more than he could chew, with tragic results, is both sad and thought-provoking. Release: 2006 Grade: B+

20Jan

The Hunt

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I wouldn’t want to be a Little League coach, or a Big Brother, or a grade-school teacher. The consequences for an adult male in those occupations who falls under suspicion of improper behavior, or, as Mads Mikkelsen discovers in The Hunt, sexual misconduct with a child, are simply too harrowing.

Director-writer Thomas Vinterberg makes clear from the outset that Mikkelson, as Danish kindergarten teacher Lucas, is innocent of all wrongdoing when a 5-year-old girl innocently leads another teacher to believe otherwise. Once the gossip mill begins to churn in the village where Lucas lives and works, his situation goes from unsettling to life-threatening.

Watching The Hunt, I was reminded of the American film Prisoners, in which another adult male is suspected of kidnapping children. The Hollywood approach to a film like this includes violence, gore, and narrative “twists.” The goal, apparently, is to shock and awe the audience, because the story itself is not enough. The European approach – at least in this film – is to eschew twists and gore (there is some limited violence) and instead focus on characters. The result is a gripping, realistic drama. There are no great surprises in this movie, but there are no head-scratching, “yeah, right” moments, either.

The only negative for me about The Hunt is its ending, which seems too pat and reassuring – at least, that is, until the final shot. Grade: A-

Director: Thomas Vinterberg Cast: Mads Mikkelsen, Thomas Bo Larsen, Annika Wedderkopp, Lasse Fogelstrom, Susse Wold, Anne Louise Hassing, Lars Ranthe, Alexandra Rapaport Release: 2012

Watch the Trailer (click here)

02Jan

Reviews in Short: January 2014

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You’re Next

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Anyone who subscribes to a movie-streaming service like Netflix can tell you this: There is no shortage of low-budget horror flicks. To stand apart, a good chiller must either offer something new (The Blair Witch Project) or excel at generating suspense (anything from director James Wan). You’re Next, yet another home-invasion story, does neither. It has decent production values and competent acting, but like too many films in this genre, it substitutes gore for genuine fear and dishes up characters who do unbelievably stupid things. Release: 2013 Grade: C-

*****

Prisoners

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I am imagining a pre-production meeting for Prisoners. Suit A: “Excellent story. Two daughters go missing and we then explore the grief of their families.” Suit B: “Sure, but that’s not enough. Audiences expect thrills, so let’s toss in a convoluted serial-kidnapper angle. And we need some snakes in the movie.” Suit C: “Sounds good, but young people want blood and guts, so let’s include some graphic torture scenes.” And so we got Prisoners, a good-looking, well-acted production that’s too clever by half and too long by about 30 minutes. Snakes? My eyes are still rolling. Release: 2013 Grade: B

*****

Insidious: Chapter 2

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I’ve praised director James Wan (see above), but I’m going to stop doing that because after watching this tepid sequel to Wan’s creepy Insidious, it’s clear that he’s lost his mojo. Uninspired and clichéd (pianos play themselves; battery-powered toys turn themselves on), Insidious: Chapter 2 finds the Lambert family once again beset by evil spirits — and Wan recycling scare tactics from better chillers, including his own. Release: 2013 Grade: C

*****

North Face

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I have no idea how much of this fact-based German film about an ill-fated mountain-climbing expedition involves stunt work, or how much of it is special effects, but the result is hair-raising — especially if you have a fear of heights. A subplot about Austrian-German loyalty to Hitler in 1936 is distracting, but once the characters begin climbing the mountain … damn. Release: 2008 Grade: B+

*****

The Bling Ring

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“The Bling Ring,” in case you’ve forgotten, was a band of young Californians who gained notoriety for burglarizing the homes of Hollywood’s rich and famous, including Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Sofia Coppola’s film is curiously flat yet watchable. We observe these vapid young people as they observe (and burgle) their celebrity role models — and none of us learn a thing of value. Release: 2013 Grade: B-