Tagged: grouchyeditor.com

SNL1

SNL2

 

Saturday Night Live’s skit on “The Adventures of Young Ben Carson” was surprisingly funny. There is something very, very … off … about Carson. At least with Trump, you have a pretty good idea exactly what kind of crazy you’re dealing with.

 

*****

 

Apparently it’s a no-no to show female nipples on basic cable, but if Lady Gaga wants to get butt-fucked on American Horror Story … bottoms up!

 

AHS1

 

*****

 

“Radical Islamic terrorism.”

There. I said it. Hopefully, all of the conservative pundits on Fox News are happy now.

 

“Terrorist mastermind.”

There. I said it. Probably, MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell is apoplectic again.

 

But seriously … if the media stopped saying “terrorist mastermind” and Obama began saying “radical Islamic terrorism,” would all of our problems go away?

 

*****

 

Poll

 

*****

 

Rachel Maddow was in the middle of a report on the Mali terror attack when this picture flashed briefly on the screen:

 

Wedding

 

I’m sure it was meant as some kind of subliminal message, but for the life of me, I can’t figure it out.

 

© 2010-2020 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Share

Miss Meadows

Meadows

 

One odd duck of a movie, part quirky black comedy, part vigilante crime drama. There’s a fine line between lovably eccentric and flat-out annoying, and Katie Holmes can’t quite pull off the former as a troubled schoolteacher who divides her time between correcting strangers’ grammar and mowing down neighborhood thugs. Not sure who thought that mixing this tap-dancing, pistol-packing Mary Poppins with creepy sex offenders was a good idea, but I couldn’t wait for the end credits so I could say “toodle-oo.”   Release: 2014  Grade: D+

 

*****

 

John Wick

Wick

 

A retired hit man (Keanu Reeves) goes ballistic when gangsters snuff out his mutt and steal his car in this mindless shoot-‘em-up for people who are too lazy to play video games. Clunky dialogue and an impressive waste of acting talent (Willem Dafoe, Ian McShane, Michael Nyqvist) also distinguish this mind-numbing waste of time. Hey, I don’t like it when they kill the dog, either, but this is ridiculous.  Release: 2014  Grade: F

 

*****

 

Black Sea

Black Sea

 

Jude Law plays a recently fired salvage skipper who leads a band of miscreants on a risky mission to steal gold bars from a Nazi submarine resting on the bottom of the Black Sea.  It’s a decent little thriller, and proof that you don’t need a big budget to make an exciting action movie – just some good performances and a script that isn’t too far-fetched. Release: 2015  Grade: B

 

© 2010-2020 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Share

Dutch1

 

Hi kids! See the picture of the man? He is a very funny man. He is from a country called the Netherlands.

The man watches movies. He watches movies that have lots of poop and pee and boobies and bad words. The man watches those naughty movies so that you don’t have to …

 

Actually, I don’t know the man’s name – let’s call him “Dutch.” Dutch is one amusing dude. He is the brains behind a YouTube channel called “Horrible Reviews,” which will never be confused with Siskel and Ebert. Unlike so many film critics, there is nothing superior or “know-it-all” about Dutch. With a shrug or a dazed expression, he often admits that he has no idea what the day’s movie is supposed to be about. Metaphors and symbolism? Who cares? The question for Dutch is: Is the movie disturbing – in a good way?

Dutch is much like the doofus who could be sitting next to you on the sofa, struggling for meaning after having just endured The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence). He is the college roommate who stops his constant movie-watching only to fetch more beer from the refrigerator. Dutch reviews nasty stuff like A Serbian Film from what appears to be a couch in his parents’ basement.

 

.     a       b

 

Gap-toothed, stubble-chinned Dutch (I tried to unearth his real name, but he apparently guards it carefully) adheres to a standard format in his “disturbing films” series; each video there are at least 18 of them now is less than 15 minutes in length. Dutch sits on his sofa behind his coffee table, bottle of beer or vodka at hand, and watches five infamous movies, the kind of flicks that Ebert might call “vile” but that attract, often inexplicably, a rabid following (see partial list, above).

In a related video, Dutch explained his work routine: “Chunks of the reviews are often already more or less written in my head while taking showers. You know how that goes.”

Dutch is more intelligent than his beer-guzzling, sofa-hugging image implies. With his broken English and profanity-laced voiceovers, he might not be the most eloquent of film critics, but he knows an entertaining flick when he sees one. He knows, for example, the difference between a truly “disturbing” film and one that is merely “disgusting” (think bodily fluids). And if the day’s selection is a bore, he’ll tell you so.

Dutch is Joe Bob Briggs – remember him? – for the Internet age, but funnier. His channel has 95,000 subscribers and more than 16 million views. You might take a pass on his recommendations, but I’m guessing you’ll give Dutch himself a thumbs up.

 

Click here for “The Most Disturbing Movies Ever”

 

Dutch5

 

© 2010-2020 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

Share