The Weekly Review: February 14 – 20


Ozzie and Harriet    OK, we’re all a little tired of this melodrama, but there are no “victims” in this soap opera.  Certainly not golf fans, who were foolish enough to put Tiger on his pedestal.  Not Woods’s wife, who had to know what she was getting into when she married the lunkhead.  Not the mistresses, who will rake in big bucks from porn films, talk shows, and Gloria Allred lawsuits.  As for Tiger himself, he will finish his “rehab” and go back to his enchanted golf career.






Roger Ebert    The esteemed film critic says he doesn’t want pity, but I feel I might owe him an apology.  In the past, I have occasionally befouled the comments section of his Web site.  Ebert would usually reply to my (sometimes drunken) rants, and he always did so in a civil tone.  He’s a class act who really is a victim, unlike that boneheaded golfer pictured at top.






Shutter Island    There is just one thing missing from Martin Scorsese’s Shutter Island:  fun.  The movie is gloomy, which is not the same as scary.  On just a fraction of Scorsese’s budget, the makers of Paranormal Activity at least managed to produce a few chills.






Kevin Smith     No sympathy for this guy, who got booted off a Southwest Airlines flight because his booty was too big for one seat.  I am a smoker, and I don’t recall the Kevin Smiths of the world standing up for us when we got the boot.


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