Rip Visits Omegle

 

During our lovely pandemic and quarantine, we’ve noticed that many YouTube luminaries have been stuck — creatively and literally. How to create new content when you can’t leave your apartment?

And so a lot of them chose to lower themselves into the cesspool of weird humanity known as Omegle, in which random strangers from around the globe connect to … well, God only knows.

If you are a newbie to Omegle, one of the first things you will notice is that this is a site where all the dicks hang out — literally but rarely creatively. The girls who visit Omegle almost always are treated to (or ambushed by) well-endowed males proudly displaying their sizable sex organs.

But how would they react to Rip van Dinkle and his (according to the New York Post) “shrimpy spigot”? They would, it turns out, react with amusement or, occasionally, indignation. 

 

Rip’s report:

 

“There are a lot of bored girls on Omegle. The ones I encountered fell into two general categories: the lonely, single gals who were generally sitting in their beds, propped up with pillows and cloaked in semi-darkness; and the groups of two or more, generally on Omegle not seeking a soul-mate but rather looking for a laugh. I guess an old dude with a shrimpy spigot is just what the doctor ordered for many of these chicks. 

“I believe these girls are supposed to be at least 18, but it’s impossible to card someone on a computer screen. If any of them looked clearly younger than 18, I vamoosed.”

 

(Click on any picture for a larger view.)

 

 

 

“Hey, do you have money?” the girl on the right asked me while her friend snapped pictures. “I’ll show you my tits for money,” she offered. I didn’t give her any money, but then again, they didn’t give me any money for the photos of my prick.

 

 

Sadly, I did not get to see her tits. Nor her friend’s tits. I am sure, however, that they have lovely tits.

 

 

When I began to drop drawers, girl on the right cried out, “No — not yet, not yet!” Maybe she expected foreplay first?

 

*

 

 

A lonely girl in her bed engaging in some serious penis gazing.

 

*

 

 

 

There were a lot of these hand-to-mouth reactions (girl in the middle, above). Girl on the right took trophy pics. When they got the money shot, one of them cried, “His penis!”

 

*

 

 

Three girls who said they were from Romania. Girls who, without any prompting from me, decided that I should see their boobs. OK by me.

 

 

Not sure if the thumbs-up was for my dick or the girl on the left. 

 

 

When I requested some ass, they declined. “I want to see yours!” one of them said.

 

 

Is she making the small-penis sign? Surely not.

 

 

 

I didn’t think the girl in the middle would show her tits, because she was the most attractive, and the most attractive girl usually knows she doesn’t have to do much to get attention. Happily, I was wrong.

 

*

 

 

Occasionally it was difficult to capture a screen shot with myself and the lovely lass in the same frame, and so, in the picture above and elsewhere in this post, you might notice a generic nudie of Yours Truly that was inserted, just to represent what the girl found so damn funny.

 

*

 

 

To her off-camera girlfriend: “He has a tiny one.” To me: “Oh, my.”

 

*

 

 

This one was intent on capturing trophy pics. She got what she wanted.

 

*

 

 

Of course, there are always some “mean girls.” Her: “Is that your penis? It’s an old man’s penis! I’m gonna throw up.”

 

*

 

 

Super-cute girl above reminded me of Sarah Palin’s daughter, what’s-her-name. She had a look at my dick and said, “Ooooh!”

 

*

 

 

These two looked like sisters. Apparently, they were having trouble seeing my mini-member: “Oh, look at that!” “He had his legs crossed!”

 

*

 

 

And then there were the girls who, without any prompting on my part, decided I should see them with their clothes off. Like this cutie.

 

 

I guess she decided fair was fair. If she was going to ogle an old dude’s penis, then he …

 

 

 

I can only assume that the sight of my manhood made her horny. 

 

 

*

 

 

Two girls here, one of them off-camera. The visible girl was engaged in the serious business of taking pictures.

 

 

*

 

 

“Wait!” cried the girl above. She first wanted to know if I was circumcised. She got to see for herself.

 

*

 

 

Reaction: “Oh!”

 

*

 

 

I guess this chick was more interested in feet than meat. When she saw my Vienna sausage, she quickly clicked away.

 

*

 

 

This guy said that he and his girlfriend would do “anything” for money (my money). Said the girl to me: “Do you have pants on right now?” As you can see from her reaction above, the answer was “no.”

 

*

 

 

Maybe it was the wine talking, but this girl and her friend really wanted to see Rip’s dinkle. At  one point she stood up and modeled her (clothed) body for me, I guess as a sort of inspiration?

 

 

The wine drinker was very persistent. “How old are you?” she asked twice. “Why?” said I. “Because it turns me on,” she said. Yeah, must have been the wine.

 

*

 

 

“Are you naked?” said one. “Oh, yeah, he’s naked,” said the other. 

 

*

 

 

 

“Awww … that’s a little one,” said the girl at left. The girl on the right was too busy staring to comment.

 

*

 

 

This girl was into small-penis humiliation. I’ll let her comments speak for themselves.

 

 

*

 

 

Not sure if those comments came before or after they saw me with my pants pulled down.

 

*

 

 

Girl on the right said she had nude pics and typed in @calikai. I didn’t check it out. But they certainly checked me out.

 

*

 

 

 

“Tatum, this is legendary!” said the girl with the braces, then slowly leaned in to take pictures. Tatum leaned over to have a look.

 

*

 

 

Girl on the left was another one who wanted money. Instead, she got my noodle. “Oh, I see your penis.”

 

*

 

 

Girl on the right: “It is pretty small. Are you proud of that?”

 

 

*

 

 

“Addy come here!” cried the girl above to someone, presumably her sister. “That is a crusty penis,” proclaimed Addy.

 

*

 

 

Girl on the left stood up to display her body, leaning forward and sticking her rear end out. Girl on the right, however, was dismayed. “Santa Claus, why?” she said.

 

*

 

 

This girl was a tease. Seemed like she might show her big boobs, but this was as far as she went.

 

 

*

 

 

These four girls (one is off camera) were not impressed with my package. “It’s tiny as hell,” said one. “That’s what an old man’s pee-pee looks like,” said another one.

 

 

*

 

 

The girl in front kept speaking to me in Spanish, even though she also spoke perfect English. The girl in back just smiled and enjoyed the show.

 

*

 

 

“You got a tiny one? I wanna see. Let’s see it.” Your wish was my command.

 

*

 

 

“You got a little one? Can I see?” Of course.

 

*

 

 

“Grandpa got a shrimp,” said one of them. I think it was Gloria Steinem on the right.

 

*

 

 

Sleepy Head: “How old are you? What are you doing?”

 

 

*

 

 

In a common refrain on Omegle, one of the above girls said she would show me her tits — for money.

 

 

You would think this was the first penis she’s ever seen.

 

 

They enjoyed the show and said they wanted to see ass. I obliged and was rewarded with squeals of approval. Girl on the right: “Do you have a wife? What if your wife walks in?”

 

*

 

 

“He’s so tiny,” said one of the two girls above. “Do a dance,” commanded the other one.

 

 

Picture-taking time.

 

*

 

 

Girl on the left asked for money. Girl on the right was very quiet.

 

 

Girl on the left explains things to her friend: “That’s very tiny.”

 

*

 

 

“I see your ding-a-ling,” said this cutie from the darkness of her bedroom. “It is pretty small.” Thanks.

 

*

 

 

Another girl alone in bed.

 

 

“Ewww — that’s so ugly. It’s so tiny.” To emphasize her point, she made the small-penis sign.

 

**

 

Sometimes the girls would turn the tables on me. Hey, if they wanted to show me their goods, I wasn’t about to complain.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

*

 

 

This girl was in the shower. She was also very aggressive. Sadly, I was not able to see much of her face — or anything else.

 

 

 

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