Daily Archives: August 14, 2010

OReilly          Aniston

Poop List:  Female Honoree — Jennifer Aniston

 

It takes a lot to get me to side with Bill O’Reilly, but not this week.  Jennifer Aniston, plugging a new movie in which a woman gets pregnant using a sperm donor, shared this bit of wisdom:  “Women are realizing it more and more, knowing that they don’t have to settle with a man just to have that child.”  She went on, “And, of course, many women dream of finding Prince Charming, but for those who’ve not yet found their Bill O’Reilly, I’m just glad science has provided a few other options.”

O’Reilly had said that Aniston’s original comments were “destructive to our society … diminishing the role of the dad.”  He added, “I think men get hosed all day long in the parental arena.”

O’Reilly is correct and Aniston is acting the pampered movie star whose love life isn’t everything she expected.  Imagine if a male celebrity (say, Mel Gibson) suggested that women should just give birth and then turn the kids over to men for child raising.

 

Santana

Poop List:  Male Honoree — Johan Santana

 

Yawn.  Another week, and another jock getting his wrist slapped for alleged sexual assault.  OK, even if the Mets pitcher is innocent of the assault, he still got busted cheating on his wife.

 

Slater

Too Tired to Poop List:  Steven Slater

 

I am already sick of this guy.  You made a grand exit once.  Now do it again, please.

 

*****

 

Worthless Technology

Security cameras      Every time my local news anchor asks me to keep an eye out for some culprit caught on camera, often in a convenience store, the picture looks like this:

 

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Or this:

 

Camera1

 

These “security” pictures are about as helpful as erectile dysfunction.  Speaking of which …

 

Erect1 Erect2 Erect3

 

How desperate are some men for better nookie?  These are the potential side effects of something called sildenafil:

“Some patients experienced a sudden loss of some or all of their vision … the vision loss was permanent in some cases … there have been reports of heart attack, stroke, irregular heartbeat, bleeding in the brain or lungs, high blood pressure, and sudden death in men who took sildenafil for erectile dysfunction.”

 

Wouldn’t you rather just take a cold shower?

 

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