Monthly Archives: May 2014

Middleton

 

The British royals don’t like it when media publishes pictures like this one, in which Kate Middleton had a wardrobe malfunction, so here you go.

 

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Eden

 

CNN’s Brooke Baldwin interviewed I Dream of Jeannie star Barbara Eden and mistook her for Bewitched’s Elizabeth Montgomery.  This is what happens when you let a young puppy like Baldwin interview a Baby Boomer icon:

“Will you wiggle your nose for me?” – Baldwin

“Well, that was the other girl.  I didn’t wiggle.” – Eden

 

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Lena

 

I can’t imagine any human male willingly going anywhere near her ass, so I guess we can’t blame her for getting excited when something else does.

 

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Jerk Politicians of the Week

 

Cheney

Dick Cheney, who inexplicably feels qualified to criticize the current administration, called Obama “weak.”

 

Kerry

John Kerry called Edward Snowden a coward for not returning to America to face “justice.”  Kerry knows damn well that espionage laws allow for no such thing.

 

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Cuban

 

I never thought I’d feel the urge to defend the owner of a Dallas sports team but, poor Mark Cuban.  He made the mistake of ignoring political correctness and speaking the truth about race, and now he’s getting hammered.

I would love to place some of these self-righteous, cable-news talking heads on an inner-city street at midnight, alone, and then see how gallant they are when approached by a group of A) teenage, hoodie-clad black guys, or B) teenage, tattooed white skinheads.

 

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Radu Florescu

Anagram

 

I’m not sure that I believe this guy is really “dead.”  I mean, look at him.  Plus, his name is an anagram of Rufos Dracule.

 

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Tara

 

This heroic cat business is forcing some of us to rethink our opinion of felines.  Good-guy cats and villainous dogs?  Has hell frozen over?

Now they are saying that the cat is slated to throw out the first pitch at a ballgame.  No word on whether or not she is a southpaws.

 

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Kiss

 

It was nice to see so much media attention given to The Kiss this week.  As usual, we here at grouchyeditor were ahead of the curve, having shined the spotlight on Thomas Edison’s groundbreaking 1896 movie as our “Free Flick of the Week” for March 28, 2011.

 

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Walters

 

Barbara Walters retiring?  Yeah, right.  I’m betting that she will vanish from the scene just like Larry King vanished from the scene.

 

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Maron

 

If you are a middle-aged, homely comedian – but you do have a successful TV show – one of the perks is that you get to write love scenes for yourself and hot young actresses.  If you don’t believe that, just ask Marc Maron, above, and Louis C.K., below.

 

Louie4

 

 

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One of the circus acrobats injured in a “human chandelier” act that went bad last week is named Samantha Pitard.

 

Circus


Because we will go to any extreme to create an awful pun, we thought we’d mention that, in the picture above, it’s quite possible that one of the girls is being hoisted by her own Pitard.

 

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Huff4

 

They claim the magic age is 70, but I can attest that it happens much earlier than that.

 

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Jessica Alba told Glamour magazine why she has a no-nudity clause in her film contracts:  “I don’t want my grandparents to see my boobs,” Alba explained.  “That’s it.  It would be weird at Christmas.  And I mean, really, if you look at the movies I have done, getting naked would never elevate the picture.”

I guess Jessica didn’t mind her grandparents seeing her butt-ass-naked spanking scene in The Killer Inside Me, pictured below.  

 

Alba1

Alba2

 

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Public Service Announcement:  Our Web-site host announced that it will stop providing that service in June.  We here at grouchyeditor are working feverishly to migrate this site to a new location, but in the meantime, if you visit us and your computer explodes, you’ll know why.

 

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Don Jon 

       Don1  Don2

 

Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Jon, a shallow bartender who is addicted to porn. Scarlett Johansson is the spoiled “princess” who wants Jon under her thumb, and Julianne Moore is a lonely widow out to save him from both porn and bad relationships.  The message is a good one, but unless you buy into the Gordon-Levitt and Moore hook-up – I didn’t – it falls a bit short as romantic comedy.  Release:  2013  Grade:  B

 

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Captain Phillips

Captain1Captain2

 

Hollywood has always been good at producing the fact-based action movie – provided the script isn’t too beholden to actual facts.  I have no idea how accurate Captain Phillips is as it dramatizes a 2009 cargo-ship hijacking off the coast of Somalia, but it’s tense and exciting – think Dog Day Afternoon on the high seas – and Tom Hanks’s captain is, as Hanks characters so often are, a man you can cheer for.  Release:  2013  Grade:  B+

 

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Miami Heat v Oklahoma City Thunder - Game One

 

Last week we showed how Delino DeShields’s face exploded when struck by an errant baseball.  This week, we show how NBA commissioner Adam Silver’s ears exploded when exposed to an audiotape of Clippers owner Donald Sterling.

 
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Winton
 

60 Minutes did a great piece about a 104-year-old Brit who saved 669 children during World War II.  Nicholas Winton, above right, was a stockbroker. Hard to believe that, once upon a time, someone in that now-reviled profession could act heroically.  Speaking of stockbrokers …

 

Gasparino

 

“It’s the reputational damage that this administration has done to Wall Street.  Wall Street is considered … like the devil, to most people’s mind. One of the reasons why is the constant attacks.”  Fox correspondent Charles Gasparino, above, explaining Wall Street’s resentment toward Obama.

 

Oh, boo hoo.  If only the rest of us would stop being so mean to the bankers and stock analysts on Wall Street, those selfless patriots who had nothing to do with the financial collapse.  Perhaps if we apologized they would eventually forgive us and things could go back to normal.
 

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Quote of the Week:

 

“Drive yourself to Oberrickenbach …. Man, can you imagine being in a spelling bee in Germany?” – cowboy Cord or cowboy Jet – I can’t tell them apart – struggling with spelling and geography in Switzerland on The Amazing Race.

 

 

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George Clooney got engaged to Amal Alamuddin, below left.  I had no idea that the late, great Hugh Griffith, below right, had a daughter. 

 

                                     Alamuddin          Hugh

 

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