Category: Weekly Reviews

 

The Fruit Loops seem to be winning.

My next-door neighbor, Minneapolis, is planning to abolish the police. The police, according to Minneapolis’s city council, will be replaced by some amorphous, vague, pie-in-the-sky groups of benevolent neighborhood patrols.

They want to get rid of the cops and figure out the rest later. Oh, boy.

I might have to move.

 

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The only winners in our brave new world are the usual suspects: the so-called “elite.” While the rest of us go without police, they will be fine with their private security. They will also be fine because, while the little people fight among themselves over what scraps the economy provides them, and fight over the police, and over race, and gender, the “elite” will watch their stocks increase in value.

Divide and conquer? More like distract and prevail.

 

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Once upon a time, I thought (foolishly) that perhaps Bernie could stem the root of all our evil: income inequality. But then Bernie went off the radical-left cliff. Later, I thought that perhaps Trump could help the little guy. But Trump seems more interested in helping out his big-business golf buddies.

And so here we are, still looking for a hero.

 

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At any rate, the media continues to pour poisonous Kool-Aid. Who is helping them pour, and who is drinking it?

 

Pouring the Kool-Aid –

 

Ilhan Omar

Keith Ellison

LeBron James

 

Drinking the Kool-Aid –

 

Drew Brees

Roger Goodell

College kids

This idiot woman:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pouring and Drinking –

 

Twitter

 

Laughing at Us –

 

China

 

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OK, Hollywood stars, I’ll give up my police department when you give up private security and move to the inner city 

 

 

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Forty million unemployed; riots in the streets of major cities; a pandemic; an extremely important presidential election.

Sounds to me like the crisis stage predicted in The Fourth Turning. 

 

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I guess we shouldn’t be too surprised that the country is falling apart. With the “greatest generation” fading into memory (or fading out of memory), we are now led by an unholy alliance of spineless Baby Boomers and spoiled Millennials. Sigh.

Correction: heavy sigh.

 

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Meanwhile, Tucker Carlson doggedly, admirably continues to call out The Swamp:

 

 

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This doesn’t surprise me. What surprises me is that, while we hear a lot about YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook shutting down conservative voices, not so much with Amazon.

Some years ago, I wrote one of those user “reviews” about a book I purchased from Amazon. The book was conservative in tone, and I had mild praise for it. Emphasis on the word “mild.” But the Powers That Be didn’t like my little review and so, unlike every other review I had posted to the site, that one was deemed unworthy.

Of course, I couldn’t prove any nefarious motive on Amazon’s part. There was no explanation from the Jeff Bezos giant. All I know is that my blurb contained no profanity, nor did it have an inflammatory tone. 

 

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Who gets to ignore coronavirus restrictions: George Floyd protesters and mourners

Who must follow coronavirus restrictions: churchgoers and Republican conventioneers

 

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Every time I see one of those sign-language interpreters — and they are omnipresent these days — I am reminded of that hoax interpreter during a Nelson Mandela memorial in 2013 (above).

I mean, 99 percent of us have no idea what these people are signing. For all we know, they could be saying, “Don’t listen to this fool. Shop at Dave’s Bait and Tackle!”

 

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Everyone — OK, almost everyone — agrees that what happened to George Floyd was outrageous, and the Minneapolis cops need to be brought to justice. But after reading the above account of Floyd’s 2007 home invasion, can we please stop referring to this guy as a “gentle giant”?

Do you think that’s how the victimized woman thinks of him?

 

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Is there anything worse than being a racist in America?

Answer: Yes. Being a person who, with little or no evidence, accuses someone else of being a racist. If you do that you are, well, “human filth” maybe?

I keep hearing that, as a white American, I don’t know what it’s like to be a young black man in America. Can’t argue with that. But here’s the thing: I also don’t know what it’s like to be a cop working a dangerous neighborhood, especially during looting and riots. And neither do you.

 

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Bad timing award to Elon Musk and his astronauts. Sorry boys, but there’s too much crap going down on the mother planet. Get back to us when you land on Mars, and maybe then we’ll pay attention.

 

© 2010-2020 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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Pictured above is the mayor of Minneapolis, Jacob Frey.

Look how pretty he is. He has lovely locks, he is young and handsome, and he cries in front of the TV cameras. He feels your pain, he says. He is the Oprah politician. He is Minneapolis’s own Justin Trudeau.

His city is becoming a pile of rubble. But that’s OK, because he says the right things and he looks amazing.

 

Earlier today, I had the following e-mail exchange with a female relative:

 

 

Perhaps I was a bit insensitive in describing tonight’s potential violence as “gripping TV.” Perhaps I won’t be watching it on my television, after all.

Local news is reporting that anarchists might “target” Minneapolis suburbs — such as the one in which I live. Perhaps I’ll be watching the show out my front window.

 

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The go-to-response of politicians like Frey and Governor Tim Walz when they come under fire for incompetence is always the same: lecture the rest of us.

 

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I don’t understand why Mayor Frey is so upset about all of the unwelcome visitors to his town. Since he presides over a “sanctuary city,” shouldn’t he be happy when outside agitators like antifa show up to help him thumb his nose at federal law?

 

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Memo to politicians:

 

You’ve got to get rid of this double standard in which regular citizens suspected of crimes are immediately arrested and charged, but cops who are suspected … well, the system demands that we wait a few months before we do anything. If we do anything.

You tell the public to be patient. But patience is the problem.

 

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Now that we know that the saliva ejected during the simple act of speaking is a prime means of transmitting coronavirus, just think how many lives were saved at MSNBC when they canned serial spitter Chris Matthews.

 

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Mask Winners and Losers

 

Losers:  People who invested in face-recognition technology

Winners:  Bank robbers

Losers:  Handsome people

Winners:  Ugly people

 

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TV Updates

 

 

Killing Eve airs its season finale this week. Stars Sandra Oh and Jodie Comer get most of the press, and rightfully so, but to me the funniest moments come courtesy of supporting players Fiona Shaw (“Carolyn”) and Kim Bodnia (“Konstantin”), pictured above.

Running gags like Konstantin repeatedly being surprised by women waiting for him in the dark, or non sequiturs like super spy Carolyn sitting on a park bench with her grandson – or is it her grandson? – during a consultation with Eve add inspired lunacy to some otherwise pedestrian scripts.

 

 

I’m not crazy about the Shudder series Creepshow. Too many episodes are either unoriginal from start to finish, or have lame endings. However … I really dug “Lydia Layne’s Better Half” (above). It was very good, boys and ghouls.

I had never heard of the episode’s titular star, Tricia Helfer, so I Googled her and discovered that she has been titular for quite awhile. Not sure how I managed to overlook this former model:

 

 

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Twitter has decided to allow minions of the two Jeffs, Bezos and Zucker, to, in effect, censor Donald Trump’s tweets. Yeah, that’s not asking for trouble.

Oh, and this is the guy who is Twitter’s “head of site integrity”:

 

 

Reminds me of Jacob Frey: another clueless pretty boy.

 

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Why did Zoom become all the rage, and not Skype? Is Skype going the way of MySpace and Friendster, ceding all ground to Zoom the way MySpace and Friendster, both of which predate Facebook, lost out to Mark Zuckerberg’s behemoth?

By the way, I’m with George Jetson in the picture above. I don’t know why the rest of his family (and Astro) seem so enamored of Zoom.

Zoom, in my humble opinion, sucks.

 

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Pundits are speculating that Trump’s refusal to wear a mask is a jab at the media: He doesn’t want to give them the satisfaction of a photo op of his capitulation. He’s even admitted as much.

But not everything is about Trump vs. the media.

Isn’t it more important that Trump – and other elected officials – put their masks where their mouths are to set a good example for the rest of us?

 

**

 

 

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These low Rotten Tomatoes ratings for Escape Room (above) seem a bit harsh:

 

 

The 2019 thriller about six strangers stuck in puzzle rooms from hell combines elements of And Then There Were None and The Game, two of my favorite movies. It’s nowhere near as good as either of those two films, and it certainly has outlandish moments, but mostly it’s fast-paced fun. Better than 51 percent fun.

 

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I realize it’s a cliché to begin any sentence with: “If you had told me six months ago that [fill in your choice of  weirdness here], I wouldn’t believe it!”

But hearing Sean Hannity say “Joe Biden refuses to leave his basement!” has to go in that weirdness category.

 

And yet Biden’s polling numbers have to be — or at least should be — one helluva blow to Trump’s ego. Millions of Americans are so desperate to see Trump ousted that they are willing to vote for a mentally defective old man who is hiding in his basement. Ouch.

 

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Perhaps you think Rip’s criticism of Rachel Levine’s physical appearance is unfair. Yeah, well, so is saving your own mother’s ass while sending everyone else’s parents to nursing-home deathtraps:

 

 

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A little humility is a wonderful thing. For example: I used to routinely praise Rachel Maddow and disparage pundits like Tucker Carlson. Now I find myself doing the reverse.

Apparently I was very wrong in the past. Or I am very wrong now.

Either way, at some point I was/am wrong.

 

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Head-Scratcher of the Week:

 

 

Troy University’s Walter Givhan (above) said that his school established a COVID-19 emergency fund “to assist students, primarily, with those expenses that were completely unexpected — be it rent, utilities, travel, [or] transition to technology.”

Hmmm … rent and utilities are now “completely unexpected”? Should I go into shock when my landlord or cable company wants to get paid next month?

 

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Users of Internet Explorer (poor things) might notice recent problems on this Web site. Problems like hundreds of missing images.

We recently completed a site migration and, of course, it did not go smoothly.

Rest assured, we are working to resolve these issues by (painstakingly, tediously) revising each and every flawed link. Lucky us.

 

© 2010-2020 grouchyeditor.com (text only)

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Into the Night

 

What to Watch

 

Into the Night

Like most disaster epics – especially those with elements of science fiction – Into the Night has its share of silly moments. The plot concerns a handful of airplane passengers who find themselves in a race around the globe to stay one step ahead of the rising sun because, well ….

I have no idea how realistic any of this is, because I’m no expert on solar flares, aviation, solar poles, or people in Europe who speak multiple languages. But I do know that this six-part series is fast-paced fun, and the screenplay manages to dodge many WTF moments by not insulting our intelligence – too much.

 

 

Win the Wilderness: Alaska

Unlike most reality shows, on this one the contestants seem real and they aren’t encouraged to connive, conspire, and showboat for the camera (with one butt-baring exception; see below). The competing couples are quite watchable because the show’s premise is so unusual: Who wants to win not cash but rather a completely new way of life?

An elderly couple (a rather odd pair, in my opinion), Duane and Rena Ose (that’s Duane pictured above), sit in judgment of the plucky Brits, one pair of which must outdo the others in proving their wilderness mettle to win possession of the retiring Oses’ homestead.

The Oses are weird, but the scenery is spectacular and the show’s lack of backbiting and snark is refreshing.

 

 

At one point, contestant Tina Perkins (above) gets separated from her boyfriend. The showrunners seized the opportunity to capture some Tina butt cheeks:

 

 

We’re guessing the producers were inspired by Tina’s Instagram posts:

 

 

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Virus Musings

 

 

It occurs to me that the whole country has been playing Big Brother (above) for two months.

 

Why can’t all of this food that was previously going to restaurants simply be rerouted to grocery stores? Don’t people eat the same amount of food, no matter where they get it?

 

Not sure I understand the “science” behind reports that everyone over the age of 65 is at special risk from the Chinese virus. Is someone who is 64 worry-free? Is 63 somehow safer than 65? Why is 65 the magic number? (Asking for a friend.)

 

People are people, and it’s unrealistic to expect billions of them to maintain social distancing indefinitely. It’s just not going to happen.

 

I suppose now that airlines are forced to increase space between passengers, they will compensate by making seats even smaller.

 

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I don’t want to give them any ideas, but how is it that the social justice warriors haven’t gone after Nutrisystem for Men and A Place for Mom? Doesn’t one discriminate against women and the other against dads?

 

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One reason I can’t watch this show anymore:

 

 

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This week’s misandry brought to you courtesy of Politico:

 

 

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Horrors to Come:

 

In my experience, little kids aren’t real big on following rules and regulations. So what happens when parents bring their rugrats to the store – are the little darlings going to observe social distancing? Will we have to leash them to their parents?

Israeli Defense Minister Naftali Benett had this to say on the subject:

 

 

Here’s the thing: I’m a geezer myself, but it makes more sense, to me, to quarantine old farts like myself rather than 250 million (relatively) healthy young people.

 

**

 

What no one seems to be talking about:

They don’t yet know if your pets can give you the virus. It’s possible that they can.

This does not bode well for the future of Fido.

 

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So, you’re going back to work. Lucky you.

You work in an office or a warehouse or wherever, and about half of your co-workers take the virus very seriously, but the other half think the country is overreacting.

Many of your co-workers ignore social-distancing protocol because they think it’s silly and, just like in pre-pandemic days, they like to get right in your face.

Now what?

 

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“Breakfast, as usual, is more essential than ever.” — Steve Cahillane (above)

 

I’m a bit repulsed by cereal companies or auto dealers trying to piggyback on the reputation of first-responders and other essential workers. I’m sorry, Kellogg’s honcho Steve Cahillane, but your fucking breakfast cereal is not “essential,” breakfast itself is not essential, and you are not essential.

And stop implying that nurses and EMTs are on your payroll.

 

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1.  Exposure to heat and sunlight might quash the deadly coronavirus.

2.  Cigarette smoking might protect you from complications engendered by the virus.

So … everything that battles the damn virus will also give you cancer.

 

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Killing Time in Self Isolation

 

Gran Torino

 

Like many of you, I’ve been watching a lot of TV. I rewatched The Hunt for Red October and Gran Torino. Both movies are dominated by the charisma of their stars, Sean Connery and Clint Eastwood, respectively.

We don’t have movie stars like Connery and Eastwood anymore.

 

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I’ve also been watching a lot of YouTube. Judging by the number of views they get, the big stars on YouTube are often cute girls with vapid personalities. Sure, they are fun to look at, but you also have to listen to them, which often involves much whining and complaining. Pictured below is a typical YouTube star, a chronic complainer named Taylor Skeens.

 

 

Taylor is unhappy with her new apartment. Taylor has ex-boyfriend issues. But you put up with her carping because Taylor has a fine ass:

 

 

Clint and Sean have done lots of promotional work for their movies, but never anything quite like that.

 

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I would be upset about Chris Cuomo and CNN faking Cuomo’s “quarantine,” but I stopped watching CNN a long time ago.

 

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Like you, I have been wondering how this lockdown might affect our nation’s strip clubs:

 

 

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Sorry (not sorry), but I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that I enjoy some of the news reports about people getting shamed – or even arrested – for violating social-distance rules.

Now at least some people understand what it’s like to be a smoker who gets busted for having the temerity to light up in a “no smoking” area.

 

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Trump’s Lies vs. Media Lies

 

Trump frequently lies. For example, he was clearly not being “sarcastic” with his comment the other day about injections.

The media also frequently lies. For example, contrary to what was reported, Trump did not advise anyone to inject anything; he was posing a question.

But the media deservedly catches more flak for its lies. Why is that?

Presidents are judged on their words and their actions. The media’s stock-in-trade is words and words only. So if people approve of Trump’s actions, he gets a pass on his words. But the media? No way, Jose.

 

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Watching the news these days is like seeing the Titanic sink. The only questions are how fast will the country sink, who gets saved, and who finds a lifeboat. Guess who’s finding a lifeboat?

 

 

 

I’m just about to the point where I want every rich, famous, and powerful person in this country to be tossed overboard.

 

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You hate the media because it is a) too pro-Trump or b) too anti-Trump. I hate the media because when there is finally some good news for smokers, it’s ignored:

 

 

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I notice that our “essential” occupations tend to be jobs like truck driver and grocery-store clerk. Most white-collar jobs are “non-essential.” Guess which occupations get the fattest paychecks?

Speaking of checks … it’s been about a month now and I have yet to see any money from Uncle Sam. Have you?

 

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Fifteen years ago, I read a book called The Coming Generational Storm. That was, of course, long before this pandemic. Oh, boy.

Now we can look forward to a new war between the young and the old. We have dwindling resources; do we use them to secure the health of aging Boomers, or to secure the future for Millennials and Gen Z?

 

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I’ve poked fun at Tucker Carlson in the past, but the dude cranks out more provocative stories on a nightly basis than most other journalists do in a month.

Every weeknight, Carlson exposes some outrage, or some villain, that no one else seems to be covering. Everyone else is preoccupied with Trump, Pelosi, and other usual suspects.

 

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Hooray for Hollywood, which is teaming up with a pro-China organization (see yellow arrow, above) to fight the Wuhan virus. Apparently there are no other groups or charities our celebrities think can do a better job.

 

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Dinkle vs. King

 

 

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Netflix’s Ozark (above) might not be quite at the level of Breaking Bad, but its third season comes awfully close.

Third seasons (or fourth seasons, or second seasons) aren’t always so memorable. For example, I am in the process of falling out of love with Babylon Berlin and Money Heist, both of which are beginning to seem slow, repetitive, and bloated.

 

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Joe Biden’s mind has clearly left the building.

I don’t care how much you detest Trump; you can’t put someone with Biden’s level of senility in the Oval Office.

 

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Biggest personal frustrations during this lockdown: Where can I get a fucking mask, and when/where can I get fucking tested?

 

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Surgeon General Jerome Adams (above) looks like an eager-to-please 12-year-old rehearsing a classroom speech. Why did he discourage everyone from wearing masks?

Also, isn’t it awfully easy for our president, who can get tested as often as he likes, to tell the rest of us that wide-scale testing is “not necessary”?

 

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Mark Cuban keeps popping up on Fox News. But I have yet to hear anyone ask the Dallas Mavericks owner if he thinks the NBA should sever ties with China.

 

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Tucker Carlson’s description of the World Health Organization’s director-general (above):

“The head of W.H.O., Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, is a buffoonish villain right out of a Saturday-morning cartoon.”

 

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Inspiring Words from Famous Americans:

 

“Give me liberty, or give me death!” – Patrick Henry

“Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.” – John F. Kennedy

“We’ll see what happens!” – Donald J. Trump

 

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I’ve been critical of Trump today, but I don’t envy him his “biggest decision I’ve ever had to make” about when to re-open the economy.

The biggest decision I currently have to make is whether to keep using Kleenex to wipe myself or to go with the cheap-ass toilet paper I managed to find.

 

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Perhaps David Geffen, Madonna, and other rich and famous jerks should sit down and read Poe’s The Masque of the Red Death (above). Especially Geffen, the billionaire who made the Instagram post below … before the backlash caused him to delete his account.

 

 

 

 

 

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I saw the above headline and was reminded of this Groucho Marx quote:

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don’t know.”

 

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I don’t know about you, but I’m growing tired of all these media reports about white-collar workers forced to work from home during this pandemic. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard news stories that refer to “everyone” working from home.

None of these idiots seem to realize that millions of Americans are not working from home. They aren’t working at all.

 

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Call me a homophobe if you must, but I can do without the male-on-male kissing scenes in Schitt’s Creek, which airs its final episode this week. I don’t expect gays to enjoy, say, Hugh Grant smooching Julia Roberts in a rom-com, so please don’t pressure me into (falsely) claiming that I dig seeing Dan Levy and Noah Reid locking lips in this show.

However … having said that, I can’t imagine a better public-relations show for gay acceptance than this Canadian sitcom. That’s because the characters played by Levy and Reid are so … damn … likable. You will like both of them, and you will want the best for them.

 

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WTF is this? Bill Gates, Anthony Fauci, and Deborah Birx involved in some nefarious scheme to depopulate the world?

Problem is, the past month has been so surreal, so Twilight Zone-like, that it opens one’s mind to all sorts of other things, including conspiracy theories. So, Bill Gates and doctors Fauci and Birx are plotting to depopulate the world? Hey, we are all of us now Charlton Heston in The Omega Man, so anything seems possible.

 

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Good Minnesota Mike:

 

Bad Minnesota Mike:

 

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