The Weekly Review: January 20 – 26

 

From the Department of Life Isn’t Fair

 

Bradley Cooper gets to go home and tap this fanny every night:

 

 

I get to go home and tap myself while looking at pictures of this fanny.

Life isn’t fair.*

 

*

 

Art of the Deal

 

How’s this for a win-win deal?

Louis C.K. agrees to shut up and go away for five years, which should please the left, but only if Kathy Griffin agrees to shut up and go away for five years, which should please the right.

 

*

 

Cave Man?

 

After apparently caving on the partial government shutdown, Donald Trump seems to be having a bad week. Some in the media are saying this is the beginning of his end.

Well, we’ve heard that song before, many times. My guess is that now it’s Trump’s turn. He will come up with something to cheer his base and infuriate his foes, because that’s what Trump does.

 

*

 

Mueller’s Problem …

 

… is that Washington is full of scoundrels – on both sides. As long as he continues to go solely after Trump allies and lets the other side skate, our long national nightmare will persist.

Lock them all up.

 

*

 

I watch cable news and become more and more convinced that we’re on the verge of a civil war.

Then I go to work, or to Target, or to the grocery store, and I look at people and I think, “Nah. These folks don’t seem in the mood for a civil war.”

 

**

 

For some reason, Jets fans are concerned about the physical appearance of their new head coach:

 

 

* Unless of course the rumors are true and one of them is gay and the relationship is a sham in which case, never mind.

 

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