Daily Archives: March 9, 2010

Sorority

 

I recently re-watched the classic sorority-massacre movie Black Christmas (1974 version), and that put me in the mood for a new slasher flick, and so I made the mistake of renting Sorority Row.

There is only one way to rate junk like this, so here we go (start with zero points):

1)  Does it have an attractive cast?  Are the sorority girls worth watching?  Yes and yes.  Add 50 points.

2)  Are the production values decent?  Is it well photographed, edited, scored, etcetera?  Yes.  Add 20 points.

3)  Do the attractive stars get naked?  No.  Subtract 30 points.

4)  Does anyone get naked?  Yes, several bit players in a shower scene at the midpoint.  Add 25 points.

5)  Is the killer a surprise, or pretty obvious?  Pretty obvious.  Call it a draw.

6)  Is the killer, once unmasked, a memorable villain?  No.  Very dull.  Subtract 20 points.

7)  Are the killings original?  Not really.  A tire iron is a tire iron.  Subtract 10 points.

Total score:  35

Is that a D or an F?  I’ll be generous.    Grade:  D

 

Director:  Stewart Hendler  Cast:  Briana Evigan, Rumer Willis, Carrie Fisher, Jamie Chung, Julian Morris, Leah Pipes, Margo Harshman, Matt Lanter, Audrina Patridge, Deja Kreutzberg   Release:  2009

 

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Charade

                      
In 1963, the greatest male movie star of them all had only three films left to make. Audrey Hepburn, Cary Grant’s match in charm and grace, would retire in four more years.  To watch these legends (free) in their only teaming — and in what might be the best Hitchcock movie not directed by Hitchcock —  click here.

 

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