Monthly Archives: July 2014

Johnson

 

“I do have a little bug in my crotch when it comes to [Bob] Beckel.” — Sonnie Johnson, above, being her usual moronic-yet-amusing self on Red Eye.

 

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Chris Matthews in an MSNBC commercial: “Liberalism always wins, eventually.”

I assume he’s talking about politics, not MSNBC ratings.

 

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.                 Moore   Streisand

 

Hypocrites of the Week:  Michael Moore and Barbra Streisand

 

You don’t get to chew up that many resources – big mansions, chauffeured limos, private planes — and then get to lecture the rest of us about our wasteful ways.

 

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Tantaros

 

I realize that they were just pretending, but I nearly had a heart attack Friday when the cast of Fox’s The Five played “if you were president” and the camera settled on Andrea Tanteros (above). 

The prospect of a “President Tanteros” frightens me more than any solar flare that might gobble up the Earth.

 

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Oldman

 

Gary Oldman Calls Plane Crash “Feel-Good Story,”

Cracks Jokes About Israeli Ground Invasion

 

Actor Gary Oldman on Friday said that the plane crash in Ukraine that killed 298 people gave him “a warm feeling inside,” and that Israel’s ground invasion “allows me to sleep better at night.”

Oldman, speaking to a Tea Party gathering in …

 

Aww, who are we kidding?  This is a fake story.  We are just envious of all the attention that recent hoaxes have been getting, such as the caller who told MSNBC’s Krystal Ball on live TV that the airplane was brought down “by a blast of wind from Howard Stern’s ass,” or the bogus Empire News story about Netflix’s decision to “cancel” Orange Is the New Black.

 

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Dear President Obama:

I voted for you twice, but here’s your report card for your second term:   D

 

Dear Fox News:

Yep, you are correct when you say Obama has been doing a terrible job.  But here’s the thing: That does not mean that Obama voters now see things your way, because your way is still worse.

 

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The Future of The New York Times - 2012 SXSW Music, Film + Interactive Festival

 

Jill Abramson was interviewed by Fox’s Greta Van Susteren and said that she wasn’t sure why she was fired from her editor post at the New York Times.

I think I know the reason:  It had to be that horrible drawl of hers.  If I had to listen to Abramson’s bizarre, irritating voice every day, I’d can her, too.

 

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“This woman makes Ron Burgundy look like Walter Cronkite.” – Bernie Goldberg, relishing the opportunity to take a shot at Krystal Ball and MSNBC.

 

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Lots of bad news this week, but at least we got a bit of good news, courtesy of the NSA:

 

NSA

 

 

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Lemonade

 

 

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Worst

 

Hell has frozen over.  Three sitcoms premiered recently, and I didn’t hate any of them.

In fact, I might even watch them again, especially You’re the Worst, if only to find out how far FX will go in its crusade to lead basic cable out of PG-13 territory and into R-rated sex and nudity.  Oh, the other two promising sitcoms?  Married, and Welcome to Sweden.

 

Worst2

 

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by Michael Hastings

Magazine

 

Michael Hastings’s roman a clef about his days as a young intern at Newsweek magazine is very much a product of his generation:  full of snark, cynicism, and — man, I’m getting tired of this one — “irony.”  Hastings, who famously brought down General Stanley McChrystal with a Rolling Stone article, in Magazine creates thinly veiled characters that skewer former real-life colleagues like Fareed Zakaria and Jon Meacham, exposing their gung-ho support of Bush’s war in Iraq, and revealing how ego and career trump ethics and morality in the world of Big Media.

But Hastings the news reporter’s book is short on motivation and depth of character, which are the novelist’s bread and butter.  Are the editors he mocks truly so one-dimensional and without, apparently, any redeeming qualities?  Hastings’s novel is not, however, short on something else:  extremely graphic, off-putting descriptions of one character’s sex fantasies.  Weird.  And yuck.

 

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We haven’t checked in lately with the gang on Big Brother.  Let’s see what the houseguests are up to:

 

Brittany

 

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Orange

 

Emmy Thoughts:

 

I have no clue how the Emmy people can possibly come up with their nominations.  Now that there are 4,752 channels on cable, satellite, cell phones, tablets, and the kitchen sink, who has time to watch every show?

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I am happy to see Orange Is the New Black get Emmy love.  It’s an excellent show and is unlike pretty much everything else on TV.  Assuming, of course, that you have time to watch everything else on TV.

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Fans of Orphan Black are outraged that series star Tatiana Maslany was ignored.  I don’t know.  Maslany is good, but mostly Orphan is a special-effects gimmick show.  Being upset that Maslany wasn’t nominated is like being upset that Hayley Mills didn’t win an Oscar for The Parent Trap.  I take that back; I am upset that Hayley Mills didn’t win an Oscar for The Parent Trap.

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Everyone is upset about some show or some actor who got snubbed.  Me, too.  I would have given a nod to Lilyhammer, which has been overshadowed by its trendier cousins on Netflix, House of Cards and Orange Is the New Black.

 

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Silly me.  I had no idea that the word “Chinaman” is considered offensive, as poor Bob Beckel found out on The Five this week.  Does that mean “Frenchman” is also a no-no?

 

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Let’s see what Paola and Victoria are up to on Big Brother:

 

Paola

 

Victoria1      Victoria2

 

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Tiny

Tiny1Tiny2

 

There’s something romantic about chucking it all and adopting a back-to-nature existence, but I’m not sure I could follow the example of the young couple in Tiny who spend a year building a 130-square-foot cabin to call home in Colorado.  They filmed their project, which is part of a “tiny house” movement in which ecologically minded (or financially strapped) folk build and live in miniature homes.  It’s a fantasy with allure, but — there’s not enough room for my books.  Give me Dick Proenneke’s cabin in Alaska, or perhaps Jim Rockford’s trailer on the beach – small, certainly, but not that small.  Release:  2013  Grade:  B+

 

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Black Rock

Black1Black2

 

It’s “girls’ night out” from hell for three women whose bonding trip to a deserted isle goes sour when they encounter some Iraq war vets.  Rock asks some good questions: Is a woman ever partly responsible for her own sexual assault? Is every military veteran deserving of our respect?  But after an intriguing setup, director-writer-star Katie Aselton’s story degenerates into a silly, quite literal, battle of the sexes.   Release: 2013  Grade:  B-

 

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KimK

 

It’s the Fourth of July and America is divided.  Other countries dislike us; some even hate us.  I blame this on:  the Internet and the Kardashians.  Not necessarily in that order.

In this country, 99-percenters watch the awful Kardashians and resent the class they symbolize, the greedy 1-percenters.  In other countries, they see the awful Kardashians and hate all Americans.

We must get rid of the Kardashians.  Or the Internet.

 

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CNN is running a series about the 1960s.  Because if there is one part of American history that has been consistently ignored, it is the 1960s.

 

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Sharon

 

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Sklar

We removed the pictures, even though we thoroughly approve of her “pubic image.”

 

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