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Thousands of birds falling dead from the sky … millions of fish washing up dead on the beach …. you can’t tell me that this isn’t the work of aliens from outer space.
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NewSouth Books wants to delete offensive words from Huckleberry Finn? Hell no. Shit no. Those fucking pricks should be banished from publishing.
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Not since Steven Slater thrust his goofy mug into the national spotlight have I grown so tired, so quickly, of someone’s 15 minutes of fame. Ted Williams, homeless-dude-turned-celebrity, Godspeed and enjoy your newfound riches, but please take your ugly face away from cameras and go spend some of that money on your nine — nine! — children.
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The aliens dropped me in Arizona once! Williams is my daddy … mom’s an alien … she liked his voice. Oh, and you should use Mark Twain’s face for Grouchy sometime.