Thousands of birds falling dead from the sky … millions of fish washing up dead on the beach …. you can’t tell me that this isn’t the work of aliens from outer space.
NewSouth Books wants to delete offensive words from Huckleberry Finn? Hell no. Shit no. Those fucking pricks should be banished from publishing.
Not since Steven Slater thrust his goofy mug into the national spotlight have I grown so tired, so quickly, of someone’s 15 minutes of fame. Ted Williams, homeless-dude-turned-celebrity, Godspeed and enjoy your newfound riches, but please take your ugly face away from cameras and go spend some of that money on your nine — nine! — children.
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The aliens dropped me in Arizona once! Williams is my daddy … mom’s an alien … she liked his voice. Oh, and you should use Mark Twain’s face for Grouchy sometime.