Cinderella (1977)

grouchyeditor.com Cinderella

 

And now for something completely different …

 

grouchyeditor.com Cinderella

 

Once upon a time, Your Humble Reviewer lived in a strange kingdom called Texas. One lonely night he imbibed too much mead and found himself staring at a late-night movie on Cinemax. The movie had lots of nudity and sex, and the story was very silly. Alas, the nasty mead eventually caused Your Humble Reviewer to drift off into dreamland, until …

 

… the following morning, when bits and pieces of the Cinemax movie began to crop up in his foggy memory bank. The film had been called Cinderella, and indeed it featured wicked stepsisters and a fairy godmother and a carriage ride to the big ball. But it also had sex scenes. And music and dancing. Disco-flavored music. Most perplexing of all, it seemed to Your Humble Reviewer that the movie … had not sucked.

 

grouchyeditor.com Cinderella

 

grouchyeditor.com Cinderella

 

Many moons later, in the year 2015 and while he dwelled in a new kingdom called Minnesota, Your Humble Reviewer once again watched Cinderella, which had recently been issued on DVD. And lo and behold, it still didn’t suck. Quite the contrary; parts of this soft-core-porn-musical-comedy were actually a hoot, and the songs and choreography were, well, quite good.

 

The plot:  What, you don’t know the story of Cinderella? The plot in this version is the same, albeit with adults-only alterations. The fairy godmother, for example, is played by black actor Sy Richardson who, as a fun-loving thief, steals every household good in sight and every scene he appears in. The handsome prince, in his quest to find the enchanting Cinderella, slips more than a shoe onto comely maidens. Oh, and then there is the “snapping pussy” ….

 

                grouchyeditor.com Cinderellagrouchyeditor.com Cinderellagrouchyeditor.com Cinderella

.                 grouchyeditor.com Cinderellagrouchyeditor.com Cinderellagrouchyeditor.com Cinderella

In an inexplicable, bizarre dream sequence, this creepy geezer squeezes poor Cinderella’s breasts until they squirt milk.

 

Cheryl “Rainbeaux” Smith plays the beloved lead, which in this telling of the fairy tale requires her to be gullible (check), cute as a button (check), personable (check), and often naked (check and check again). Sadly, Smith’s real life was apparently no fairy tale. According to her Wikipedia biography, a few years after Cinderella, Smith became addicted to heroin, which eventually led to a pair of prison stints and her death from liver disease and hepatitis at age 47.

It’s not likely that NBC will be inspired to produce this version of Cinderella as one of its live musical holiday specials. Along with the voluminous sex and skin, this is a low-budget affair, with bad dubbing, cheesy sets, and dime-store special effects. On the other hand, this 1977 oddity boasts music and songs by Andrew Belling with witty lyrics, an energetic cast, amusing 1970s pop-culture references, and some numbers that are better than what you’ll find in many “legitimate” musicals. It’s all very good-natured and fun.

In the end, of course, they all fuck happily ever after. Merry Christmas.   Grade: B

 

grouchyeditor.com Cinderella

Elizabeth Halsey rides the prince while Linda Gildersleeve, also in her birthday suit, looks on.

 

Director: Michael Pataki   Cast: Cheryl Smith, Yana Nirvana, Marilyn Corwin, Jennifer Doyle, Sy Richardson, Brett Smiley, Kirk Scott, Brenda Fogarty, Elizabeth Halsey, Linda Gildersleeve, Mariwin Roberts, Roberta Tapley  Release: 1977

 

grouchyeditor.com Cinderella

 

Watch the Trailer (click here)

 

grouchyeditor.com Cinderella

grouchyeditor.com Cinderella

This female extra was either the victim of budget cuts (no money for knickers!), or she was married to a producer and had an exhibitionist fetish.

 

grouchyeditor.com Cinderella

Cinderella (right) and the girls check out the prince’s family jewels.

 

grouchyeditor.com Cinderella

grouchyeditor.com Cinderella

 

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2 Comments

  1. Luke Barnett March 16, 2018 4:10 pm  Reply

    I enjoyed this movie so much after I rented it from Scarecrow Video about an hour and a half away from me in Downtown Seattle. maybe you’ve heard of this legendary movie rental store.

    this movie is so much better than Fairy Tales. everything is better than Fairy Tales, the music, the costumes, characters, the nudity, the music, everything. the nudity has this air of beautiful freedom, and voyeuristic, deliciousness to it that really makes it erotic and sensual, sexual, and titillating, and sexually arousing and fulfilling. you know what i mean by voyeuristic, nudity that feels like you shouldn’t be watching it because it’s not for you. movie nudity sadly doesn’t have this kind of nudity in it for the most part. this great feeling that you get while watching nudity in a Friday the 13th film from the ’80s.

    it’s really sad that there still isn’t a good DVD version of Cinderella. somebody needs to do this. remaster it and give it it’s most deserved treatment. uncut, clear video, and crisp sound quality. i don’t think this is a classic film but i definitely like it enough to watch it many more times after i watched it the first time about 10 years ago.

    i hate Desert Island Classics by the way. i bought their version of Dagmar and Co. and got the worst possible version of any movie ever released. It’s so blurry that it looks even less clear than watching a movie on VHS tape!!! and to make it even worse the screen is cut off! you can’t get the full picture, so like an 8th of the screen is missing!? also it looks like it was recorded with a camcorder from a tv screen or something with the way it’s unevenly framed.

    so, from now on i probably will never buy a movie from Desert Island Classics ever again.

    what do you have to say about my feelings about Cinderella?

    • grouchyeditor March 16, 2018 4:17 pm  Reply

      I love “Cinderella,” and I agree with you about nudity in today’s movies vs. nudity in the 1970s and 1980s. Most of the actresses who do nude scenes today seem very blasé about the whole thing, as if it’s no big deal and just a part of the job. But in the old days, there was still a sense of naughtiness about shedding your clothes for the camera, and that showed in the actors’ faces and actions; it was a big deal to them — and so a big deal to us.

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