Monthly Archives: November 2011

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“Joe Paterno is Penn State!”  Or so we kept hearing from football fans distraught over the elderly coach’s firing.  I guess that means that Penn State is composed of clueless assholes.  Guess what, Penn State fans?  The vast majority of Americans don’t give a damn about you or your screwed-up school.  But we do take an interest in child molestation and massive cover-ups.

Penn State is playing a game today to begin the “healing process.” Playing the game to “honor the victims.”  What a load of horse manure.  This school needs to be punished before it can begin its “healing process,” and cancellation of its season would be a good start.

Looking at the bigger picture … outside of the Mafia and the Catholic Church, is there any institution more corrupt than college athletics?

 

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Huff

 

Sadly, my love affair with The Huffington Post seems to be over.  If I say something that she doesn’t like — nothing threatening or obscene, mind you; just things that she does not like — she censors me, apparently.  Not good for a Web site that supposedly champions free speech.

 

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I guess I was spoiled by the Casey Anthony and O.J. trials, but I’m sorry, this Conrad Murray business was as dull as dishwater.  Things perked up a bit when Murray’s stripper girlfriends (including the lovely lady pictured above) took center stage, but that was as exciting as things got.

 

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Pattern

 

We had the first-ever nationwide test of the emergency broadcast system on Wednesday.  I am noticing more and more of these “tests” during my nocturnal TV vigils.  Should we be concerned about this?  Just curious ….

 

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Friends

 

I swear, Obama is at his most entertaining when he doesn’t realize he’s being recorded.  First, it was the “clinging to guns or religion” fiasco, now it’s this dig at Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu:

 

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I watched a tornado video on the news.  Once upon a time, tornado footage on TV was a pretty big deal.  But in this age of cell-phone cameras, twister videos have sadly gone the way of NASA rocket launches — no longer very special.  On the other hand, that tornado in The Wizard of Oz never gets old, does it?

 

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by Ann Patchett

State

 

Story:  A doctor is dispatched to South America to learn what she can about a potentially groundbreaking drug and also the mysterious death of a treasured colleague.

Good:  Patchett is a gifted storyteller. The steaming, swarming Amazon and its menagerie of snakes, cannibals, and other perils seem very real.

Not So Good:  The plot includes some hefty leaps of faith. Why on earth would a pharmaceutical company send the heroine – an indoor girl” if ever there was one, and certainly no Indiana Jones – on such a hazardous mission into the wilds of Brazil?

Good:  Two themes are intriguing: 1) If an American company discovers the cure for a disease, but can expect little or no monetary gain, is it obligated to persevere for the benefit of third-world countries? 2) Should women well into their 40s – and older – have the right to reproduce, assuming it becomes possible?

Not So Good:  The novel is poorly edited. It’s littered with unclear passages and ambivalent pronouns.

Good:  In domineering “Dr. Swenson,” Patchett creates a true original, an older woman who suffers no fools and delivers an endless supply of amusing quips.

Not So Good:  Most of the other characters, including the heroine and her lover, the ludicrously titled “Mr. Fox,” are flat.

 

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Awakening

From 1988 to 1992, no Hollywood director had more success than Penny Marshall. Her string of hits – both critical and commercial – included Big, Awakenings, and A League of Their Own. These days, Marshall directs TV movies and series. Sometimes, you just got to scratch your head. Watch Robin Williams and Robert De Niro in Marshall’s poignant drama, Awakenings, free of charge by clicking here.

 

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Margin1

 

I don’t know about you, but when I contemplate the SOBs on Wall Street responsible for our financial meltdown, I want blood.  And when I learn that Hollywood has made a movie about the corporate “masters of the universe” who played hell with my 401(k), I want the film rated R — so that the filmmakers are free to dispense some well-deserved carnage and gore on the guilty parties.  In short, I want Gordon Gekko’s head on a stick.

After all, wasn’t it Michael Douglas’s memorable turn as glamorous, villainous Gekko in Oliver Stone’s Wall Street that attracted so many sharks to firms like Lehman Brothers in the first place?

Alas, there is no gore to be found in Margin Call, director J.C. Chandor’s incisive take on financial panic at an investment bank reportedly based on Lehman Brothers.  There is, however, a great deal of emotional carnage in the film.

 

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Chandor’s script depicts one day in 2008 when an entry-level analyst (Zachary Quinto) raises red flags about his company’s shaky business practices.  Faster than you can say “mortgage fraud,” the firm’s honchos are convening in the wee hours of the night to see what they can do to avert disaster.  Their choice is simple:  submit to the consequences of their own negligence, or screw business partners by selling off toxic assets, pronto.  Favored employees will grab whatever can be salvaged — and to hell with everyone else.

Margin Call is an actor’s dream job, and the cast doesn’t disappoint.  Kevin Spacey, especially, is riveting as a sales manager caught in a moral dilemma.  Does he do what’s right and retain the respect of his traders, or does he succumb to the demands of unethical superiors?  The suspense in this film derives not from what is going to happen (we know that), but from how it will happen.

Most of us don’t personally know any hedge-fund managers or Wall Street bankers.  We wonder, justifiably, what kind of monsters some of them might be.  Margin Call wants to show us the humans behind the crisis, and it does so effectively.  Turns out these guys aren’t really monsters — but you wouldn’t mistake them for angels, either.     Grade:  B+

 

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Director:  J.C. Chandor  Cast:  Kevin Spacey, Paul Bettany, Jeremy Irons, Zachary Quinto, Penn Badgley, Simon Baker, Demi Moore, Mary McDonnell, Stanley Tucci, Aasif Mandvi  Release:  2011

 

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     Watch Trailers and Clips  (click here)

 

 

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All Thumbs Edition 

 

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Entertainment Weekly — This magazine is like a good-looking woman with a flatulence problem.  Should you dump her, or try your damndest to overlook the gas?  EW is an exasperating mix of sharp, don’t-miss-them reviews and industry bullshit.  Readers have to wade through pages of show-business propaganda, glorified press releases, and other crap to get to the good stuff.  My advice:  Skip the first half of the magazine and go straight to the back, where they keep the reviews.

 

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What is it with Chris Matthews and his obsession with all things Kennedy?  The MSNBC host never misses an opportunity to gush about JFK, and now he’s written a book about his “fighting prince” and is making the media rounds, spitting on microphones and proclaiming his love for a man who — from what I can tell — ranks solidly “mediocre” on the scale of effective presidents.

 

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Bob Schieffer — who knew you were such a holier-than-thou, nanny-state-lovin’ nag?  I am referring to your chastisement of Herman Cain and his Internet “smoking” ad.  Last time I checked, smokers are citizens and smokers vote.  If I want your opinion, Bob, I’ll … never mind; I don’t want your opinion.

 

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Once upon a time, I was a movie geek in love with Rotten Tomatoes and Netflix.  Alas, Netflix succumbed to greed and Rotten Tomatoes grew indifferent to our relationship.  And so I found …

 

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… a new girlfriend, The Huffington Post.  She is fresh and exciting, but does have a tendency toward prickliness.  Certain topics are best avoided in her presence.  Thus far, she doesn’t seem to mind my comments about tumors and planets:

 

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.         Maddow2   Herman

 

Rachel Maddow points out that, so far, Herman Cain has A) quoted Pokémon during a Republican debate; B) issued an economic plan based on the video game SimCity; C) appealed to the nation’s smokers in an Internet ad; and D) launched into impromptu songs during his speeches.

Maddow suspects that Cain’s campaign might in fact be an elaborate practical joke he’s pulling on all of us, more performance art than presidential politics.  I think she might be onto something.  Just look at Herman’s smile in the picture above.  Would you buy a used car from this guy? 

 

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Natural
                                 

Major League Baseball games are simply too damn long. So is The Natural, a 1984 tribute to Robert Red– er, our national pastime. The movie is also at times peculiar and overly sentimental. But Golly Gee Willikers, if you were ever a kid who dreamt about hitting a home run in the Big Game, the picture’s climax is a real treat. Watch it for free by clicking here.

 

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Melana

 

My dictionary defines melancholia as “a condition characterized by extreme depression, bodily complaints, and often hallucinations and delusions.”  The definition says nothing about frighteningly big, rogue planets on collision courses with Earth — I’m thinking “hysteria” might be a better word for that scenario.  But Melancholia is the name of the planet doing a “dance of death” with Earth in director Lars von Trier’s new movie, a strikingly original piece of work with images and themes that are haunting.

Von Trier sets up his doomsday drama at a leisurely pace, examining another type of melancholy in the debilitating depression that grips Justine (Kirsten Dunst), a new bride with the eerie ability to “know things.”  Justine’s instincts tell her that marriage to the son of her wealthy employer was a bad idea, and they also tell her things like the exact number of beans in the lottery-jar at her wedding reception … and that the star in the sky that brother-in-law John (Kiefer Sutherland) insists is Antares is no such thing — and that the glowing orb seems to get bigger every day.

If Melancholia has a weakness, it’s that Part One (“Justine”) verges on overkill; we understand that Justine is depressed, now can we please move on with things?  In Part Two (“Claire”), von Trier finally turns the screw, with disaster approaching in the sky and everyone’s world turned upside down.  This is no Deep Impact, with cardboard characters servicing the special effects.  Instead, von Trier exercises restraint, creating a creeping dread that culminates with some unforgettable scenes.

 

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Claire (Charlotte Gainsbourg), Justine’s sister and a true believer in the power of ritual, begins to fall apart.  Her husband John sees his faith in science and material resources unravel.  As the ominous ball in the sky grows larger, Claire asks, “It won’t hit us?”  “Not a chance,” John replies.  Claire persists:  “But what if your scientists have miscalculated?”

Ironically, it is only Justine, the impulsive, runaway bride, who remains calm.  But her take on the pending end of the world (presumably von Trier’s take, as well) is less than reassuring.  “The Earth is evil,” she says, “We don’t need to grieve for it.  Nobody will miss it.”  Even more unsettling is her reply to a question posed by Claire.  “Life is only on Earth,” she says, adding, “and not for long.”

All of the actors are first rate in Melancholia, but this is von Trier’s triumph.  The images are dreamlike, and his use of Wagner’s prelude to Tristan und Isolde on the soundtrack is stirring.  The themes are downbeat, yet absorbing.  Melancholia is no battle between religion and science, because they both take it on the chin.        Grade:  A-

 

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Director:  Lars von Trier  Cast:  Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Kiefer Sutherland, Charlotte Rampling, John Hurt, Alexander Skarsgard, Stellan Skarsgard, Brady Corbet, Udo Kier  Release:  2011

 

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                                             Watch Trailers and Clips  (click here)

 

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