The Weekly Review: June 16 – 22

“Kenneth, what is the frequency?”

 

UFOs and (possible) space aliens continue to make the news.

Tucker Carlson keeps reporting on them, and YouTube features a wealth of UFO-related videos. President Trump was asked this week about the phenomenon.

If you’re a certain age, none of this is particularly new. You recall the above quote, in which a hapless Dan Rather was accosted by a stranger on the street, and you think: “Aha. Sounds like a question some space alien would pose.”

 

 

First Theory

 

My guess is that the aliens have been observing Earthlings for some time and have decided that we are at a tipping point. What tipped the point is the following: Thanks to the Internet, American Deplorables decided that too much wealth and power is in the hands of too few Americans (the “elite”) and said, “enough!” And so they elected Trump. And so we got Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren.

Meanwhile, also thanks to the Internet, Third World denizens decided that too much wealth and power is in the hands of too few people (Americans and Western Europeans) and said, “enough!” And so they are storming the borders of Western Europe and America.

In other words, if Congolese tribal communities weren’t sitting around watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians on their cell phones, none of this would be happening.

The aliens are simply watching these earthly developments, trying to decide whether or not to step in — or they are just enjoying the show.

 

Second Theory

 

So how do you recognize a space alien? I suspect it is the Sleepy Eye.

Aliens recognize each other on the street by the distinctive-yet-subtle facial feature of one sleepy eye on a human face. Some of these sleepy-eye aliens are in the public eye, so to speak. Two examples:

 

.                         

                                 Sleepy eye on the right                               Sleepy eye on the left

 

Lest you make the mistake of thinking that Sleepy Eye Aliens all disguise themselves as older white males, here is another example:

 

Fox reporter Christina Coleman; sleepy eye on the right

 

So what does any of this have to do with that stranger accosting Dan Rather on the street? It does not appear that Rather has a sleepy eye. Actually, both of his eyes look somewhat sleepy (below).

 

 

My best guess is that Rather had a mote or some other irritation in one of his eyes, and was temporarily afflicted with the alien-recognition cue.

 

**

 

Addendum: If this week’s review seems uncharacteristically off the wall, I blame it on the fact that I am currently reading a book by David Foster Wallace, a famous writer who took his own life in 2008. Wallace was very smart but also a bit weird. I in no way claim that the above post is very smart, but I think we can all agree that it is weird.

 

Addendum 2: I just recalled that there is a small town in Minnesota named Sleepy Eye. My guess is that Sleepy Eye is in reality an alien hub or base of operations.

 

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